It Had To Be You
by KJ7311
Summary: Lily and James share a flat with Sirius and Beth after graduating from Hogwarts and embark on a mission for the Order of the Phoenix.
1. Chapter 1

**_Most characters are J.K. Rowling's property. Beth, Marcus and some other minor characters are mine. _**

"The kitchens are clean," James announced as he and Sirius stepped out into the living room. "No, actually they're bloody pristine. Almost done, Lily?"

"Yes," I said as I flicked my wand to close the paint can and lift the protective tarp from two of the couches awkwardly pushed together in the middle of the living room.

Sirius collapsed on one of the couches and looked towards Beth, her Windex-soaked newspaper making squeaking sounds as she rubbed the window. "Aren't you finished yet, babe?" he called to her.

"It's slower without magic for us mere muggles," Beth pointed out to him as she crunched up the sodden newspaper and dropped it in a bag we were using to collect rubbish. She looked appraisingly at the tall windows, her hands on her hips. The light from the window lit the edges of her curly brown hair to a golden hue and outlined her slim body. "These windows are really nice without those ugly curtains and grime obscuring them."

Sirius patted the spot next to him and Beth dropped on the couch. He scooped her close to his side and kissed her quickly. James came to me and pulled me over to the second couch.

It was still early, our first full day in our new flat. Sirius and James had finished cleaning out both kitchens, grimy work even with magic, while Beth and I had tackled the large living room. As I directed the paintbrushes and rollers to spread a pale yellow paint on the smudged walls, Beth had scrubbed the windows until they sparkled. The results were dramatic. The June morning sunlight splashed through the clean windows, warming the old hardwood floors and causing a glow to the fresh colour on the walls. The kitchen counters and shelves now actually looked sanitary enough for food to reside there. Grocery shopping was next on our to-do list. James had run out earlier and bought us apples, crackers and cookies and we ate them as we took a break.

"We need to buy some firecrackers for the 4th of July," Beth poked Sirius in the shoulder.

"Why not buy them for the 1st of July? It'll be here sooner," Sirius leaned back lazily, stretching his arms and then wrapping one around her shoulder, his other hand resting palm down on her leg.

Beth gave him a mock glare. "Don't play dumb. It's too easy to believe," she told him acerbically. Sirius grinned and shook his head at her at the easy gibe. "We need firecrackers to celebrate America's Independence Day," she clarified. Sirius watched her with a gleam in his eyes.

"Why don't you call it that then?" James snorted. "It's the 4th of July all around the world, but you're from the only country that gives a shit." He carefully wiped a spot of paint from my cheek. I smiled at him as his fingers continued to caress my face long after the spot was gone.

"True," Beth smiled. "I guess we call it that because all Americans know what that day means. Even though no one around here cares, that doesn't mean I can't celebrate when I'm away from home. And you can celebrate with me," she informed Sirius.

"Why should we help you celebrate your country leaving us?" Sirius said. "We could use those taxes you cheapskates didn't want to cough up."

"I'll bet England would still like to collect taxes from all its former colonies," Beth said.

"Hell, yeah," Sirius agreed. "Here, we should call the 4th of July Selfish Yank Day."

"Or the day Britain got rid of its' citizens with the least class and the most crass," James put in helpfully.

"Who think they run the world—" Sirius said.

"Are loud as hell," James continued rapid -fire.

"And yet ignorant of everything going on outside of their borders," Sirius scoffed.

"Hog all the petrol," James added.

"Not to mention chocolate," Sirius raised an eyebrow at Beth. Beth was an avowed chocoholic, though you'd never know by looking at her slender figure.

"Hey," Beth bristled. "I believe my country is being maligned unfairly."

I watched Beth with an inward smile, ready to jump in and back her if necessary. She'd seen James and Sirius tag-team before, but they'd never done it to her. Sirius was gentler with her than he'd been with anyone. It was actually cute to see how sweet and protective he was with Beth. ("Cute?" James had sounded outraged when I voiced my sentiments to him. "Don't even think of letting Sirius hear you say that.")

"Wow, wait to fight dirty, Beth." Sirius laughed as he squeezed her. "This kind of debate needs no rationale or politically correct statements. Just have at it."

Beth frowned at him. "Fine. Despite the whining of the rest of the world for the U.S. to quit using its clout, anytime anything happens anywhere, they come screaming to us for help. Not only do we pour billions of U.S. dollars into foreign aid each year, U.S. citizens give more _per capita_ to people outside of the U.S. than anyone in the world. We're exceedingly generous and we rarely get credit for that." She paused and shrugged. "But we use way too much gasoline. And we're perversely proud that we're loud and a bit boorish." She turned to shoot an aggrieved look at Sirius. "Oh, and fuck you for mocking my chocolate addiction."

"_Any_ time." Sirius' smile was blatant. Beth tried to squelch a smile and her cheeks pinkened as he stared at her but I noticed her hand moved to curl over his thigh proprietarily.

"As long as you admit that much, I'm good." James yawned. I elbowed him unsympathetically. He'd kept both of us up for hours last night to-how did he put it? Oh yeah, "celebrate that we were _finally_ living together". James isn't the most patient wizard, although when I tell him that he reminds me that he waited a hell of a long time for me.

This is a big step for us. Technically, Beth and I are sharing one flat and Sirius and James are roommates in the place next door. At least that's what I told my parents when I had gone home for a week with Beth in tow after finishing at Hogwarts. Realistically, that arrangement never stood a chance. Before we'd even put down the deposits, James had decided to "temporarily" open the wall between the two flats, giving the place a large, irregular shaped living area with mismatched furniture. From there it was easy for James to bring me into his bedroom and shift Sirius to Beth's (not that Sirius needed persuading). I was pretty sure James is counting on our living together to not be temporary in the least, although Beth and Sirius are only playing house for the summer.

And then there was the money. James wanted to pay for the rent for both flats, and there I drew the line. "I'm paying my own rent," I had huffed at him adamantly when he informed me that he'd told the muggle landlord to send both bills to him. "Beth will help."

James had looked annoyed. "Why won't you let me pay for you? It'll be hard for you with that miniscule paycheck to afford this rent and it's cheap for me."

It's true my new position won't pay much. I start work as an assistant technician in a Potions Lab the Wednesday after we moved to our new place. I didn't care. I was so excited to actually get _paid_ to do what I loved that I would have signed on for a fraction of my wages. Beth was similarly happy. She had found a paid internship position in the Information Systems department of British Airways. She would receive college credit as well as draw a salary. She will be working with computers, her true passion. Beth had assured me she can cover her half of the rent and though we knew that after food and other necessities we'd have very little to spend on entertainment and clothes, we were fine with that.

"Because," I told James gently knowing he would have an easier time calming down if I was composed. "I want to be independent, James. This might be the only time in my life that I get to stand on my own two feet. Once I'm married, of course I'll share everything—expenses and income, the good and the bad- with my husband."

A muscle twitched in James' jaw. "You mean, once _we're _married," he corrected brusquely.

I smiled at him. He seemed to take that as an assent and he'd looked mollified, hauling me into his arms. "You win for now, Lil," he whispered, his breath warm in my ear. My heart speeded up when I felt his arms tighten around me and I pressed up closer against him. "You'll let me take you out to dinner at least, yeah?"

I nodded, nestling my head against his shoulder. "Okay." James always made me feel protected and safe. It was easy to rely on him. But I wanted to know I could rely on me too. "Just not every night," I cautioned, knowing how James' crafty mind worked.

I felt the rumble of James' chuckle. "You may change your mind. You'll be burning off plenty of calories with me every night."

I snapped back to the present as Sirius continued his anti-U.S. rant to Beth. "If the States hadn't won independence, you might have been living here and I could have met you sooner."

"Or I might not have been born," Beth pointed out. "I'm a typical American mutt. My Scandinavian mother and German-Irish-whatever father probably wouldn't have met. My mom's ancestors only went over to the States when the U.S. government was giving away land in the West to anyone who would live on it."

"In that case, I'll help you celebrate," Sirius kissed Beth hard and quick. "I wouldn't like a world without you in it."

James made a gagging noise at Sirius as Beth smiled at him tenderly. "There's another problem with you Yanks," James told Beth. "Your tolerance level for swarmy flattery is way too high. It's sickening to let him get away with shite like that." James was ecstatic that Sirius was openly crazy about Beth. It gave him plenty of fodder to harass Sirius with which James decided was only fair seeing how Sirius had tormented James for months, no make that _years_, about his feelings for me.

Sirius grinned at James. "You taught me everything I know about complimenting girls."

"Shit," James said. "When did you start listening to me?"

"I don't," Sirius said. "You drone on so long that sometimes some of it just sticks."

"Are all your ancestors from England and western Europe, Sirius?" Beth asked. "Since you're a pureblood, you must have good records of your family lineage."

"Yeah, I come from centuries of English and French arsehole wizards that look down their noses at anyone not in their fucked-up, semi-incestuous little world," Sirius overly enunciated his version of the Queen's English accent.

"The Potter family also," James shook his head. "It's kind of disgusting how many cousins have married each other in my family tree."

"It's past time you brought some new blood into your family," Beth said to James, but she looked at me archly.

"So it's my job to fix centuries of inter-marrying Potters?" I laughed.

Sirius nodded solemnly. "Somebody has to do it this generation. Hell, look at James. There's no saying how warped his kid will be if his wife is another pureblood from their family tree."

"It's true, Lily," James told me, his face serious though his eyes gleamed from behind his glasses. "The entire wizard world will thank you if you'll save us from another generation of in-bred Potters. A child with my blood and yours will set it all right again."

I giggled as James bent down and nuzzled my neck, torn between giddiness and panic. James has always been ahead of me in our relationship. He's fond of reminding me that he started caring about me two years before I even looked at him. It's true. I never disliked Potter, but for the first six years I knew him, I thought he was full of himself and immature. All those times he'd asked me out, I dismissed him out of hand. Until the beginning of our seventh year when we worked together as Head Boy and Head Girl and I really got to know him. He's sweet and caring and loyal and funny and smart and everything I hadn't realized when all I'd noticed about him were his pranks on fellow classmates and his monumentally huge ego.

When I finally agreed to go out with James, our relationship moved so fast it made my head spin. There were sparks between us that just ignited when we touched. Still, no matter how hard I fell for him, he stayed ahead of me. He seduced me so quickly yet tenderly, my feelings swung between buoyancy and panic. He told me he loved me first. He even figured out I loved him before I knew. (Although to be fair, I knew deep down inside. I just hadn't admitted it to him yet. Or to myself. And he only knew because I was able to perform a spell that only worked if you loved the person you were using it to protect. So, really I knew first.) I finally thought I caught up to him when I felt ready to move in with him after graduating from Hogwarts. Now he's galloped ahead of me again, ready to marry and procreate half-blood kids even though we're barely out of school.

"What about Sirius? Who is going to save his family?" I said to distract James from naming our future prodigy.

"They're way past redemption," James said matter of factly. "Sirius and Regulus are proof of that."

"I can't argue with that," Sirius said caustically. But I noticed his eyes rested on Beth with a yearning look. Poor Sirius. I realize how lucky James and I are when I see him with Beth. They have a limited time together thanks to this horrible wizard war. All I have to worry about is reining James in a bit.

After a couple more hours of cleaning and painting the bedrooms and bathrooms, we went out to lunch at an inexpensive Chinese restaurant near our flat. Beth tried to teach Sirius and James how to use chopsticks. "No, put your thumb here," she patiently put her hand over Sirius' and guided it back into position.

"I'll starve eating like this," James moaned as he dropped another piece of pork just as it was almost to his lips.

I fished his pork up with my chopsticks and brought it to his mouth. He obligingly opened it again and then chewed with relish. "Mmmm, it's good when it finally gets here."

"Do you two have any plans for Wednesday when Beth and I start our new jobs?" I asked curiously. James and Sirius had talked for months about fighting the war against Voldemort, but I wasn't sure exactly when they intended to do that.

"We're going to meet up with some of the Order of the Phoenix to strategize," Sirius said. "They're going to show us their plans and get us up to date on the war."

"Already?" I was a bit surprised. I hadn't realized this would happen so fast. "We just finished at Hogwarts a week ago."

"Of course," James looked at me askance. "You know how important every recruit is. Voldemort isn't waiting around to further his cause. We can't either."

I nodded, but fear caused me to drop my eyes. The thought of James out there fighting, in danger, was quite frankly, terrifying. I was part of the Order also, but since I had a day job, I would most likely be less on the front lines of the battles than he and Sirius.

"I can hardly wait to _do_ something," Sirius' voice was a mix of frustration and excitement. "I'm tired of hearing about all the shite Voldemort is pulling and feeling helpless at Hogwarts."

James grinned at him and their eyes met with an unspoken message. I knew in a flash that not only would James and Sirius not shy away from trouble with Voldemort, they would actively seek it out.

Beth and I shared our own look, far more troubled than our boyfriends'. Of course, I knew we couldn't play it safe in this war. Still, James and Sirius seemed to think they were invulnerable, as if nothing would touch them and that unnerved me even more.

"Not to sound like a clingy girlfriend," I started cautiously. "But—James, you _will_ be careful, won't you? I mean, as much as you are able to be, given we're in a war."

"I like it when you worry about me," James smiled down at me. His eyes were bright behind his lenses. "I promise I'll watch my back, Lil. Sirius and I always look out for each other too."

Sirius nodded. "Voldy's not going to know what hit him by the time we're finished with him," he promised grimly. "Neither will his minions. I can hardly wait to take on Rosier, Avery, Bellatrix and her even darker half, Wilkes-"

"Sirius!" Beth interrupted, her eyes round. "How many wizards are you planning to personally take down?"

"More than that," Sirius said coldly. "One of the problems with fighting the Death Eaters is there are many others that we don't know who they are. The cowardly bastards don't show their allegiance with Voldemort. They skulk around, terrorizing and murdering muggles and muggle-born witches and wizards." He turned to her, his eyes suddenly blazing. "This is why I'm much more worried about you than me, Beth. They're not hunting down pureblood wizards."

"Maybe not yet," I put in. "But they will if you two get in their way. They're not against murdering purebloods who oppose them."

"We can handle them," James promised grimly. He had the nerve to not look the slightest bit rattled.

"Cocky bastards," I muttered under my breath. James heard and his lips angled up.

James rubbed my back reassuringly. "We're going to win this, Lil." His harsh tone belied the soothing feel of his hand on my back. "We're going to defeat Voldemort no matter what it takes."

I didn't tell him that was exactly what I was afraid of—what it would take to stop Voldemort.


	2. Chapter 2

After lunch we walked to a nearby grocery store. Sirius and James fell behind as Beth and I pushed the cart through the aisles, planning menus based on what was on sale. "There's a coupon for spaghetti noodles," she waved a flyer at me. "Pasta is filling. Let's stock up."

I nodded and we added several packages to our ever-growing stash. "Who knew eating was so expensive?" I said contemplating how much food was already in our cart. By the time we wended our way to the check-out line, the cart was heavy with our items.

Beth frowned at the candy set up enticingly as we waited in line. "I read an article about the way stores set up their displays. They put the junk food by the check-out. You're tired and hungry and your resistance is low by the time you've finished shopping and it's so easy to grab."

"Does it work?" I asked watching her eye a Nestle Crunch bar.

"Like a charm," she sighed, keeping her hands firmly on the cart handle. Beth perked up as we moved to the front of the line. She watched avidly as the grocery checker ran our first item, a bag of oatmeal, over the scanner. There was a beep sound and the product and price popped up on a screen. "Awesome," Beth breathed.

I laughed. "It doesn't take much to make you happy."

Beth grinned, but then stopped the checker as the next item flashed on the display. "That's not right," she told her.

The checker looked at the loaf of bread she had just scanned and then the screen which showed it was an expensive box of tea. She shook her head. "Lots of problems with this still," she told us.

"Do you think this will catch on?" I asked Beth doubtfully as the checker manually typed the price of the bread into her register. "People won't like it if they're charged for the wrong items." Grocery scanners were so new many stores didn't even have them yet. Beth had explained how it worked to me, telling me how the computer read the bar codes on the packaging, accessed a database to pull up the product name and price, and tracked the sale in its system.

"It will get better," Beth promised. "Just think of how much time this will save once it's all coded correctly. Not to mention that stores will know what is selling so much quicker."

Beth loved technology, and computers practically made her drool. I watched in amusement as Beth followed each item checked almost gleefully. She caught two more mistakes in the system before all of our groceries were tallied.

"Wait—" we turned as Beth was about to hand the checker her money. James and Sirius ran up, their long arms full of food. Sirius had even filled up a basket that swung against his side. "We picked out more snack food," James said.

"I thought we agreed to stick to a list," I frowned at James. Between Sirius and his additions, they'd doubled our groceries.

"You've never shopped for teen-aged blokes before, have you?" James scoffed. "What you bought would last us about two days. Even this won't last a week unless we stop at the bakery a few times."

"But—" I started, eyes wide. Just how much did these two eat? I had eaten many meals with James and Sirius at Hogwarts this last year, and obviously I'd noticed how they ate much more than I did. But the amount of food they wanted to buy was startling.

James caught my worried look. "We're not splitting the food bill evenly." he said firmly. "Sirius and I will be eating way more than half of the food. We'll pay at least three-fourths of the total."

I started to shake my head but James forestalled me. "Or I'm happy to pay all of it. It's only fair, Lil. We will eat at least that much of the food."

"Hell, yeah," Sirius interjected. "Just look at you and Beth. You're both skinny and she's puny even for a girl."

"Hey," Beth protested. "Can't you at least use a nicer adjective? How about petite?" She noticed another mistake as a box of crackers was charged as cat food and motioned to the checker, who rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Okay, Beth's petite." Sirius had already nudged Beth aside and had his money in hand, waiting for the new total. Although disinherited from his parents' wealth, Sirius had been left enough money from his uncle Alphard to be independent. "Whatever you want to call it, you two don't eat much."

Beth raised her eyebrows at me questioningly and I shrugged. "We'll talk more about this later," I told James firmly. If James thought he was going to sneakily pay for my food this summer, he was due for another lesson in Lily's independence.

James looked a little too smug for my liking as he and Sirius picked up several bags. Beth shimmied her way through them to grab a couple bags, and she passed two more to me. There were still two full bags left when all our arms were full. James furtively looked around and I stopped him before he got to his wand. "Not in a muggle store," I whispered.

"How the hell do muggles get all their groceries home?" he asked aggrieved.

"Clearly most people don't eat as much as you," I commented drily. "If they do, they must shop more frequently."

"Why did we shop here anyway?" James shook his head.

"It's close to our place and it's cheaper than the wizard stores," I reminded him, then spoke quietly. "Plus, it's better if Beth is not seen with Sirius by wizards too often. Not many wizards come to this part of the city." Especially not wealthy witches like Bellatrix or Sirius' mum.

James nodded and tried to juggle another bag into his right arm that already held two. "I guess we—"

Sirius reached around us to pick up the last two bags. His arms were suspiciously empty. "Where are your-" I started but stopped when I saw his smirk. His pants pockets were distended and I knew he'd charmed his grocery bags to a fraction of their size while James and I were talking.

James gave Sirius an approving nod as we left the store. "I hope no one saw you shrink our food," I hissed at Sirius.

"Beth shielded me," Sirius said calmly. He shuffled his two bags to one arm and took one of James' four bags.

"She's too pu—petite to hide much, isn't she?" James queried.

"It was tough, but I stooped," Sirius said. He steered us around a corner and then took out his wand. In less than a minute, we each were able to stuff our charmed, newly small grocery bags into our pockets.

James continued to ponder muggles' lack of options as we turned towards our flat. "A mum with a family must have to shop all the time," he frowned in commiseration for all of the poor muggles out there. "I never thought how tough logistics must be for them."

I laughed. "Two of 'them' are right here, you know. It never occurred to me while growing up that my life was so tough without the benefits of magic. Or house elves." I lifted a brow at James. I doubted he had shopped for groceries much in the past coming from a wealthy family.

Beth nodded. "Me either. Though I loved it when my uncle visited and he used magic. I always thought being a witch would be the best thing ever. I still do." She smiled at me.

We reached our building and entered the stairwell. One of the reasons our rent was reasonable was that we were on the fifth floor and our building doesn't have a lift. Plus, the building was well overdue to be remodeled. The wood stairs were worn and scuffed and the paint was chipped and dirty. James had balked when we had first toured the place but the price had won me over. I was able to persuade him that we could fix up our flats easily enough and the common areas of the building were less important. I'm pretty sure the only reason he had conceded was because there were two available flats right next to each other ensuring that we could all live together once he blasted open the adjoining living room walls. We just had to make sure the muggle landlord didn't come in our place unexpectedly and see what James' magic had wrought. To prevent that, James had charmed an extra lock so the doors needed both the normal key and a special magic key. The magic keyhole only became visible when one of the four of us pushed their index finger on a knot in worn wood of the doorframe. The fingerprint was checked before the keyhole showed up.

This added security also relieved Sirius. He was worried that Beth might become under attack if his mother or cousin Bellatrix found out he was seriously dating a muggle. He was only allowing her to stay for the summer and he had already made her promise that she would go home if it became more dangerous. Beth couldn't protect herself with magic and Sirius was terrified she'd get caught in the middle of the wizard war.

Sirius opened one of the flat front doors and we trooped in. The apartment still smelled strongly of fresh paint and ammonia, which Beth and I had used to clean years of grime from the hardwood floors. We headed towards the larger kitchen, which was in James' and my flat. After piling our shrunken groceries onto the counter, Sirius expanded them to their normal size. Beth and I began to put food in the refrigerator and cupboards. "Where are those chocolate covered biscuits?" James pawed through several bags in vain. He finally looked at Sirius. "Is there another charmed grocery bag in your pocket or are you just happy Beth is here?"

Sirius looked sheepishly at his pants where one bulge remained pressed low in his pocket. "Both," he said as Beth giggled. "Quit looking in that direction, perv," he frowned at James.

"I'll look at anything no matter how _small_ when I'm this hungry," James admitted. Sirius grunted and then handed James the newly expanded bag he'd fished from his pocket.

After watching James polish off the entire bag of biscuits with a bit of help from Sirius, I had to admit he had a point about splitting the grocery bill unequally. Maybe I shouldn't be so prickly about expenses, I thought as James tossed the empty plastic in the rubbish.

I turned away to push the folded grocery bags under the sink, grimacing a little at a pain in my side as I bent down. As I straightened up, James' warm large hand slid around my waist causing me to shiver involuntarily. James' touch always did that to me. He pulled me close and dropped a kiss on my temple. "Are you okay?" he spoke quietly.

My brow puckered as I looked at him bemused. "Why do you ask?" My voice was low also, though Beth and Sirius were now heatedly discussing the petrol shortage and its impact on the economy. Beth enjoyed bringing Sirius up to date on all the issues in the muggle world.

"I, er, kind of—" he paused and I noticed a slight apology in his eyes. "I might have been a bit rough last night?"

I blushed and brought my hand to his jaw. I traced along the strong bone letting my fingers caress his slight stubble. "You weren't too rough." I smiled though my cheeks felt warm with embarrassment and met his eyes again. "It was amazing."

"But you just winced." Concern laced his voice. "I thought maybe I hurt you."

"I bumped my hip on the grocery cart in the store." My hand moved to his hair and edged up over his scalp. "I just felt a little twinge, that's all."

"Let me see," James' grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the bedroom. "I want to make sure—"

"James, I'm fine." I protested firmly.

"You really are a degenerate," Sirius and Beth were watching us. Sirius had a knowing smirk on his lips. "Give it a rest, Prongs."

"Fuck off," James didn't even look at Sirius. His voice gentled as he spoke to me. "Lily-"

I leaned in closer to him "I promise I'm okay. You'll see later." His eyes were still apprehensive and I touched his cheek softly. James looked relieved and he nodded quickly.

"So," Beth gamely filled in the awkward pause as James and I turned back towards them. "Who wants to go swimming with me first thing tomorrow morning?"

"I'll go," I replied. I needed the exercise. All I'd done today was get a little kink in my elbow from whipping my wand around. Inwardly, I grimaced at what a wimp I'd become physically since learning how to do magic. When was the last time I had actually used my muscles to scrub something?

"I would, but I'll be busy sleeping," James grinned.

Sirius nodded. "Me t—"

"You're coming," Beth interrupted him smoothly. "I know you didn't swim while Lily and I were visiting her parents all last week and you didn't have time the last few weeks at Hogwarts."

Sirius glared at her. "Why the hell don't I get to sleep in like James?"

Beth smiled sweetly at him. "I want to keep you swimming regularly until you've built up good endurance and your stroke is so engrained its automatic. James is already an excellent swimmer." Beth saw his mouth open in outrage and she continued easily. "You're very good, but you need a little more regular practice and I'm only here for the summer." Beth was so laid back, it was easy to forget she had a deep stubborn streak. Once she made up her mind about doing something, she was tenacious. Sirius sighed when he saw the expression on her face and gave in with a muttered oath, mostly for show. The reminder that she was only here for a few months made Sirius anxious to enjoy all the time he could with her.

James was watching with a wide smile, delight palpably radiating from him. Not many people could take on Sirius. Sirius scowled at his best mate. "Not a bloody word," Sirius bit off to James, "or I'll make sure you're uncomfortably awake before we leave."

James snorted but kept his mouth shut. I slid my arm around James' waist. "Maybe James can have lunch ready for us when we get back," I suggested. "What do you think, James?"

James looked happy enough to agree with anything. "Yeah, I can make lunch. I'll be sure to make Sirius some milquetoast."

"Bloody wanker," Sirius muttered knowing quite well James' reference as Beth threw that word out frequently. "I'll stuff any sodding toast you make down your throat."

"I'd like to see you try," James easily dodged the apple Sirius threw at him and it hit the wall with a sickening crunch.

"Hey, there's no need to waste food!" I protested. I could easily imagine what it would be like having kids with James when he and Sirius got into their endearing squabbles.

Sirius flicked his wand and the apple's flattened side turned towards us to show a bruise that looked like a hand with the middle finger extended up. James snickered as the apple floated back to the fruit bowl. "It won't go to waste, Lily," he grinned and the apple flew back to him. He bit into the bruised depiction of Sirius' favorite hand gesture and winked at me.

The next morning, Sirius and I leaned back on the hard bleachers. The air was humid and reeked of chlorine. The shouts of the girls playing water polo bounced off the tiled walls causing the sounds to almost echo. The harsh whistle of the referee came frequently, sometimes within seconds of the last call. It was startling how many fouls were called in this game.

Sirius watched Beth intently as she played. Beth was small and did not play close to the goal although occasionally she swam in to take a shot or pass to another player. Beth had explained the positions and basic strategy to me, but I didn't really get it. I had no idea when a foul was committed unless it was particularly egregious, like when Beth was pulled underwater as she tried to take a shot on goal. She was one of the fastest girls in the pool and she moved quickly to set up plays or quickly swam back to defend her goal when there was a turnover. The game was rough and Sirius grimaced every time Beth was yanked around.

Sirius had become a good swimmer thanks to Beth who had worked hard our last semester at Hogwarts to change Sirius' strongest stroke from dog paddle to crawl stroke. Just as we finished swimming, a club water polo team had recruited her to join their game as a few of their players were sick. Sirius and I came back to watch after changing in our respective locker rooms.

"You looked a bit broadsided yesterday," Sirius observed out of nowhere. Both he and James had a habit of doing that. What is it with blunt blokes not knowing how to ease into a conversation? "What are you worried about?" Sirius' voice was still casual, but I sensed an unusual seriousness underneath. "Is it the thought of having myopic little kids with bad hair?"

"No," I kept my voice level. "I like James' hair. And James makes spectacles look sexy."

"Lily," Sirius warned. "Don't put James and sexy in the same sentence unless you're want to see what I had for breakfast come back up."

I grinned at Sirius. I'd never seen as close a relationship between two mates as James and him. They were closer than brothers with a special bond that I knew would last their entire lives. Last fall, after James and I had been together a couple months, Sirius had extended his loyalty to me. I knew he'd do just about anything for me and our friendship had deepened over the last several months.

"I'm just worried about _when_ we'll have these half-blind offspring with unruly manes let alone get married." I said honestly. "I mean, we just got out of school. We're barely eighteen."

"They could take after you," Sirius pointed out, ignoring the crux of this discussion.

I leaned back and shook my head allowing him to sidetrack me. "Somehow I feel James' genes will dominate mine." Which wouldn't be a bad thing, I thought ruefully. It was embarrassing how easily I blushed with my pale skin.

Sirius grimaced understandingly. "James does come on strong in more ways than one." He clapped as Beth knocked the ball out of one of her opponent's hands and swam quickly towards the goal, alone on a fast break towards the goalie.

"I've noticed. He seems to be chaffing at the bit already." I said carefully. Beth was close to the goal, and she pump faked the ball and then threw it into the opposite corner of the net after the goalie moved to block in the wrong direction. Sirius whistled and I applauded and Beth turned and grinned towards us as her teammates cheered.

"I think James is ready to make an honest woman of you, Evans." Sirius was watching Beth as the two teams lined up in the middle of the pool.

Hearing it put into words made it seem more real. I took a bracing breath as Sirius looked at me askance. "You're not sure you're ready," Sirius stated the obvious.

"Yeah," I looked down, biting my lip. "I love him so much. I don't want to hurt him. And I do want to marry him and have children with him. Someday." My head snapped up as I heard a longer whistle and I saw Beth had been called for a personal foul. She sheepishly swam to the corner of the pool to sit out the penalty. Sirius gave her an enthusiastic thumbs up and she shook her head at him with a rueful grin.

Sirius continued our conversation without looking at me. "Are you two already discussing numbers?"

I nodded. "James wants at least three. He didn't like growing up as an only child. He missed having siblings to play with."

"That's probably the only reason he put up with me," Sirius said.

"He mentioned that," I said with a snicker. Beth's penalty must have ended as she had swum back into the action, receiving a teammate's pass. A girl from the opposite team pulled her under and she came up sputtering, still retaining control of the ball. I noticed Sirius' shoulders quickly tense and then relax once she shook the water out of her eyes and deftly passed the ball to a teammate.

"Has James ever explained why he's so anxious to settle down so young and have brats with you?" Sirius asked.

"You know his parents had him when they were older than typical parents." I glanced at him. Sirius had lived with the Potters the last two years. He knew as well as I how worried James was about their health these days.

"I noticed," Sirius said drily.

"James always felt he missed out a bit due to that. Oh not on everything, his parents are amazing and they dote on him. But he's an only child and his parents didn't have the energy to play much with him. He said they usually sat around and read on the weekends and they had trouble understanding why he was always bouncing off the walls with energy. He'd like to play with his own children, to teach them how to fly, throw a quaffle around the house, that kind of thing. He doesn't want his kids to be as lonely as he was before he came to Hogwarts."

Sirius nodded. "I think that's part of the reason James loved playing pranks on classmates so much his first few years at Hogwarts. He didn't have siblings to torture like I did when he was younger."

"You were right there with him on those hexes," I noted. "What's your excuse?"

Sirius laughed. "Didn't we just go over the problems of too much in-breeding yesterday?" He sobered quickly. "You know my family is far from normal."

"Yeah," I gave Sirius a sympathetic look he did not see as his eyes followed Beth moving across the water to chase down an errant pass. James had told me how broken up Sirius had been before he finally ran away from home and moved in with the Potters. "It was fortunate that you and James were there for each other."

"I can never repay him for what he did for me," Sirius said the words lightly, but I knew how serious he was.

"That's the thing about James," I put my hand briefly on his arm. "You don't have to repay him."

We shared an understanding smile before Sirius turned back towards the pool. "It's a good thing Beth explained this sodding game," Sirius squinted as the other team stole the ball from one of Beth's teammates and the water churned as the players sprinted down the pool.

"Yeah," I laughed. "Even so, I can never tell what a foul is."

"You and the umpire both," Sirius muttered as another whistle was blown for no apparent reason. After a few minutes watching the match, Sirius continued without preamble. "James just doesn't do anything half-measure. When he decides to do something, he works his arse off to make it happen. When he's committed to someone, his loyalty has no bounds." He turned to look at me and I raised an eyebrow. This wasn't news to me. "He's crazy in love with you. James would do anything for you. I think you know that. He tends to go overboard. He gets nervous when you don't seem to be keeping up with him and then he gets pushy. But that doesn't mean you can't put the brakes on him."

"I know," I said softly. "He's just…hard to resist sometimes."

"I know," Sirius nodded. "He's not the only strong personality in this relationship. He'll wait if you want him to, Lily."

The game ended a few minutes later and Beth swam to the edge of the pool and pulled herself out of the water. She walked towards us, pulling her helmet off as water sluiced down her body. Beth had an amazing figure, she was a little shorter than average, with toned muscles, shapely legs and voluptuous curves. Sirius' eyes were hot and intense as he watched her approaching. Water polo swimsuits were high-necked but skin tight. Beth had explained that this was so players would have a harder time hanging on to their opponent's suits underwater. It left nothing to the imagination and Sirius couldn't take his eyes off her.

When I had told Beth that I'd kill for her body she had snorted. "You're kidding, right? You're tall, have that long slim waist and look great in everything. I'd swap with you any day." I felt lanky and gangly next to her, but I did find clothes were more easily flattering when you were above average height. Plus I fit well next to James, who is a good 15 centimeters taller than I am.

As soon as Beth reached us, she turned around so that Sirius could unzip her suit halfway down her back. The suit was so tight that it remained in place over the front of her body even with the zipper down most of her back. She took a relaxing breath once her suit was less constricting around her chest and sat down on the bench in front of Sirius, leaning back against his legs.

"Good game, Beth," Sirius said, leaning forward to put his hands on her disgustingly toned shoulders. Beth twisted to smile at him and took his bottle of water from his open gym bag. His hands slid down the middle of her bare back in a light massage.

"Thanks," she took a long swallow of water. "I haven't played a game in a long time." She kept her face turned away from us and her shoulders tensed. Sirius rubbed them understandingly. We both knew without her saying more that she was thinking of her friend who Beth had always played water polo with. Beth's childhood best friend had committed suicide a year ago and at times Beth still struggled to cope with her loss.

"It's a pretty brutal sport," I said after giving Beth a few minutes. "Kind of makes Quidditch seem prissy." Beth laughed and turned back to look at me as Sirius scowled. Beth patted his leg comfortingly.

"I think Sirius thinks that sometimes too," she said. "His manly pride won't let him admit it."

Sirius eyed her bright smile. "It's a good thing I love you. You're a real pain sometimes."

Beth leaned up to kiss him. "Back at you."


	3. Chapter 3

"Noooo," I groaned as music blasted from my radio alarm clock. It didn't help that it was set on James' hard rock station. James moved but did not wake up as I blearily hit the button to shut the radio up and swung my legs out of bed. I sat for a minute, getting my bearings until nervousness replaced my sleepiness. It was my first day at my new job and I really needed to make a good impression.

After a quick shower and breakfast, I kissed a sleepy James good-bye. "You're leaving already?" He could barely keep his eyes open, but his strong arms pulled me down on top of him on the bed.

Last night had been the first full moon since we'd left Hogwarts. James and Sirius had gone outside of London to spend the night with Remus, who had to be kept away from people when he became a werewolf. It was always a hard night physically for both James and Sirius, not to mention Remus. They were exhausted by the time the sun rose, blessedly early since the summer solstice, the longest day of the year, was today. James had fallen into bed soon after the sun rose, and he had pulled me up against him and fell asleep before I could greet him.

"Yes, luv, I need to be there by 8:00," I said, trying to pull away gently.

"I'll pick you up after work," James mumbled. Though he seemed to have trouble moving his lips to talk, he didn't have any problems moving them to kiss me. After a couple more minutes, I reluctantly wrenched myself away.

"I really have to go, James." I smiled at his bereft expression and gave him one last quick peck. "See you at five then?"

James managed to open his eyes. "You'll be great, Lil. Don't worry."

It was just like him to know exactly what was bothering me. "Bye," I whispered and left, grabbing my purse.

Beth was waiting in the living room, her posture showing she felt as nervous as I did. We were both a bit relieved we were starting our new jobs in mid-week. This was the first day of the summer quarter for Beth and although she was being paid, this was also an internship where she earned college credits. I was starting on a Wednesday because my new boss was coming back from vacation today. He wanted to introduce me to my lab partner and show me the lab himself. I picked up my lunch and we hurried out. We had discovered we could take the same tube to our jobs, Beth would just get off one stop before mine. I liked traveling the muggle way when I had a friend to ride to work with. Her work day ended an hour before mine so we would not be riding home together.

Our tube station was full of tired looking muggles in professional attire carrying briefcases. I felt underdressed in my navy pants and pale yellow blouse. I knew I'd be wearing a lab coat and the dress code was casual in the potions lab, but it made me feel young and gauche compared to the other commuters.

"How do you like living with Sirius?" I grinned at Beth once we pushed our way into our train and had fortunately found seats together.

"I love it," Beth smiled, a slight dimple emerging on her right cheek. She pushed a curly tendril of hair behind her ear. "I know it's only been a few days, but he is so much fun to be with. He makes me laugh so hard I almost cry sometimes. He's so thoughtful too."

"This is Sirius Black we're talking about, right?" I asked mischievously. "The stubborn wizard who thinks he's Merlin's gift to witches and can do whatever hell he wants?"

"He does have a big head," Beth pursed her lips. "And it's not easy to change his mind." She shrugged before grinning again. "He makes me feel alive. I can't imagine not being with him."

"I'm just giving you a hard time," I shook my head. "Sirius is my favorite wizard after James."

"I know," Beth's smile faded with her next words. "I just wish this asinine war wasn't going on. It'd be nice to imagine we could have a future together."

I nodded, staring out the window at the huge adverts plastered to the curved walls of the tunnel. I hated feeling unable to help Beth and Sirius. I know the end of the summer would come all too soon for both of them.

"They were out awfully late on their mission last night," Beth said. I cringed inwardly. Sirius didn't want Beth to know that Remus was a werewolf or that he, James and Peter helped Remus by transforming into animals during the full moon. Sirius was using the Order of the Phoenix as his excuse for the long nights they would spend with Remus over the summer. I had argued with Sirius about the wisdom of keeping Beth in the dark. Sirius felt the less she knew, the better when it came to wizarding activities.

So I went along with it against my better judgment. "Yeah, James could barely open his eyes when I left."

"Will you ever have to go out on any of these late night missions?" Beth asked. "It would be really hard to go to your lab after working all night."

"Hopefully not too often," I said. "They don't want me missing work unless necessary for the Order. They know my work is important too. I think they'll give me smaller assignments than others who have more time."

Soon, we reached Beth's stop and she gave a final wave as she hopped off the train. At my stop, I stood up and trudged off, heading up the steep steps out of the Underground. Outside, it was still cool, but the sun was bright and already warming up the air. I quickly arrived at my laboratory building and after several minutes going through the extensive security, entered the nondescript, windowless building.

I found Derek Damocle's office easily from his directions. Damocle was an extraordinary Potioneer and had already made his mark with a number of newly discovered potions. Professor Slugborn had given me a glowing reference to get me this position and I was thrilled to be working with someone with Damocle's talent and reputation in the Potions field.

I walked hesitantly into the open door into a small reception area. A young dark-haired witch sat at the lone desk, writing in a large binder as parchments moved one at a time in front of her and then gently flew to a pile on her right. Behind her was another door to an inner office. "Hi," I smiled when I reached the desk. "My name is Lily Evans. I'm here to meet Derek Damocle."

The witch looked up with a shy smile. "Hello Lily. My name is Angela. Derek is expecting you." She rose quickly and strode into the inner office. Less than a minute later she returned with a tall, sandy-haired wizard.

"Welcome, Lily." Damocle shook my hand with a wide smile. He was at least twenty years older than me, but still quite young for all of his accomplishments. "You made it through security okay?"

"Yeah," I said. "This place is more secure than the Ministry of Magic."

He nodded. "There are some very vital potions being developed here that we don't want falling into the wrong hands. Security is top notch." He smiled at me. "Professor Slughorn has told me you were one of his most gifted students."

I could feel my skin heating up in a blush. I've never been good with compliments. "It's an h-honor to be working with you, sir."

"Please, call me Derek," Derek waved his hand impatiently through the air. "We don't stand on ceremony here."

"Yes, si—Derek," I stuttered. Okay, take a breath. Derek smiled at me reassuringly as if he was used to potions assistants who could barely form coherent sentences.

Derek led me to the hall. "I'm going to show you around the labs and tell you about our project." We walked down an institutional looking corridor with doors on both sides. Derek showed me the labs, supply rooms, break room and offices all the while explaining his routines and expectations. He peppered me with questions about my potions work at Hogwarts as we finished inspecting the office where Arthur and Beatrice, the rest of the administrative staff besides Angela, worked. He nodded sagely when I described my final few projects, a pleased gleam in his eyes.

"I think you'll fit in very well here," he told me as we entered one of the labs. "I'm really excited about this project. We're working on the Wolfsbane potion. Once completed, it will allow werewolves to take the potion to keep their human mind when they transform to a werewolf. That will allow them to not attack people or wizards during the full moon. We have made several promising strides recently, but we still have a ways to go before it will be safe for consumption."

Excitement made my heart speed up. Having personal experience of what Remus went through each month, I knew how important this discovery was. "Really? That would be wonderful!"

A young wizard was working at a long table strewn with parchment scribbled with formulas and various sized beakers in the center of the room. Derek motioned him to us, and he smiled at me as he walked around the table. My heart stopped for a second when I got a good look at him. He was gorgeous, chiseled cheeks, strong jaw and deep blue eyes. He looked like a younger aristocratic version of Robert Redford, less rugged American but more elegantly blue-blood. His blonde hair was wavy and each hair was perfectly in place. "Marcus Stevens, meet Lily, your new partner."

"Nice to meet you, Lily." Marcus took my hand. I nodded, my smile plastered to my face. I was trying not to be superficial and judge by his looks, but I'd never met someone that good looking in real life. He was a potions assistant? With a face like that, who needed a brain?

"Marcus will tell you more about your work on our project," Derek said. "I have some more testing I'd like to finish this morning. Marcus, I'll let you know later what the results are."

Marcus nodded and Derek strode out. Marcus went to the wall, where lab coats hung on pegs. "Here, we spill sometimes," he said handing me a coat. "You'll want to protect your clothes with this."

It didn't take me long to discover Marcus did indeed have a brain, a very analytical intelligent one. He explained the project so that I could understand the complexity of the undertaking and the path they'd covered so far. He was clearly knowledgeable and so friendly I forgot he could have made more money as a model after a few hours in his presence.

The morning went by quickly. It was wonderful to be working with Potions, to have up to date equipment and to not have to stop and pack up our work after a few hours. And I was thrilled to be working on this project. Marcus and I ate our lunch in the break room with Derek, who told us about the experiments he was conducting on the proportions of the main ingredient, Aconite to Sulsuper in the formula. Derek explained to me how toxic Aconite is and the difficulty in making a potion that would not cause adverse side effects or death when ingested. "It's been used for centuries as a poison, but it also, when prepared properly, has treated heart disease." Derek became animated when he discussed his work and I listened avidly, struggling not to feel awestruck.

Other Potioneers, potion assistants and administrative workers greeted us as they came in and found tables to eat their lunch. I noticed everyone treated Derek with a respectful deference.

"Where did you go to school?" I asked Marcus as we walked back to our lab after Derek had hustled back to his work. "I don't remember you at Hogwarts."

"I was there my first two years," Marcus said. "Then we moved to Belgium and I went to Beauxbatons. I graduated three years ago."

Beauxbatons was known for its beautiful witches. Marcus must have fit in well there, I reflected wryly.

Marcus and I talked and worked together easily as the afternoon wore on. I was quickly becoming used to his looks, my heart no longer sped up each time I met his eyes. He seemed comfortable with me too, he laughed at my jokes, listened intently to my stories and asked a lot of questions about my potions work at Hogwarts. I was surprised when I heard the old-fashioned clock in our lab strike five. "Thanks so much for everything today, Marcus," I said as we left the building after closing up the lab. It seemed surprisingly hot and bright after being inside in a lab with no windows all afternoon. I squinted as I fumbled for my sunglasses in my bag. "It was a really great way to start a new position."

Marcus gave me his heart melting smile. "You're very welcome, Lily. Would you like to -"

"Umph," I crashed into a large body. Strong arms steadied me, and I smiled when I saw whom I'd tried to mow down. "James!" I hugged him quickly. I pulled back and turned to Marcus. "James, this is Marcus Stevens, my new lab partner. Marcus, my boyfriend James Potter."

I could swear the temperature dropped ten degrees. James' face was impassive and his eyes were coolly assessing as he shook hands with Marcus. Marcus had looked a bit startled when I introduced James, but he gamely smiled in a friendly manner that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I better get going," Marcus said after James and he finished their stare-off barely disguised as a polite introduction. "See you tomorrow, Lily." He lopped off.

James gave one last glare at Marcus's retreating back and then slid his arm tighter around me. "How was your first day?" he asked quickly when he saw me watching him with a questioning furrow in my brow.

I decided to ignore James' lack of friendliness towards my lab partner. James was possessive and I knew he'd figure out he had nothing to worry about soon enough. "It was amazing," I gushed. "Derek is a mastermind, and oh, James, wait until you hear about the project we're working on!"

James smiled down at me, good humor restored. "Tell me about it."

"It will allow werewolves to keep their human mind even when they transform during the full moon," I was so excited my words piled on each other as they poured out. "They'll be able to resist the urge to hurt humans. Can you imagine how much better life will be for Remus and so many others when we finish this?"

James looked shocked, in a good way. "Wow, Lil," James beamed. "That's brilliant."

I babbled about my day as we walked down a few blocks to a quiet corner where we could apparate in privacy to our building rooftop. For security purposes, our Potions Lab could not be apparated in or out of. James and Sirius had also put a spell on our flat so it could not be apparated into from outside, although we could apparate from room to room within. He listened intently, laughing when I rhapsodized about how lucky I was to be working with Derek Damocles. "You're brilliant too, you know, Lily," he told me with a serious look when I mentioned for the third time what a genius Potioneer Derek was.

We apparated to our rooftop right outside the door to the building. James quickly opened the door for me, ushering me into the stairwell. Halfway down the stairs to our floor, I finally stopped talking mid-stream. "I'm sorry I haven't allowed you any time to talk. I haven't heard about your day, James. What have you been doing?"

James shrugged. "The Order meeting was postponed until tomorrow, so I pretty much slept through most of the day. It was quite a night last night. Remus was more belligerent than usual. Sirius and I had to keep at him all night."

The delicious scent of barbecued chicken hit my delighted nose when I entered our flat. "You barbecued?" I spun around to James, my mouth open in a wide smile.

"Yeah, Sirius and I wanted to make you and Beth a start-of-summer dinner," James led me to the larger kitchen. Beth was sitting at the kitchen table, watching Sirius as he slathered more barbecue sauce on the chicken sizzling on a grill he had set up on a corner of the table next to the open window. For a muggle, it might be dangerous to grill inside, but Sirius was using his magic so that the smoke exited through the window. Corn on the cob was boiling on the stove and I could see a bowl of potato salad. Fresh strawberries had been hulled and gleamed in a large colander, glistening in the late afternoon sun.

"This looks perfect," I proclaimed as Beth and Sirius greeted us.

Beth nodded. "Sirius won't let me help, so I'm admiring his technique."

"She means she's checking out my hunk of a body," Sirius said with a wink at Beth.

"Quit bragging," Beth snorted. "I never should have taught you American slang."

Sirius shrugged. "It ain't bragging if it's true."

"Or American expressions," Beth dropped her head in her hands. She looked up with a grimace. "You _do_ have strong shoulders. It makes sense as they have to be able to hold up your huge head."

James slapped Sirius on his arm. "It's pitiful when even your girlfriend recognizes your monumentally overinflated ego."

"Why aren't we barbecuing on the rooftop?" I asked, taking a seat across from Beth.

"It's off-limits right now." James and Sirius did not look at each other as James spoke to me, but I'd known the two of them too long to be fooled. It was always best to keep questioning until the entire story was out with these blokes.

"And just why is it off-limits?" I persisted. I moved the strawberries to the table and bit into one.

"Sirius and I are working on a special project," James folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the counter. His biceps flexed and I watched with an inward flutter in my stomach. "You and Beth can't go up there yet. It's not done."

"Really?" A surprise not a prank? I beamed at him. "When can we see it?"

"We'll finish tomorrow," James waved a finger at me. "Until then, stay away from it."

Sirius twitched his wand and the ears of corn lifted from the boiling water, one at a time, and dropped on a plate. He piled the chicken on a platter while James grabbed plates and utensils. As we dug into our dinner, Beth told us about her new job. "I even get to work on the programs for the flight scheduling," she said as she sprinkled salt on her corn. "They were psyched I already know COBOL."

"What's that?" James asked. Sirius gave him a warning look but it was too late. Beth launched into a rapid-fire explanation of COBOL, apparently some kind of programming language, and a whole lot of other technology talk that we didn't understand. After a few minutes she stopped, glancing ruefully at our confused expressions.

"Sorry," Beth mumbled. "I forget I can't talk about this stuff to non-geeks."

Sirius laughed and patted her back. "I like hearing you talk about computers. As long as you don't expect me to know what the hell you're talking about."

Beth turned to me. "Tell us about your new job, Lily."

I had fun talking about Derek and how I fit in the team. I was about to describe the potion we were working on when I remembered Beth didn't know about Remus being a werewolf. James gave me a funny look as I stopped abruptly. "I won't bore you with the technical side of what we're trying to do." I tried to cover as best as I could. I really sucked at lying even when it was just a lie of omission.

Sirius was eyeing me askance. He must have understood the subject needed to be changed because he leaned back, stretching his arms. "You working ladies make us look like kept blokes."

"Speak for yourself," James swallowed his last bite of chicken and reached for another piece. "Mad-eye Moody hinted he had a mission for me already. I thought you'd want to be in on it, but-"

"I'm in," Sirius interrupted.

"I don't want to have to twist your arm," James picked up his glass. "He will tell us more about it at our meeting tomorrow."

James had opened the window during the day, and it was a little cool in our bedroom by the time I had brushed my teeth and slipped on an old t-shirt of James' that I loved to sleep in. I was keyed up from my first day at work and anxious for James. I had missed him last night and he always knew exactly how to help me expend my nervous energy.

The shirt was worn thin in spots and so large that it slipped down on one side exposing my shoulder. I shivered perched on top of the bed covers, not wanting to get under the covers until James joined me. My legs were curled to the side, goosebumps raised and I absently rubbed them.

I heard the sounds of James rinsing his mouth after he brushed his teeth in the loo. He came in, a frown etched on his face and shucked out of his shoes.

"Who else is in your lab besides you and Marcus?" he asked suddenly yanking off his socks.

"No one," I picked up a hairbrush and began pulling it through my hair slowly. James loved to watch me brush my hair but tonight he didn't seem to notice.

"Surely Derek Damocles has a bigger team than just you two," James started unbuttoning his shirt, avoiding my eyes.

"He has other assistants who order supplies, track our budget and take care of cleaning the equipment in the labs." I explained. "But Marcus and I are his only potions assistants who run experiments on his project."

James peeled off his shirt and threw it in the vicinity of the laundry hamper. "He has such pale, cold eyes." James was not at all subtle and I smiled inwardly, understanding his lack of attention. At the same time, I watched the play of muscles on his shoulders and chest as he moved. I was very appreciative of how fit James kept himself.

"I've always been more partial to warm, dark coloured eyes," I said. "Hazel eyes are my favorite."

James shoulders relaxed as some of the tension left his frame. He opened his belt buckle and pulled the belt from his jeans. "His hair looks so fake. Not a hair out of place. Does he shellac it or something?"

"I have no idea what he does to it," I set down the hairbrush and rubbed my bare shoulder, enticingly I hoped. "I've always preferred hair that is a bit mussed. It makes it more touchable."

James automatically ran his hand through his already messy hair causing some of it to stick straight up in the back. The furrow in his brow smoothed out. "His clothes are fucking prissy. I mean, who wears a tie and a dress shirt under a lab coat?"

"The rumpled casual look is more my style too. It's such a waste of time ironing clothes." I smoothed the t-shirt over my hips wondering what else I had to do to get him to really look at me. James was the more aggressive one in our relationship and normally the slightest hint on my part caused him to launch himself at me.

"He's rather short too. I had to look down at him." James stepped out of his jeans. His face looked less drawn but he still wasn't meeting my eyes.

"He's just average. You're tall. You look down on most of us," I stretched my arms over my head slowly, arching my back and causing the t-shirt to be drawn tight against my chest and hitch higher on my thighs. James went still, staring at me. A new gleam emulated from his eyes and he moved closer to our bed.

"You look cold," he said after his eyes had carefully run down and back up my body, an anticipatory expression on his face. "Need help warming up?"

"I thought you'd never as-" before the words were out of my mouth, James was on top of me, pushing me back on the bed as I gasped in surprise. James had leapt at me many times before, but he still managed to startle me with how quickly he moved. His lips descended to mine and his kisses were hot and wet and mind numbing. His hands framed my face and he slanted my head to get the best angle, kissing me voraciously. It took him less than two seconds to make me feel more than warm, my belly pooling with a different kind of heat.

"You're so amazing, Lily," James said, his breath warm on my cheek. "Sometimes when you walk in a room, I can barely breathe. I can't believe you're mine."

I smiled, unable to think of a word to say with my throat suddenly tight. I cupped his face with my hands, pulling in him closer for another long, endless kiss. James' hands made their way down my body until he reached the hem of my t-shirt. He slipped them under the shirt and I involuntarily shivered. He pulled back to stare down at me, his eyes bright and intense. "You'd never fall for a pretty bloke like Marcus, would you Lily?"

I reached up and smoothed his hair from his forehead. "Of course not. I already fell for my wizard. I belong with you."

James' face lit up. Right before his head dipped toward mine again he muttered, "Damn right."


	4. Chapter 4

Marlene scooped a large dollop of cookie dough onto her spoon and moaned after putting it into her mouth. "This is what we missed at Hogwarts—the house elves never gave us the dough, just the cookies." It was Friday night and we'd invited Marlene to see our new place.

"Do you think they ever sampled the dough?" I grinned. House elves were so proud of their professional demeanor, they wouldn't dream of sneaking any food prepared for the students.

"No, they wouldn't ever," Marlene continued to dig into the dough. "I've never understood Americans fascination with peanut butter, but these peanut butter chocolate chip cookies are the best cookies I've ever had, Beth."

"You haven't tried the cookies yet," Beth grinned. "Just the dough."

"Unless you burn them to a crisp, I know exactly how awesome the cookies will be," Marlene said. On cue, the oven timer went off and Beth grabbed an oven mitt and pulled the first batch of cookies from the oven.

"Don't those need a little more time?" I asked, noticing how soft the cookies still were in the middle.

"No, they're perfect when slightly under baked," Beth said. "Trust me."

Sirius' head poked through the door. "Are the cookies done?" He and James were watching a football match on the telly and had put a silencing shield between the living room and kitchen, but the smell of baking always drew them to the kitchen. The silencing shield was a nice touch as the two of them tended to swear loudly and ferociously when their team didn't play up to their standards.

Beth quickly put half a dozen of the cookies on a plate and handed it to Sirius, who snatched it and left. Marlene grabbed her first cookie and sighed after swallowing her first bite. "I stand corrected. This is even more delicious than I imagined."

I spooned cookie dough onto the baking sheet as Marlene caught up on Beth and my new jobs. "You two already seem like career girls," she said when we'd finished. "I'm just working for the Order of the Phoenix and so far, it's been dull."

"What have you been doing?" I asked.

Marlene shrugged. "Followed some wizards, protected others. No battles yet."

"It's only been a couple of weeks since we graduated from Hogwarts," I reminded her. "I'm sure there will be plenty of action later."

"I suppose," she smiled gamely. "We're getting new assignments at our meeting next weekend. I probably will miss these peaceful days once it gets hectic. But it's really boring right now. Who knew war is mostly tedium and waiting?"

Beth and I exchanged looks. Although sympathetic to Marlene's desire for action, we both preferred James and Sirius to be bored rather than in danger.

"The hard part," Marlene continued, "is that we don't know who the fucking Death Eaters are. Most of what we're doing is trying to ferret the weasels out."

"It must breed mistrust," Beth frowned.

"Exactly!" Marlene broke a cookie in half and stuffed that in her mouth. "You start watching over your shoulders not sure who is friend or foe. That's one of the wonderful parts about being in the Order. I trust everyone there."

Our talk turned to other friends from Hogwarts. After two more batches of cookies came out, Beth took another plate of cookies out to the living room. Marlene grinned as she watched her leave. "She's got the 'taking care of her man' down pat," she said. Her gaze swung to me. "What about Beth? Is she dreading the end of her relationship with Sirius?"

I nodded. "She's hoping it won't have to end."

"But she's going to university around 8,000 kilometers away from here, isn't she?" Marlene took the empty cookie bowl to the sink and filled it with water. "Even wizards can't go that far easily or quickly."

"Yeah, and Sirius is worried she could be hurt if she stays," I started putting away the butter, flour and chocolate chips. "He'll send her back even before her school starts if he gets spooked."

"That sucks," Marlene finished washing the bowl and put it in the dishwasher. "He's crazy about her. I never thought Sirius would fall so hard."

I smiled. "Me either. Sirius has always been a tough nut to crack. He doesn't let many people get close to him. It makes sense given his dysfunctional family. Fortunately, James was there for him."

"Yeah," Marlene took another cookie and gave it a contemplative look before regretfully putting it back on the plate. "How do you stay so slim, Lily? You're seriously pissing me off."

Beth came through the door and answered for me. "Lots of sex."

"Now I really hate you," Marlene grinned. She stared at the empty plates Beth held. "Did they already eat all of those?" she asked in disbelief. At Beth's grin, she muttered, "And I thought I had pigged out tonight."

"Do you want to see our rooftop garden?" Beth asked Marlene as she hopped off the kitchen stool to stretch. "We put an owlery up there."

"Heck yeah," Marlene trailed after Beth and I as we walked through the living room. James and Sirius were kicking a football on the floor between them as they yelled comments to the players and I silently pointed towards the ceiling. James nodded and we went into the hall and turned towards the stairwell.

"The rooftop was messy and all the plants were dead," I said as we walked up the narrow staircase. We stepped out on the roof. The sky was still light to the west where the sun had recently set, the blues deepening further from the horizon. "The four of us spent all day Monday and Tuesday cleaning it up. James and Sirius worked the last couple days to convert an old gazebo into an owlery. They showed it to us for the first time last night."

Marlene grinned when she saw the gazebo, now freshly painted and outfitted as an owlery. James had put in walls on three sides to block the wind and several cubbies were built into the walls for our owls to sleep in. Sirius had come up with a special sub-floor that stood a few inches above the ground. Owl droppings and rodent bones fell to the specially coated sub-floor which could be easily lifted and sprayed clean.

"Nice," Marlene said admiringly. All of the owls were out hunting at this time of night but the owlery was very spacious and clean with only three owls for us to take care of.

Near the owlery, we had moved large containers that had sat unused for years. Some stunted, unhappy looking small trees were in a couple of the largest containers. Beth and I were hoping to nurse them back to health by watering regularly and fertilizing the soil. We had put fresh flowers in the smaller containers. On the sunniest space on the roof, Beth and I had planted a garden in a large rectangular wood box that James and Sirius had also surprised us with. Carrots, onions, radishes, sweet peas and strawberries starts were neatly planted in rows. I had been worried it was too late in the season to plant seeds. Beth unrolled the hose and started watering the garden and planters as I showed Marlene around.

"You even have lounge chairs," Marlene cried as she looked around the rooftop. "Do any of the other tenants come up here?"

"No," I said. "This rooftop garden was nice a long time ago but no one had used it for years. Since we're renting the only two flats on the top floor, the owner said we could use it. In return, we give him some of the vegetables from our garden."

Marlene smiled. "This is a great set-up. Your place looks like a dump from the outside, but inside its cute and quirky and you have this great outdoor space."

Beth nodded. "We love it. Our snobby boyfriends were a little less enthusiastic at first, but they've warmed up to our flat now that we've fixed it up. And then they were so sweet to do extra work on the owlery and garden to surprise us."

Marlene laughed. "I'm pretty sure they'd do anything for you two."

The next morning, I hummed as I left the bathroom, my damp hair swishing against my bare shoulders. It was Saturday; I had an entire weekend with James in front of me and the bright sun pouring through our bedroom window promised a beautiful day.

James was awake, sitting on the edge of our bed looking impatient as he waited for his turn to shower. "Were you writing a bloody book in there?"

His sarcasm was less amusing than he thought but I beamed at him magnanimously as I walked to his side. "Some of us," I said bending over so my finger traced his cheek "are not as naturally handsome as you." I purposefully didn't tell him I'd spent ten minutes carefully patting fading cream on each of the freckles on my shoulders and chest. James loved my freckles and insisted on counting them each night with his tongue. The cream hadn't lightened any of the freckles one bit, but since I'd paid £ 3 for the bloody tube, I was determined to keep trying until it was gone or my dreams of unmarked perfect skin were dashed.

James snorted. "You don't need to primp, Lily. You're always gorgeous." The mildly impatient look left his face as his eyes dropped down to my cleavage. His hand came up to push aside one of the spaghetti straps holding up my light summer blouse, cupping my bare shoulder. "Are you wearing a bra under this thing?"

I sat on his lap as his finger dipped assiduously under my blouse. "I thought you were in a hurry to shower," my voice became husky as he continued to explore. I loved James' hands. Just watching his strong tan fingers moving slowly over my much paler skin made my breath catch.

"I can be….distracted," his lips nuzzled my neck and his teeth scraped my shoulder as he moved my other strap down my arm with his mouth. My breath caught as he deftly dragged my blouse down to my waist. "You're so beautiful, Lil." James' voice was barely a whisper and my head dropped back as his mouth moved slowly down my body.

A glorious half-hour or so later (not that I was able to keep track of time), I found Sirius in the living room eating a bag of crisps. I brought my cereal and plopped onto the couch across from him. "Crisps for breakfast?"

"I had breakfast with Beth an hour ago," Sirius finished his bag and crumpled it before making the bag zoom towards the kitchen and presumably the rubbish bin. "This is a snack."

I wished I could eat like a teenage bloke for just one day without worrying about the consequences to my figure. "Where's Beth?"

"That water polo team at our gym asked her to practice with them," he said.

I shook my head admiringly. "Beth is in such good condition. Even after playing polo, that girl doesn't know what to do with all her energy."

Sirius grinned. "I know what to do with it."

I glared at him. "Please Sirius, some aspects of your life are meant to be private."

Sirius' laughter barked out. "You like knowing my business, Evans. If I didn't tell you enough, you'd be constantly trying to worm stuff out of me."

Unable to refute that, I maturely chose not to respond and dug into my cereal. Sirius took out his wand and desultorily sent a pair of his shoes flying towards his bedroom. The shoes performed a few loop the loops before disappearing through the bedroom doorway. "Do you and James have plans for today?" he asked casually.

"Didn't Beth tell you? We're going to Hyde Park for a picnic lunch and to play Frisbee." Beth and I had shown Sirius and James a Frisbee recently and they were enamored with the game. They were quickly learning how to throw and catch it with tricks although they were not yet as skilled as Beth.

"She likes to decide what I do," Sirius groused but the lack of any heat in his voice belied his words.

James overheard as he came in, his hair still wet from the shower. He munched on one of several pieces of toast stacked high on a plate, a mug of coffee floating through the air behind him. He sat next to me and his coffee gently landed on the side table. "Give it up, Padfoot," he advised. "Lily and Beth are better planners than we are and we might as well save ourselves the aggravation and let them have at it."

"I'm not as house-broken as you yet, Prongs," Sirius sneered.

James laughed. "Yeah, right. You sing a different tune when Beth's around."

"Denial can be healthy," I chirped in. "Sirius obviously needs to keep his independent, aloof self-image intact at this time. Maybe he's not ready to face how much he relies on Beth just yet."

Sirius glared at me. "Bloody hell, Evans. Why do you persist in telling us this muggle psycho-babble you read?"

"Muggles conduct these studies, but psychology applies to wizards too. Our brains aren't that much different." I smiled at him sagely.

Sirius opened his mouth to retort but was interrupted by a loud crack. An extremely ugly elf I recognized as the Black family's house elf stood in front of Sirius. I had seen him at Hogwarts delivering a message to Regulus last year. He bowed with a sneer on his face, his clear disdain for Sirius making the bow a parody of politeness. "Master Sirius," his voice was low and gravelly. "I bring news of your family."

"Spit it out, Kreacher," Sirius looked bored. "There's not much about my family I'm interested in hearing about."

Kreacher glared at Sirius and deliberately paused before he spoke again. "Your father is ill."

"Is he dying?" Sirius asked bluntly.

"The Healer believes he will most likely live, but he may not be able to regain his health completely." Kreacher's eyes bore into Sirius'.

"Anything else?" Sirius showed no emotion to the house elf's news.

"That is all," Kreacher bowed again making it clear it was a forced gesture.

"Don't bother coming again unless it's to tell me of my mother or father's demise," Sirius said coldly.

Kreacher's look could have frozen a volcano. "I will relay your message to your brother." Another crack and he was gone.

The silence felt weighted after he left. I looked nervously at Sirius but he was looking at the door, his face impassive. James waited a beat before speaking up. "Sorry, mate."

Sirius' gaze swung over to James and I. "He's old. Bound to happen." A trace of bitterness crossed his expression. "It figures it was Regulus, not mummy dearest who sent Kreacher to tell me."

I was furious at Sirius' mother all over again. I had pieced together Sirius' problems with his family over our years together at Hogwarts, but it wasn't until James and I started dating that I heard the entirety of the story with all its horrible details. Sirius pretended indifference but the hurt still stabbed deep at times. His mother's determination to wipe his existence from the family was malevolent, to say the least. James' eyes and mine met. James smiled crookedly and covered my hand with his. "She's following her usual lack of maternal instincts, mate," he said to Sirius.

"Yeah, she probably hasn't figured out she doesn't have any yet." Sirius looked back at the front door again and his eyebrows furrowed in a frown. "Fuck, I'm bloody lucky Beth wasn't here. I don't trust that cretin of a house elf not to mention her to my mother."

"But it could have looked like she was with me," I pointed out gently. I could see Sirius starting to work himself up over Beth's safety. "He wouldn't have known she is with you."

"Still, I don't want to take chances," Sirius said. He was acting increasingly upset. "Is there any way we can stop house elves from being able to apparate here?"

James shook his head. "No, house elves have different powers than wizards. I think they can apparate just about anywhere."

"He won't come back unless one of your parents die after what you said to him," I said soothingly.

Sirius nodded but the frown remained etched on his forehead.

In the late morning, James and I packed a lunch for our picnic. "I'm going to get blankets, suntan lotion and some Frisbees," I told James after we'd finished. Beth was just opening the living room door as I came out. Her curly hair was damp and her cheeks rosy from exercise as she beamed at Sirius who jumped up from the couch.

"How was your morning?" She dropped her gym bag and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his waist in a long hug.

Sirius hugged her back but I noticed his face still looked tense. "I found out my afternoon was all planned for me," Sirius said tersely.

Beth leaned back to look up at him bemused. "I asked you if you wanted to go on a picnic and play games at the park today last Thursday night," she said. "You grunted in what sounded like assent. Weren't you listening to me?"

"Oh," Sirius said. I savored how sheepish he looked. "I didn't remember."

Beth looked at him shrewdly. "What happened? Something else bothered you, didn't it?"

"Nothing I can't handle," Sirius pulled her close again.

Beth held him a minute but then spoke against his chest. "Tell me."

"My family's house elf dropped by with some news," he began. I left, wanting to give them some privacy. In our bedroom, I whipped out my wand and soon filled a bag with picnic essentials. I charmed the huge bag into the size of a purse and went back to the living room still lathering my skin with suntan lotion. The sun and I had a classic love/hate relationship. Suntan lotion was my only feeble defense against a new outcrop of freckles on a gorgeous day like today. Fortunately for my melanin-challenged skin, the sun was only strong in England a few months each year. Unfortunately, those few months were now.

"You'd think there would be a spell that could prevent freckles," I muttered as I capped the lotion. Beth and Sirius looked up at me and I was pleased to see Sirius no longer looked worried.

"Did you ever think no one bothered to come up with such a spell because it is unimportant to at least 99% of the wizard population and is for vanity only for the 1% who gives a fuck?" Sirius lifted an eyebrow at me.

"Remind me of that vanity thing again the next time you spend twenty minutes blow drying your hair," I smirked at him, knowing he did that every day. Sirius had thick, naturally wavy hair and unlike James, he liked it feathered back so it stayed in place.

"At least I don't put black goop on my eyelashes," Sirius snorted, batting his own ridiculously long eyelashes which, as if to emphasize just how unfair life was, were dark and did not need mascara.

"At least I don't transfigure my t-shirts to make them tighter around my chest to show off to my girlfriend," I snapped. Beth clapped a hand over her mouth as she laughed in disbelief. Apparently Sirius didn't share all of his secrets with her.

"Truce, children," James breezed in from the kitchen with our lunches. "Lily, you're stunning with or without mascara and no matter how many freckles you have. Sirius, you're lame and you should know by now not to question a girl's beauty routines. Now that that's settled, let's go."

Behind James' back, Sirius stuck out his tongue at me in a perfect imitation of a six-year old and I sent him one of his often used hand gestures in return.

A few minutes later, we left our flat. Sirius was driving Beth on his motorcycle and he took the packed food and drinks from James. James and I apparated without incident near a cluster of trees that hid us from view. We picked a sunny spot to spread out a couple of blankets and grabbing a Frisbee from my charmed purse began to throw it.

Soon James was working on catching it between his legs or having me throw it far enough away from him he had to sprint and make dramatic flying leaps before capturing the spinning disc on the tips of his fingers. James was easy to please, he loved any game that involved throwing an object.

A half hour later, Sirius and Beth arrived. Beth was holding James' invisibility cloak which Sirius insisted she wore when riding on his bike with him through the city. They were laughing and Beth turned to us with a gleam in her eyes. "We couldn't find any parking, so Sirius made a spot for his bike." She grinned at him. "Hopefully, no one will notice the street grew six feet longer to add another motorcycle parking spot."

"Who remembers exactly how long a street is?" Sirius shrugged. "And it's past time you learned the metric system, Yank."

Beth rolled her eyes at him before grabbing another Frisbee from my purse. Sirius put down our lunch and they joined us. We kept two Frisbees going at a time throwing them randomly to each other. James and Sirius delighted in trying to catch two Frisbees as creatively as possible when they were both thrown to them simultaneously.

Eventually, we stopped for lunch. I moved the sun-warmed blankets to the shade of a tree and re-applied suntan lotion while Beth passed out sandwiches, crisps and drinks. A voice spoke from behind me. "Any extra sandwiches? I'm famished."

I whipped around and jumped up to hug Remus. "Remus! It's so good to see you." Remus looked relaxed as he often did the first couple weeks after the full moon. Soon enough he would begin to dread the next one.

Beth came over to hug Remus and he spoke over her shoulder to James and Sirius. "Wormtail will be here in a few minutes. He's bringing bats and balls so we can play cricket."

Remus had already demolished two sandwiches by the time Peter joined us. The next few hours we ate, played Frisbee and cricket and ate again. By late afternoon, we pooled under a tree, sprawled out on blankets, laughing and catching up. I hadn't realized how much I missed Remus and Peter. It was easy to take people for granted at school when you got to see them every day.

"Any chance any cookies are left?" Remus asked, slouching back on his elbows.

"James went back for seconds," Sirius said. "I'd say there's as much of a chance as Wormtail getting laid tonight."

"Hey," Peter jerked up from his prone position. "I'm right here."

"Would you rather we said that behind your back?" James pulled me closer and I leaned against his hard chest. He scooted back so my head fell into his lap and I smiled up at him before letting my eyes fall shut.

Peter considered that for a moment. "No," he admitted.

Sirius stood up and extended a hand to Beth. "We should take off, Yank." He pulled her up and carefully combed a leaf out of her hair. "We'll take much longer than these apparating gits to make it back to the flat."

Beth nodded and gathered up the leftover food, quickly putting it in a bag after waving off my relaxed offer to help. Sirius took the bag from her and then raised an eyebrow as she pulled the invisibility cloak from his pocket. "No tickling me this time at stop lights," he lectured.

"But those kids in the car next to us thought it was funny," she protested. "They loved seeing a guy, seemingly alone, squirming on his motorcycle."

Peter cackled but abruptly stopped when Sirius gave him a pointed look. James wasn't fazed by Sirius' glower. "Nice work, Beth," he called out approvingly.

Beth grinned. "I'm pretty sure he looked even crazier when he turned to kiss me. Can you imagine how his lips must have looked making out with the air behind him?"

Sirius blanched as we laughed. "You snog her through the invisibility cloak?" Peter choked out.

"I wanted to try," Sirius glared at Beth. "I wouldn't call that one kiss making out."

"Quit slobbering on my invisibility cloak," James advised. "Then you won't look like such a wanker."

Sirius shook his head. "What kind of mate would I be if I didn't stay at your level? Come on, funny girl." He took Beth's hand and they left.

I listened drowsily to James, Remus and Peter, my head comfortably cushioned in James lap. James' fingers combed through my hair and my mind drifted to different combinations of chemicals that might work for my portion of the Wolfsbane potion.

"- a tough werewolf to follow when you jumped up that tree," James was saying when I came out of my reverie.

Remus sounded apologetic. "You know, I don't consciously try to make it harder for you to keep up with me."

"Yeah," Peter added excitedly. "You've had some close calls. Didn't James and Sirius lose you for a few minutes near Hogsmeade last month?"

There was a short silence. The words seemed to sink into my brain in slow motion. My relaxed mood vanished as I shot out of James' lap. I turned to him, my eyes wide with disbelief. "You went outside when Remus was a werewolf at Hogwarts?" My voice was incredulous.

James avoided my eyes, running his fingers through his hair. "We were with him, Lil. Sirius and I would never let him hurt someone. Nothing happened."

"Nothing happened? That's your justification for letting a werewolf run loose near a village and a school?" My voice shook. What the hell had they been thinking?

"James and Sirius were strong enough to keep him from anyone," Peter said defensively.

I swung to him angrily. My hands were fisted tightly. "You just said they lost him last month near Hogsmeade. What if someone had been nearby? What if Remus got to them first?"

"We didn't think that would ever happen," James said but his voice did not sound as assured.

"You didn't think at all!" My glare could have cut through stone. "I can't believe you…you imbeciles did this! You could have cost someone their life!"

"Sirius and I always kept -," James started.

"You know what Remus' life is like," I interrupted him angrily. "You know what being a werewolf costs him. You know how he keeps everyone but the Marauders from getting close to him, how he won't ever pursue a witch in a real relationship because of how he changes each full moon, how _sick _it makes him feel. How could you possibly have exposed someone else to having to live like that?" Tears sprung into my eyes and I stared at each of them in turn.

The three of them looked at each other. Remus hung his head.

"I know," For the first time, James looked shaken. "You're right, Lily. We never should have gone outside where people lived nearby."

"They were trying to make it easier for me," Remus said. He looked so guilt-ridden, my heart twisted. "It's so excruciating for a werewolf to be trapped inside. I clawed apart the walls I was so furious."

I was torn. It was tough being so angry with someone who already suffered so much and at the friends who were trying to alleviate his pain. But at the same time, I couldn't understand how they could have allowed Remus in his werewolf state to run free. They watched Remus struggle each month, they saw how guarded he was with others. How would they have felt if he had bitten a child when they were racing around Hogsmeade? And Remus, kind, conscientious Remus-I knew how devastated Remus would have been if he had bitten someone.

All of them were culpable. But in my heart I knew James and Sirius were the leaders of this group. If either of them had been against it, it wouldn't have happened. I didn't know what else to say and I bent my head over my knees taking deep breaths to slow down my racing heart, disappointment pressing a heavy weight on my shoulders. The others were silent, watching me. "I don't think any of you would have been able to live with yourself if someone innocent had been hurt." I said raggedly.

"I'm sorry, Lily," James finally broke the heavy quiet that answered my comment.

"I'm not the one who was in danger," I snapped. "Who could have lost their life because you eejits were careless."

James sighed. "I know. I can't change the past, but it will never happen again."

I raised my head to look at him, the tears now tracing their way down my cheeks. Did he really get it or was he just trying to appease me? James was fun, he was high-spirited, he was impetuous. He put hexes on classmates at Hogwarts without cruelty for the most part (besides Severus which was a whole different story) but without thinking the consequences through. I hated being the wet blanket, the one who slowed him down and put the brakes on his fun. But this was different. Someone could have died or been forced to live the rest of their life in the particular hell that werewolves with a conscience inhabited. James looked sincere, almost sick, and some of the tension left my chest.

James tentatively reached out a hand towards me. "I'm an eejit. I was too cocky, I never thought Remus would hurt anyone with Sirius and me there." He gently pulled me closer to him and rubbed my back, his large hand warm. "Please say something, Lily."

I was quiet for a minute, not trusting my voice. "You promise you'll never run with him near people?"

"I promise," James leaned closer to me. Remus and Peter were silent but when my eyes moved to them they both nodded somberly.

"And you'll talk to Sirius?"

James nodded. He hugged me tightly against him, his breath warm against my ear, his voice raspy. "I never want to disappoint you like this, Lily. It won't happen again."

I pulled back just enough to search his eyes. What I saw reassured me. "Okay," I whispered and I dropped my head into the crook of his neck. I felt the relief wash through James' muscles as he enfolded me tighter in his arms.


	5. Chapter 5

After dinner, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter and I made our way to a small school on the west side of London. Meeting locations were different each time for the Order of the Phoenix. We were not officially affiliated with the Ministry of Magic and secrecy was important. Mad-Eye Moody had notified us late last night of the venue of this meeting.

I pushed aside my somber mood ever since hearing that the Marauders had let Remus run outside when he was a werewolf at Hogwarts. I would think about that later. This was my first meeting with the Order. Dumbledore was not able to come to the majority of the meetings with his responsibilities as Headmaster of Hogwarts. Even over the summer, he was busy with many administrative tasks. Mad-Eye Moody would be running the meetings when Dumbledore was absent.

We entered the small auditorium of the school. Judging by the low tables set up for lunch, it must have housed grammar students. Witches and wizards gathered in clusters, talking quietly as they waited for Moody. I looked curiously around as James and the other Marauders engaged in their usual attempt at witty trading of insults. I recognized a few other recent Hogwarts graduates, but most of the witches and wizards looked—old. Well, not old, old. Like they were adults. Just like at work, it was a different world than school. Apparently, we were finally grown up.

"Lily!" A familiar voice interrupted my contemplation of actually contributing to society. Marlene rushed up. "Your first meeting. How fun is this?"

"Loads," I grinned. "I can't believe I'm actually going to help with the war."

"I know," she absently shoved Peter who was kicking a hacky sack with the Marauders so she could step closer to me. "My first assignment was just surveillance, but I'm hoping for something more this time."

"I just wa—"I started but stopped when an arm swung around my shoulders in a quick one-armed hug.

"Hey Lily," Marcus had come up from behind me. His smile was warm and just a little dazzling. "I didn't know you were in the Order."

"Hi Marcus," I tried to ease away from his arm naturally. I suspected James wouldn't take kindly to seeing too much touching between me and my gorgeous co-worker. "I never thought to ask you either."

I was pulled away from Marcus suddenly. James' large hand slid around my waist and cupped my hip. I swear James had eyes in the back of his head when it came to who was near me. "Stevens," he said in greeting, his voice quite a bit lower than usual. It amused me how blokes lowered their voices when talking to other blokes as if their testosterone had to be put on display.

"Potter," Marcus's voice was just as low but I noticed he took a step away from me.

There was a short silence. Marlene was staring at me wide-eyed and I jumped a little. "Oh, Marcus, have you met my friend Marlene? Marlene, this is my lab partner, Marcus."

Marlene beamed at Marcus. "So Lily gets to work with you." Her amused eyes swung to me. "What a lucky _witch._" Her emphasis on witch indicated she had a different word in mind.

James' hand tightened on my hip. I gave Marlene a weighted look. "Yes, Marcus is an incredible potions assistant. I've learned a lot working under him."

Marlene coughed just as James' fingers dug into my flesh enough to make me flinch slightly. My face flushed as I realized what I had said. "I mean, he has more experience than me and —" I paused, mortified. Beside me, James was dead still and Marlene was biting her lip. I'd just gone from sticking my foot in my mouth to having shoved it so far down I could barely figure out how to extract it. "—has so much work experience with potions. He's worked with Derek a few years and knows much more than I do." My hand quickly moved up to cover James' warm fingers. I didn't dare to look at him yet but I squeezed his hand gently in apology.

"Lily is an incredible asset to our team," Marcus put in smoothly. I looked at him gratefully and saw his face was impassive though his eyes gleamed with amusement. "Derek has already commented how advanced she is in potions for such a recent graduate."

"No surprise there," James leaned closer to me so that I could feel his warm breath on my cheek. "She's brilliant."

I smiled at James gratefully, relieved he did not seem upset about my faux pas. His eyes were warm behind his glasses and I lightly touched his jaw. "Enough praise," I said. "You don't want my ego to get like Sirius' ".

Sirius' head whipped around towards us when he heard his name. "What did I do this time?" he asked querulously. Remus had flicked the hacky sack back to Sirius just as he turned away and it hit him on the thigh and fell unheeded between his feet.

The four of us laughed. Sirius, Remus and Peter moved to join our small circle and introductions were made all around. Remus and Peter were friendly to Marcus but Sirius' face was hard and watchful. He was evidently aware of James' feelings towards Marcus.

Marlene began asking with Marcus about his work. "Sorry," I whispered to James under the noise of several simultaneous conversations. "That came out wrong."

"As long as it wasn't a Freudian slip," James lowered his eyebrows at me.

"Of course not," I said and then stared at him in bemusement. "Hey, how do you know that term?"

James grinned down at me. "Unlike Sirius, I like to listen when you talk about muggle psycho-babble. I like to listen to everything you say, Lily."

A warm feeling spread through my chest. Studying muggle psychology was one of my special pleasures. I love reading about recent studies and new theories. I often enthusiastically chattered away to James what I'd recently discovered, but I had no idea how much attention he had paid.

The room quieted as Mad-Eye Moody stomped in and stood on the small stage. Moody had a strong presence and he allowed his eye to roam the room, looking at each of us carefully for dramatic effect. "Welcome," his voice boomed across the room. "I don't have all night so we're going to make this meeting quick for you. I have a bit of news and then I'll be meeting with you in small groups to give you your next assignment or to hear your update on your current one. The new assignments will be given last so the rest of you old-timers won't waste any time getting back to work."

"You're such a slacker, Moody," someone called out. Moody allowed a fraction of a second for a twitch of his lips before he was back to business. After Moody had given us all some news and general directions, he left us to chat while he pulled small groups or pairs into an adjoining room. The newest recruits were brought in last to meet with Moody. By the time Peter, Remus and Marlene had had their turns in the next room, only James, Sirius, Marcus and I remained.

"Do you think we'll be paired together?" I asked James. James and Sirius had been given one task at the last Order meeting—to find a missing document that had details on some of Voldemort's followers who were in Azkaban-and they were actually disappointed that they were able to locate it quickly and easily.

"We'd better," James intoned, giving me a quick grin.

Surprisingly all four of us were called in to meet with Moody together. I glanced askance at Marcus as we entered the faculty lounge that Moody had requisitioned for his meetings. I wasn't sure James and Marcus were the best match to be working together.

"Have a seat," Moody gestured impatiently towards some dull yellow vinyl chairs, duct taped in places where the seams had split. I perched on my chair carefully, noticing the dirty linoleum and beige walls. This school was a far cry from Hogwarts' stellar beauty. It reminded me of my grammar school, before I knew witches and wizards existed.

"I'm giving you an important mission," he started, his eye resting on each of us in turn. "All four of you are a bit raw, being new recruits, but you're some of the cleverest of the Order. I expect you not to make me regret it." His eye swung to James and Sirius only. "You two tend to be impulsive. I'm counting on Miss Evans to temper your craziness. She's more logical than you two gits and she likes to follow rules."

"Why is he with us?" Sirius didn't even look at Marcus as he asked. It was clear who he was talking about.

"You are going to need someone who speaks French," Moody replied dourly. As Sirius and James started to speak up, he held up his hand for them to wait. "Not schoolboy French, but a native speaker. French is Stevens' first language."

"Why do we need someone who speaks fluent French?" James asked.

"You're looking for someone French, name of Boris. Stevens not only speaks and reads French but also knows the culture." He waved off Sirius who had opened his mouth before he could speak. "Boris is just a code name, not the real one. Boris has a list of French muggles' names that Voldemort wants."

"Why does he want the muggles' names?" Marcus spoke up for the first time.

"I'm not sure," Mad-Eye Moody looked disgruntled. "Dumbledore knows but isn't sharing the details. These muggles helped someone Voldemort hated."

"So Voldemort wants to kill them? All of them?" I tried to keep my voice normal, but James gave me a reassuring look that told me I'd failed.

"Yep," Now Mad-Eye Moody looked furious. I knew it was directed at Voldemort. "Boris needs to bring in the list so we can go protect those muggles. Boris had a contact, Horace Grant, who works in the Ministry of Magic. Grant was trying to safely bring Boris in to the Ministry of Magic but was killed by a Death Eater last week. We're pretty certain that Boris has been in London for some time, but is spooked now that Grant is dead and is in hiding."

"Why hasn't Boris contacted someone else in the Ministry of Magic?" Sirius waved his hand. "It sounds like it should be pretty straightforward."

"Grant was suspicious someone in his department is a Death Eater and Boris is afraid to trust someone he doesn't know." Moody frowned at Sirius. "You should know that you can't trust everyone even in the Ministry. That's why you have to follow your instincts even if they go against your orders."

"So what _do_ we know?" I asked after a puzzled look passed between the four of us.

Moody grunted at me in approval. "Boris is hiding trying to keep safe. Grant arranged for a place for Boris to live and work. We have a copy of all the messages Boris sent to Grant." He took a piece of parchment from his pocket and handed it to me. I scrutinized at it for a minute, James reading over my shoulder. We stared at each other in confusion and James slid the parchment along the scarred table to Sirius.

"What about the messages Grant sent to Boris?" I asked.

Moody shook his head. "We don't have those."

Sirius frowned as he read the parchment before handing it to Marcus. "What the fuck does it mean?" he asked as Marcus bent his head to read.

"It's in code, obviously," Moody growled. "What did you notice about it?"

"The first message made some sense, it was actually sentences. The others seemed like gibberish, numbers and letters all mixed together," I said slowly. "And half of it is in French which adds another level to me not understanding what it says."

"After the first message, the French is gibberish also," Marcus had finished reading and he swiped a hand along his brow.

"Is this all we have to go on?" James asked. "A copy of several coded messages?"

Moody nodded as he stood up, looking impatient to leave. "For now anyway. We'll let you know if we find out more."

We trailed Moody out of the faculty lounge and stood awkwardly in front of the outside door as he disappeared into the night. "Should we start on it now?" I asked.

James sighed. "Might as well."

I turned to Marcus. "Would you like to come to our flat? We can work on it there."

Marcus nodded and I reached for his arm to apparate to our roof. James pulled me towards him firmly and Sirius grabbed Marcus' arm, nodded at us and then the two of them disappeared.

I tried to keep a straight face looking at James, but felt my lips twitch with amusement. "You trust me, don't you?"

"Yes," James hauled me closer. "I'm not keen on trusting him yet though." The familiar vise gripped me and when it let go we were on our rooftop. I could hear Sirius and Marcus clomping down the stairs in front of us.

We entered our flat on the heels of Sirius and Marcus. The smell of brownies wafted in the air and a Fleetwood Mac song blasted from the stereo speakers. "Beth!" Sirius bellowed.

Beth walked in from the kitchen, her face lit with a warm smile. "You're back already." She had eyes only for Sirius but James and I were used to being ignored by the two of them after any separation. Beth would notice us eventually.

Sirius kissed her and then turned her towards Marcus who was trying to look around unobtrusively. "This is Marcus, Lily's lab partner. He's with the Order of the Phoenix too."

Beth blinked as she regarded Marcus with his stunning model looks, her mouth hanging slightly open. Sirius nudged her, hard. "Nice to meet you, Marcus," she managed to sputter. Marcus smiled at her and took her hand and Beth weakly smiled back. Sirius glared at her and she apologetically shrugged her shoulders. As Marcus turned away, Beth's eyes met mine and she mouthed "Ohmygod!" I glanced at James in triumph. At least my tongue hadn't hung out of my mouth when I met Marcus. Not that James had witnessed that meeting, but he should just know.

"Did you bake brownies?" James clearly didn't care about Beth's reaction to Marcus. "More importantly, can I have some?"

I turned down the stereo while Beth and Sirius went to the kitchen to get brownies and butterbeers for us. James had taken his host duties seriously by sitting at the dining room table, positioned in a corner of the living room close to the kitchen, and grunting for Marcus to join him. We dug into the warm, moist brownies, catching Beth up on what had happened at the meeting. Her eyes lit up when she looked over the parchment with the messages from Boris. "This is exciting—breaking a code," she gushed. "This first message is different from the rest. Do you think it's telling Horace what the key to the code will be?"

"Shit," James grimaced. "I bet she's right. Why didn't we think of that?"

"'Cuz we're not as bright as she is," Sirius said.

"It switches to French in the second paragraph," I said. "Marcus, can you translate it for us?"

"Sure," Marcus took the parchment from me and spent a few minutes writing on it before passing it back.

"Let's see what we can figure out," I said, grabbing my wand. I charmed copies of the parchment and passed them around the table along with quills and blank paper.

I read the first message quickly and then slowly twice more. "Any ideas?" James finally broke the silence.

"It just seems like a friendly message," I said.

"Let's break it down," Beth suggested. "What does Boris mention that may be hints to the key?"

"Look at this line," James pointed to his copy before reading out loud "'You know how perfect it is when my favorite obsessions intersect.'" He looked at us. "Do you think Grant knew Boris' obsessions?"

"How the hell are we supposed to know this creep's obsessions?" Sirius groaned.

"Wait-" Beth's forehead furrowed as she stared at the paper. "Boris mentions Marie Antoinette in the next paragraph. Maybe Marie Antoinette is one of these obsessions?"

I turned towards Marcus. "Are there many French people who are that into her?"

"Hell yes," Marcus nodded. "Loads of French people are fixated on Marie Antoinette."

"Do you know much about her?" James asked.

"Yeah," Marcus' handsome face reddened slightly. "I've read a lot about that period. My mum was muggle born and through her I'm a descendent of Marie Antoinette's sister, Maria Carolina, Queen of Naples."

There was silence. Marcus was descended from royalty? It felt surreal. My family came from generations of peasant farmers. My parents were proud they had finally clawed their way into the middle-class.

At least one of us was not awed. "It makes sense," Sirius nodded sagely. "I suspected you were a princess."

Marcus shot Sirius a dark look but did not respond, taking another brownie instead. I wanted to ask Marcus more about his family, but now was not the time. "Boris mentions books often though he's not specific about which ones," I said instead, trying to ignore the undercurrents threatening to explode in the room. "Maybe he's a bibliophile?"

"What the fuck is that?" Sirius asked.

"So you're ignorant as well as a prick," Marcus commented flatly. The short silence that followed his words was weighted and I held my breath not daring to look at Sirius. Sirius only let his friends call him a prick.

"The Prick and the Princess," James leaned back in his chair almost meditatively. "It sounds like one of those romance novels Lily likes to read before having her way with me."

There was a burst of laughter. I blushed but was too relieved that James had defused the tension to mind. I glanced across the table to find Marcus watching me, a warm gleam in his eyes that felt unsettling. When James saw Marcus' expression, his face hardened. Clearly piquing Marcus' interest was not James' intent. Marcus quickly looked away.

Beth fortunately turned the conversation to safer channels. "What else about Boris?"

"Boris also talks about injustice." I said as I took another bite of a gooey brownie. I could feel the hot blush slowly receding from my face. James was tracing circles on my palm under the table with his thumb making it difficult to concentrate. "And he mentions a particular French wine."

"So far we have Marie Antoinette, well-read, French wine, and injustice," Beth wrote quickly on her paper.

After another hour that brought us nowhere closer to an answer, Sirius threw up his hands. "My ignorant brain has had enough for tonight. Can we come back to this another time?"

"Yeah, I should go," Marcus stood up, folding the parchment and stuffing it in his pocket.

I walked Marcus to the door. "Do you want to come over tomorrow afternoon to work on it again?"

Marcus looked past me to James and Sirius who made no pretense of their interest in watching us. He grinned at both of them. "To hang out with my new best mates? I wouldn't miss it for the world." He whirled around and quickly left.

"Our pretty princess has claws," Sirius muttered after I shut the door.

"You be nice," I wagged a finger at Sirius. "Or I'll tell Marcus you think he's pretty."

Sirius snorted. "Be my guest. Maybe that'll scare him the hell away from us."


	6. Chapter 6

"Lily," James was snogging me awake. I moaned and turned my head into the pillow. James flipped me over so that I was pretty much forced to kiss him back. I mean, it was too much effort to abstain when his lips were _right_ there.

"No fair," I groaned. "It's just mean of you to wake me up early on a Sunday in such a tempting way." His hair was still damp from his shower and he smelled so good I burrowed my face in his neck.

James laughed. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. Sirius and I are going to go out to the bakery to get breakfast. What do you want?"

"A whole wheat muffin and a chocolate croissant."

James grinned. "Is the croissant your reward for the healthy muffin?"

"Duh," I was almost awake enough to smile, but not quite.

"You're picking up Beth's favorite sayings," James smirked. "See you," James left and I turned to hug my pillow in the hopes of drifting back to sleep. It didn't happen and I resignedly got up and took a shower. There wasn't a whole lot of hot water. Obviously, I had been spoiled by showering before James most mornings and I was done quickly, pulling on a halter top and cut-off jeans.

James and Sirius weren't back yet and Beth wasn't in the living room or kitchen. She was probably relishing her last day of sleeping in before the work week, I thought jealously. The sun pouring through the windows promised another warm day. I went up to the roof to check on the owls and water our plants.

The sun felt deliciously warm on my bare back in the cool morning air as I carefully watered our garden and plant containers. I turned off the water and moved close to the edge of the building to coil up the hose. Below me, I heard the sounds of people walking into the larger kitchen in our flat. James must have opened the window for the early morning breeze.

"I'll go get Beth," I heard Sirius say amidst the rustle of bags being opened. Their voices carried so well I felt I was right next to them.

"Hold up," James said. "We have to talk."

"Is it something I said?" Sirius said in a high falsetto. Why did blokes always use such whiney voices when they mimicked girls anyway? I turned the faucet harder to make sure it wouldn't drip and then started to turn away.

James spoke seriously. "Lily found out that we used to run outside with Moony at Hogwarts." I froze, all thoughts of leaving gone. Pushing aside the small voice from my conscience that warned about eavesdropping, I sidled even closer to the edge of the roof.

Sirius swore an octave or two lower. "She pissed?"

James must have nodded. "We can't go anywhere in the vicinity of any humans or we'll have to lock him up during the full moon."

"Dammit Prongs!" Sirius exploded. "Remus can cover a lot of ground in one night. We'll have to find a spot in the middle of fucking nowhere."

"Tough shit. We're not putting anyone in danger again."

"No one ever got hurt! Your girlfriend is overreacting!"

"No, she's not. You know there were a couple of times he got away from us." James' tone was harsh. I held my breath. I knew I shouldn't still be listening, but I couldn't drag myself away.

"But we bloody well stopped him! We can handle Remus. You're being a pussy, Prongs."

"You're acting like a selfish arsehole!" James hissed out.

"When did you start thinking with your dick?" Sirius sneered. "Oh, right, it thinks for you. You never used to be such a wuss about a little danger."

"It doesn't make you tough to do dumbfuck shit that could kill someone." James had his tightly controlled voice, which meant he was close to losing it. I gently released my breath trying to send James calming support psychically.

Sirius must have started to move away because I heard the sound of a body hitting the wall. "Just listen to me, Padfoot. I have a little scenario to run by you." James' voice was grim.

Sirius grumbled something too low for me to hear but I was pretty sure it was not complimentary.

"Wilkes heard rumors about Remus' furry little problem before we left Hogwarts. Remember that?"

"What's your point?" Sirius bit out.

"Let's just say Wilkes sent a message to Beth at Hogwarts on the night of a full moon." Clearly Sirius could see where this was going but he didn't interrupt James. "She thought it was from you. He told her you wanted to meet her by the Forbidden Forest. Meanwhile, you and I are fighting down Remus because he's particularly frustrated. He knocks you over and you inadvertently trip me. Remus takes off. He's only twenty seconds in front of us, but then he sees a young girl all by herself. It doesn't take much time for Remus to bite, Padfoot."

"Who the fuck would send an innocent person where they could run into a werewolf?" Sirius almost hollered.

"You!" James ejaculated. "You sent Snape to do just that!"

"That was different! Snape isn't innocent," Sirius yelled.

"That's not the point," James said wearily, his voice eerily calm suddenly. "I just want you to think about how you'd feel—how we all would feel—if something like that had happened."

Silence. I strained my ears my entire body tensed but heard nothing.

After a few minutes, James continued. "If Remus had killed or hurt Beth, or anyone for that matter, it would be blood on all of our hands. We can't risk it anymore. It's just not worth it, mate."

"Shit Prongs." Relief poured through me as I could tell by Sirius' tone he'd given in. "Are we going to have to play by Lily's rules for every bloody thing we do?"

"Lily's right about this," James replied. "We can't do major dickhead stuff that can kill or maim innocent people."

"So minor dickhead stuff is on the table," Sirius rejoined. I grimaced. Trust Sirius to look for holes.

"Yeah," James laughed.

"Are you going to tell Moony?"

"Lily already did."

Sirius snorted. "She didn't have to twist his arm, did she?"

"No, he was happy to cave. I think he's relieved."

"Pansy always felt guilty," Sirius muttered. There was another long silence but the tension was gone. After a minute, I heard cups and plates being placed on the table and the refrigerator opened a few times.

"Tell me, rotter," Sirius groused. "Why the fuck was I the one Remus was able to knock over in your little story?"

"You would key on that," James said, sounding amused. Their voices got quieter as they must have left the kitchen.

I checked on the owls who were contentedly sleeping in their perches, before heading back downstairs. James was just coming back into the living room from our bedroom when I entered the flat. "There you are," he gave me an alert look when he saw my halter top and shorts. "Breakfast is here."

"Just in time," I smiled. "I'm hungry." James' eyes slowly moved their way back up my body to my face.

"How much did you overhear?" James asked. My eyes which had been doing their own travel down his body shot up to his but I was relieved when I saw warmth and understanding there. James seemed to have very little trouble reading my expressions.

"All of it," I admitted glad he wasn't holding my eavesdropping against me.

I started towards the kitchen, but James caught my hand and swung me into his arms when I got close enough. He held me tight, his warm hands moving over my bare back. "I love it when you wear skimpy clothes," he said in my ear. "I'm glad you didn't dress like this at Hogwarts. I would never have been able to think about anything but getting my hands on you."

"Is that all you think about now?" I asked tucking my head under his chin.

"Yeah, but at least I don't have to worry about failing potions exams because I was daydreaming about how silky your skin is," James hands had moved to my sides and were stroking up and down my ribcage causing me to shiver. "Or how badly I need to touch you." He kissed me on the edge of my jaw, slowly moving closer to my lips. "Or how I want to snog you until we're forced to come up gasping for air." His lips reached mine. He kissed me softly, but then deepened the kiss, cupping my head as he angled my face. I made an inarticulate sound deep in my throat as he dropped his hands to my hips and pressed me up against him. My arms wound around his broad shoulders as I tried to get even closer.

We were interrupted by Sirius' bellow from the kitchen. "I'm not waiting to eat. If you two want any of this, you'd better come and get it."

We broke apart. "Sirius' timing sucks," James complained morosely. I pulled him towards the kitchen, James dragging his feet, his other hand still busy coasting up and down my back. Beth and Sirius were already at the table, happily munching on baked goods. Beth was wearing a soft robe, her damp curly hair pulled back in a loose pony tail, a few loose curls around her face. A huge plate in the center of the table held a smorgasbord of pastries, muffins and croissants with a pitcher of orange juice next to it. "I'm starving," James announced, his focus suddenly switched from my body to sustaining his own.

I shook my head at him as we sat down and he stuffed half of a muffin in his mouth in one bite. "If I promise not to snatch your food out of your hand, will you slow down enough to taste it?"

James didn't deign to reply or rather he couldn't as his mouth was full of muffin.

"Pig," Sirius told James disdainfully and then shoveled half a pastry in his own face.

"What time is Marcus coming over today?" Beth asked, her mouth blessedly free of food. How would I survive with these two gits when she left in the fall?

"Two o'clock," I said. James and Sirius both made faces to show me how little that appealed to them. "What?" I said defensively. "He's on our team. And believe it or not, he's a nice bloke."

James didn't answer, wisely concluding that it wasn't in his best interest to make me defensive of Marcus. Sirius raised an eyebrow at me. "I'd say he could be improved by hauling that stick out of his ass, but then again, maybe that's a requirement for princesses."

"I like princesses," Beth interjected, wiping chocolate off her hand on a napkin. When Sirius glared at her, she smiled back at him innocently.

Later that day, I answered the door after peering through the peephole. Marcus was there, and a genuine smile replaced the wary look on his face when he saw me. "Sorry, I'm a bit early," he said as I ushered him in.

He stopped, bemused when he saw our living room. James and Sirius were in the middle of a heated game of Sock Quidditch, one of our newly invented pastimes. They were holding their wands up directing the movement of four socks each. The socks were shaped like a player on a broom and they flew through the air, passing a mini-quaffle back and forth as they tried to set up a shot on one of the goals, floating at either end of the living room. Beth, who loved to play or watch any sport, sat cross-legged on the couch following each move with rapt fascination.

"We simplified Quidditch a bit because it's hard to direct more than four socks in such a fast paced game at once," I explained to Marcus. "There's no snitch or seeker just two chasers, one beater and one keeper. There's a quaffle and just one bludger. Since there's no snitch, we use time for the length of the match." As I spoke, Sirius' black sock beater hit a mini-bludger that blasted into one of Jame's white sock chasers who had been poised to shoot at Sirius' goal. James' sock was torn through the middle by the mini-bludger and they both cheered.

"Nice hit," James said approvingly, holding up his now defunct sock with a perfect mini-bludger shaped hole.

Sirius grinned. He eyed Marcus. "Ever play Quidditch at Beauxbottoms? Or were you too busy hitting on skirts?"

"Yeah," Marcus nodded. "Captain. And a good player can hit on girls even while playing Quidditch."

Sirius grunted in reluctant approval though I knew he had never paid attention to any girl during a Quidditch match before Beth. Sirius had always had a one-track mind and had only noticed girls when he was out with them. Until Beth, when he was unable to push her out of his mind no matter what he did. It had been tough for him to open his closely guarded heart to her, but he was happier now with her than he had ever been in his life.

"Want to play?" James asked Marcus politely. When he nodded, James asked, "Lily, want to join us?"

I held up my hands. "Not this round. You killed me last time." I turned to Marcus. "I didn't play Quidditch, so I'm not great on the strategy." Truthfully, I didn't want to leave Beth the lone spectator. It was tough being surrounded by wizards and not able to do magic.

"Don't let her fool you," James smiled at me. "Lily has phenomenal coordination. She's learning the plays really fast and I barely beat her last game."

"How can we play with three?" Sirius groused.

"It'll make it more complex," I pointed my wand and created another scoring area with three goal hoops, then arranged the three scoring areas so they were equally spaced around a circle. "It'll be harder to score when two players gang up on the one trying to set up a goal."

Sirius beamed. "Brill!" He whipped his wand towards the basket of clean laundry I'd been sorting and four of Beth's small purple socks flew out. "Here's your team, princess."

Marcus grimaced but took out his own wand and started directing the purple socks. In a few minutes, the three of them were yelling as the socks whipped around the room with speed and dexterity. I'd noticed James and Sirius liked playing in front of an audience. When Beth and I were there, their trash talk and enthusiasm escalated. Now, with Marcus in the fray, the room was even noisier with shouts, cheers and curses.

In the end, James won and one of his socks flew over to me on the couch and dropped the mini-quaffle into my waiting hands in our Gryffindor tradition from Hogwarts. I grinned at James who followed his sock to lift me off the couch and kiss me resoundingly on the lips.

One of Marcus' purple socks flew in front of Beth and the figure dipped in a courtly bow. Beth giggled and extended her index finger to shake its hand. The top of the sock bent over and gallantly mimicked kissing the tip of her finger.

Sirius' face flushed and his eyes narrowed. Marcus slanted him a slight smile and then made his socks march off in a row to the laundry basket, folding themselves neatly as they landed in the soft pile.

"Time to break the code!" James said enthusiastically. To my surprise, James had told me as we got ready for bed last night how much he loved trying to work out Boris' code. "It's like figuring out a puzzle," he had grinned at me. "Except when we put the pieces together, it'll actually matter."

I had stared at him. "I didn't think you'd like this kind of work."

"Why not?" James had pulled back the covers and came towards me where I stood in my t-shirt at the end of the bed.

"There's no action," I had said. "No fighting or flying or even danger."

"I like those too," James had tugged my hand and I moved towards him. "But this challenges me in a different way."

Now, I watched as James' wand swept the living room back to its usual order and brought our parchment copies and quills floating to the table. We all perused our parchments again, the room quiet besides the scratching of quills as we worked.

"Why do you think Boris keeps switching between English and French?" Beth asked, breaking the silence.

No one answered. I thought for a minute. "Maybe that is another clue? Something about the two languages?"

"This sentence is awkward. 'You know how I get when I read: Dare I cite Kant even now sensibly?'" James frowned as he stared into space. "It doesn't really fit with how Boris writes in the rest of this message."

"You're right," Beth's brow was puckered in thought. "Boris has a clear style and that sentence is different. It's weird."

"Who is Kant?" Sirius asked. He stared at Marcus as if daring him to call him ignorant again. Marcus just smiled at him benignly and Sirius' lips tightened.

"A German philosopher," Beth answered. "Big on reasoning." She hadn't even looked at Sirius but she ran her hand down his arm until she clasped his hand. Sirius relaxed and looked away from Marcus.

"It's strange that Boris used a colon," I mused. "It's grammatically correct, but poorly written." There was another silence as we all grappled for what this could mean.

"So maybe Boris was trying to make that sentence stand out?" Marcus tapped his quill on his parchment.

James read it out loud putting the emphasis on the first syllable of each word. "I don't see a rhythm or pattern." I stared at the sentence until my eyes were blurry. Maybe it was time to take a break. James tried different ways of reading the sentence out loud and I closed my eyes to concentrate.

"Wait," my brain was buzzing. "Read just the second part—the part after the colon."

James did so and my eyes widened. Everyone stared, waiting. "What?" Sirius finally asked.

"The first letter of each word—D-I-C-K-E-N-S. Dickens! It must have something to do with Charles Dickens!" I pounded my fist on the table.

"Boris must have used a Dickens book for the key," Marcus nodded, a huge grin spreading across his face, his eyes warm on mine. He turned to Sirius and spoke as if addressing a six-year-old. "Charles Dickens was a famous muggle author who wrote fiction concerning social reform in the nineteenth century."

"I took muggle studies, wanker," Sirius bit out. "And you're not near as pretty as my favorite muggle studies teacher." He grinned at Beth who had helped teach his last term of muggle studies at Hogwarts, ignoring James who coughed "teacher's pet".

"Which one?" I asked. "Dickens wrote a lot of books."

"Let's look at the other clues: Marie Antoinette, injustice, wine, going back and forth between English and French …" James trailed off.

"Dickens didn't write about Marie Antoinette, did he?" Beth looked at me and Marcus.

"No, but what does Marie Antoinette represent?" Marcus asked, a light in his eyes.

"That spoiled princesses become beheaded queens?" Sirius arched an eyebrow at Marcus. Sirius deserved a bonus point for remembering his French history. He had dozed through many of his muggle studies classes pre-Beth.

"You'd like to take my head off, wouldn't you?" Marcus didn't appear too concerned about the prospect which earned a cold stare from Sirius.

"The French Revolution!" I almost shrieked. "It's got to be 'A Tale of Two Cities'!"

James gave me a one-armed hug. "You're brilliant, Lil. The clues fit." He looked at Marcus, Beth and I for confirmation. Clearly he hadn't read the book and we all knew Sirius wouldn't have bothered. "Right?"

Beth nodded. "Yes, this fits."

"Except the wine," Marcus pointed out.

"Maybe Boris just likes that wine," Beth laughed. "Every mystery needs at least one red herring anyway."

"So, what now?" Sirius asked sensibly.

"Well…." I paused, thinking. "We have to figure out which edition of the book Boris used. Then we can look at the other messages and try and break the code."

"There are different _editions_?" Sirius' voice rose. "What the fuck is the matter with muggles? Can't they use one sodding book?"

"You know there are millions of more muggles in the world than wizards, right?" Marcus drawled sardonically.

"It's over one hundred years old," Beth pointed out, but unlike the last comment, her voice was factual instead of condescending. "And it's a classic so it's been reprinted a lot."

James was reading over the parchment and he looked up with a grin. "I think I found it. When Boris talks about the wine, he mentions that 1969 was a good year for French wine. Should we look for that publication year?"

Marcus stood up. "Let's split up and go to some bookstores."

An hour later, James and I returned to our empty flat. We had found two copies of 'A Tale of Two Cities' published in 1969, which appeared to have been a popular edition. "They probably reprinted it then due to the popularity of the movie 'Oliver', which came out in 1968," I told James.

"What?" James' knowledge of muggle movies was a bit limited. He liked them, but wizard families didn't normally go to muggle movie theatres, preferring their own entertainment.

James excitedly started reading the parchment again. I sat next to him and looked at the first message from Boris. It started with a three separate numbers separated with a space and then there were a few words. This pattern was repeated throughout the message.

"Do you think the first number is a page number, and the second number which paragraph on that page?" I asked. I had noticed the second number was consistently small, usually less than 10. "Then the third number might tell which word in the paragraph is used."

James looked at me admiringly. "Did you figure that out all by yourself?"

"No," I admitted with a small smile. "I saw that pattern in a movie once."

"Let's try it," he said. I grabbed a fresh sheet of parchment and James opened the book. After looking up the word, I copied it down and then added the words in the message that were after that number. When we'd finished one sentence, we read it silently.

"It makes sense," James breathed. "I think we've done it." He looked ecstatic and he grabbed my face and kissed me hard. I laughed as I wrapped my arms around James' neck and hugged him. His enthusiasm made the grunt work fun.

By the time the others arrived back bearing three more copies of our book, James and I had decoded the first message. "Thank Merlin," Sirius said as he fell back in his chair after we showed them our work. "I'm ready to do something besides stare at a sodding parchment."

"You know, this wasn't that hard to crack this code," Beth said reflectively. "Why wouldn't Boris have made it more difficult?"

"Voldemort doesn't bother to learn anything about muggles since he hates them so much," I explained. "Boris must know Voldemort, and his high-level Death Eaters, would think it beneath them to know muggle literature and history references. Dumbledore has told us that is one of Voldemort's biggest weaknesses, that he doesn't deign to try to understand his enemies."

It didn't take us long to figure out all the messages once we split them up amongst us. However, when we each read our section back to the group, we realized an obvious problem.

"Shit!" Sirius said. "We don't have Grant's messages. He's the one who told Boris where to hide!"

"Yeah," Marcus frowned. "But I think there are clues in Boris' messages as to where he is. We'll just have to work it out."

"I'm hungry," Sirius complained petulantly.

"Maybe we should stop," I agreed. "We've been working on this for hours."

After making arrangements for our next meeting, Marcus left. Sirius sighed in relief and put his head on Beth's lap after whisking a bag of crisps from the kitchen. James tugged my hand and led me to our room. A parcel wrapped in plain brown paper lay on our bed.

"What's this?" I gave James a bemused look.

James smiled at me. "Open it."

I ripped open the paper quickly. Inside was a sleeveless emerald green dress. I lifted it up and gazed at it in disbelief. It felt soft and silky with thin straps and a slim belt. My mouth dropped open as I turned to James. "How did you-?"

"Beth helped me pick it out," James said. "I was looking for a colour that matched your eyes. She knew what style to look for."

"It's beautiful," I held the dress against me and looked in the mirror. The green of the dress brought out my eyes and made my complexion glow. "But James, you can't just give me expensive presents for no reason."

"I have a reason," James replied with a crooked smile.

"And what is it?" I arched an eyebrow.

"It's the anniversary of when I first fell for you." James said simply.

"Last year?" I asked puzzled. James had told me when we first started dating he had liked me for years.

"No," he grinned. "It's been three years."

My eyes widened. "James, we weren't at Hogwarts three years ago today."

"I know," he came to me and cupped my shoulders in his warm hands. "It was at Linda's birthday party after we finished the term. Remember, she invited all of the fourth year Gryffindors?"

"That's right," I remembered that party. It had been so much fun seeing all of my friends outside of school during the summer break.

"It was in her back yard," James ran his hands down my arms. "Her little sister Vanessa had a few friends over too. Our classmates were on the other side of the yard, trying to be cool, ignoring the little kids on the swings. Vanessa had fallen out of the swing and hurt her knee. She was trying not to cry, biting her lip. She wanted to swing again—you could just tell by the way she stared at her friends swinging, but she looked scared. You came across the yard and went to her, kneeling down. After you talked to her, you stood up and got on the swing. You put her in your lap and the two of you swung together, laughing. I remember the sun shone on your hair making it red-gold in the bright light."

I smiled thinking of Vanessa's big eyes staring at me as I told her about the time I fell off the slide and refused to go down it again for weeks. She had nodded when I asked if maybe I could swing with her the first time she did it again.

"I walked closer to you," James continued. "Your eyes looked so beautiful. I had always liked how green they are, but that was the first time I realized how stunning they are. The expression in them-they show how beautiful you are inside as well as outside. Your smile was wide and you held Vanessa so tight. I had always had a little crush on you, but that was the first time I really _saw _you. My chest hurt just looking at you."

My own chest ached as I listened to him. I couldn't speak through the ball wedged in my throat. I remembered Linda's mom had called to us that lunch was ready as Vanessa and I swung. She and her friends had scampered towards the house and I'd seen James standing nearby, uncharacteristically quiet. He had grown so much taller that year that his angular body was all bones and skin, still trying to catch up and fill out. I had grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the house. "Come on Potter, there's food inside!"

"Of course I didn't know what to say," James confessed. "I was fifteen and awkward and I had no idea how to impress a girl. So I just watched you that entire day trying to think of how I could make you like me. And I've pretty much done that every day since."

"Oh James," I started and then stopped. How do you respond to that? Especially when it took me over two years to even begin to like him back. Because once the rest of our friends had joined us by the lunch buffet, we'd separated that day of the party. I hadn't really seen him then. Not yet.

"Even those few weeks at the end of sixth year when I went out with Leslie, I really just wanted you. I only dated her because you were dating Messler and I was jealous." James' mouth twisted wryly.

I kissed him and put all my feelings into that kiss. James kissed me back, his mouth tender on mine. He pulled back when he felt a tear run down my cheek, catching it with his thumb. Smiling, he picked up the dress which had fallen between us on the floor.

"Try it on," James urged.

I went into the bathroom, preferring for James not to see me until it was all the way on for the first time. The dress settled gently around me as I shimmied it down my body. I could tell even before I looked in the full-length mirror on the back of the door that it fit perfectly. The dress was fitted and followed my curves closely before ending at my mid-thighs. It was sexy as well as classy, a lethal combination. I had never had a more flattering dress. With a flick of my wand, I made my emerald earrings fly to me from the bedroom and I put them on, along with some mascara and a dusting of eye shadow. I had to open the bathroom door a little wider for my high-heeled sandals to sail in and the ensemble was complete. I wasn't vain, I knew I was considered pretty with my unique eyes and porcelain complexion. But this dress made me look different, grown-up and almost beautiful.

I walked out, feeling almost shy. James' eyes widened as he looked at me. "You are the most gorgeous, sexy witch," he said huskily, stepping forward and taking both of my hands in his. "Your eyes look even more phenomenal than ever in this dress."

"I love it," I leaned forward and kissed him softly. "Thank you James."

"We have reservations for dinner tonight," James said. "Afterward, I thought we could go to a park and swing if that's alright with you."

"That sounds perfect," I tightened my arms around him holding him close. "I love you, James. Thanks for waiting for me."

James' lips drifted to my temple. He spoke against my skin. "Like I had a choice. You're in my blood, Lil."


	7. Chapter 7

Monday night, Marcus arrived promptly at seven. Sirius was lounging on the armchair as I urged Marcus to have a seat while we waited for James and Beth who were cleaning up the kitchen after dinner. Or rather, Beth was wiping the table and countertops and laughing as James made the clean plates dance and the utensils bang on the table to the beat of Queen's 'We Will Rock You' blasting from the small stereo in the kitchen. A fork had narrowly missed my head when I had peeked in earlier and I had hastily backed out.

"I always thought French blokes were pussies," Sirius let his eyes roam over Marcus' shirt, a bright blue dress shirt. "But I have to admit it takes balls to wear a shirt like that in public."

Marcus flushed slightly but I noticed his lips twitched in amusement. "At least you have the gender right for that feeble insult," he said. I sat next to him on the couch and gave Sirius a warning look. Recognizing that lecturing Sirius would probably just egg him on, I decided to change the subject.

"Maybe we should—" I started. There was a crash of breaking porcelain from the kitchen with a louder peal of laughter from Beth.

"Your boyfriend is fucking inept," Sirius told me with a shake of his head.

"I suppose you think you're ept?" I raised an eyebrow at Sirius.

"That's not a bloody word," Sirius protested. His brows knit. "Is it?"

Marcus and I laughed. "No, it's not," I admitted. "But I always think it should be."

James and Beth came out a few minutes later. Beth went to Sirius and dropped on his lap. "Accident in there?" he asked, finding a sliver of porcelain caught in her curly hair.

Beth giggled. "One plate got a little too caught up in the song," she explained.

"I'll thank you not to slice up my girlfriend," Sirius glared at James who sat down between Marcus and me. The space wasn't quite large enough between us so I scooted closer into the corner of the couch so James wouldn't have to press up against Marcus, something I was sure wasn't high on either of their wish lists.

"The plate apologized profusely," James shrugged. "I figured this falls under minor dickhead stuff."

Sirius gave a short bark of laughter followed by his growled, "Arsehole."

James grinned at him and put his arm around me, cuddling me close.

"James and Sirius combed over the decoded messages today," I told Marcus speaking across James' long body. James had been eager to tell me all they had figured out when he picked me up from work. His excitement had caught me up also, and I was anxious to see if their first conjecture was right. "They think one of the possibilities is that Boris is living near the British Museum."

"What makes you think that?" Marcus asked James.

James waved his wand and his parchment flew into his hands. He showed Marcus the bakery mentioned in the third message from Boris. "Boris asked to meet Grant at a bakery for breakfast and noted it would be easy for him to come down. He makes a joke about the name of the bakery having the word 'croissant' in it, his favorite breakfast. We think his place is a flat somewhere above the bakery. There's a bakery close to the museum called 'Le Croissant'. There's another 'Le Croissant' in the High Kensington District."

"We went to one in High Kensington this afternoon," Sirius continued. "We checked out the flats, but we're pretty sure Boris is not staying there."

"Why not?" Marcus asked.

"Because they're expensive condominiums that the tenants have lived in for years," James said. "We found a chatty receptionist and a janitor willing to share. Even guests have to register with management and since they have security, they'd notice a stranger. No one has moved in since over a year ago."

"There's got to be more than two bakeries in London with croissant in the name," Marcus said slowly.

James nodded. "There is. We've found eight so far. Besides the two 'Le Croissant', there are four called 'Croissants and More', a 'Croissant is First in Our Name' and 'Croissant my Heart and Die'. We are just starting with Le Croissant but we may have to check out all eight of them."

"But how will you know who Boris is? There's bound to be tons of people living above all these bakeries." Marcus' questions were the same Beth and I had posed to our Sherlock and Watson wizards at dinner and they were ready with answers.

"Boris also mentioned he could hear the sound of the people leaving the tube from his flat. We'll check each potential bakery to see if they are close to a station." Sirius said.

"Plus Boris said that he could see people sitting outside of a café from his kitchen window," James said. "That will eliminate some places."

Marcus nodded looking a bit more optimistic.

"Boris also mentions he works in an office each day, presumably normal business hours," James said. "Since you and Lily work, Sirius and I will stake out each viable place and weed out the ones that don't fit. Then we can go to the ones with potential in the evenings and weekends and talk to the people who live there."

"It's not perfect but it's a start," Sirius said. "We already checked one of the bakeries off our list. We thought we could go out tonight to the bakery near the British Museum. We can see if it's close to a tube station and a café."

"I'm game," Marcus stood up. The rest of us followed suit.

Sirius gave Beth an apologetic look. "I know," she smiled at him, clasping his hand. "I have to stay here. I'll read one of Lily's romance books until you get home."

Sirius grinned and bent down to whisper in her ear before kissing her good-bye. The four of us made our way to the rooftop. "There's a phone booth right in front of the Museum," James said. "We can apparate behind it and meet there."

Less than a minute later, the four of us spilled out on the sidewalk from behind the bright red phone booth in front of the British Museum. A middle-aged man and woman were approaching and they stared as us suspiciously, the woman's eyes searching our eyes to see if we looked high. I supposed four teen-agers coming out from behind a small phone booth did look a bit shady.

Marcus stepped a little forward and beamed at them, his breathtaking face split into a sexy smile when he made eye contact with the woman. Her eyes widened and she stumbled slightly, her companion grabbing her arm. Her face flushed and she smiled back, slightly dazed. They passed quickly as her companion directed a slight frown to Marcus as he hurried the woman along.

"Direct hit," I said to Marcus. "Do you practice making women melt or is that just natural?"

Marcus just grinned at me and I resolutely kept my face neutral, shaking my head at him.

"Shit, women are shallow," Sirius rolled his eyes at the woman's back.

"And men are not?" I scoffed. "When it comes to judging by looks, you're definitely part of the weaker sex."

We found the bakery a few blocks away. "It's close to a tube station," Sirius pointed across the street to an entrance where muggles were heading out.

"Meets one of our criteria," Marcus nodded.

We walked around the block. The building was on a corner and sat between a street and a narrow alley. Across the street from the narrow side of our building was a small café. "Bingo," James said. When we looked back at our building from the café there was only one window on each floor that overlooked the street the café was on.

We came back around to the front of the building that housed the bakery. It wasn't too large. On the ground floor next to the bakery was a dark seedy-looking pub. There were three more floors above with what looked like residential units as we could see homey curtains fluttering in some of the open windows. A small door between the two businesses probably led to the flats.

The bakery was closed and dark. The pub door was invitingly open and cigarette smoke curled out into the night. James went to the small residential door and pulled finding it locked. Muggles were passing and the four of us made a semi-circle around the door so no one could see when James took out his wand and turned it gently. We heard the click of the lock release and we went in.

We were in a small hall. To our right there were six mailboxes in the wall. A steep narrow staircase rose before us. The stairs had seen better days and thick dust coated the outside of the stair treads. We started up, James taking the lead and Sirius the end. It shouldn't have been scary, but the building had an uncared for, seedy vibe that felt ominous.

There were only two flats on the first floor. "What now?" Sirius asked.

"We know it would have to be on this side of the building to be able to see the café," I said indicating one of the flats. "If the other floors layouts are the same as this one, that means only three flats would possibly meet all of our criteria."

James tilted his head to Marcus and Sirius, who nodded and moved out of view from the flat's door. We had discussed our cover story earlier. James whisked his wand over his clothes and mine and our jeans and light shirts were replaced with telephone repair uniforms. I held a clipboard and James a tool box. I gave him a wink to show I was ready and he knocked on the door.

Silence answered his first, second and third knocks. James took out his wand and the lock on the door clicked open. The door creaked as it swung open and I held my breath. James entered slowly and then signaled me to follow when he saw the flat was empty. I knew Marcus and Sirius would keep a look-out for us.

We moved quickly but stealthily to the kitchen. James and I shared a disappointed look when we found the kitchen window faced the back of the building, not the street with the café. The only view from this kitchen was the wall of a nearby building. We left, James giving a quick shake of his head to Sirius and Marcus who trailed us up the next flight of stairs.

The second floor flat on the same side of the building was clearly occupied. We could hear muted voices through the door. James knocked but there was no answer. He knocked louder and after a few minutes of muffled sounds, the door was slowly opened. An elderly balding man genially smiled at us.

"Mr. Brady?" James had noted the name on the mailbox on the ground floor. "There was some work done to your building today with the telephone connections. We're here to reconnect your telephone."

"What?" Mr. Brady cupped his hand to his ear.

"Your telephone, sir," James repeated louder. "We are here to work on your telephone."

A short woman who looked about seventy years old came from down the hall and walked around his side leaning on a cane. "Robert," she yelled in his ear. "Invite them in." Judging by the small piece of toilet tissue trapped on the bottom of her cane, she had just been to the loo.

Mr. Brady opened the door wider and gestured us in. We entered and I looked around without trying to be too obvious. The flat had a different layout than the one below it. It was much nicer than the common areas of the building. We were in the living room which was open to a dining area. It looked homey and comfortable, filled with old-fashioned but good quality furniture and lovely pictures. The telly was on in the living room. A pile of yarn, a partially completed scarf and knitting needles were piled on the end table as if hastily set aside. Even from several feet away, I could see the stitches looked uneven and I wondered if Mrs. Brady had failing eyesight. Next to the knitting were a cup and a half-eaten Cadbury milk chocolate almond bar. A few books were piled on the couch. A reclining chair next to the couch had a light throw on it, and the table next to it held another cup and some bottles of medicine. I felt guilty, it looked like we had interrupted a nice elderly couple relaxing together and watching their favorite television show.

Mrs. Brady smiled at me and tugged me closer to her. "Why are you working so late?" she asked. Her eyes were friendly and she leaned slightly on my arm for balance.

"We got behind schedule today," I explained. "The phone wire repair work was planned to be completed by noon so we could hook up each flat's phone today. Our supervisor asked us to work late so as not to leave you without your phone another day." I didn't tell her that Sirius had waved his wand to disconnect their phone a few minutes ago. Hopefully they hadn't used their phone this afternoon or they would know it had only recently stopped working.

Mr. Brady was leading James into the kitchen, presumably where one of their phones was located. Mrs. Brady watched James leave and then gave me a knowing look. "Is he your beau?"

I blushed. "Yes." With my lack of penchant for lying, I figured the closer I stayed to the truth, the better. People often told us they could tell James and I are a couple even when we weren't standing close to each other. "When you look at each other, the air is charged," one witch had jealously whispered at a party.

"He's hot," Mrs. Brady observed.

I cleared my throat, more than a little surprised. "Yes ma'am." I said awkwardly. "We're very sorry to interrupt your evening."

She shook her head. "Don't worry about it. We enjoy good-looking young people dropping by. We've lived here thirty years and the scenery doesn't change much."

"Does anyone else live with the two of you?" I asked looking at my clipboard.

"Our children moved out years ago," she smiled proudly. "We have three grandchildren, but they don't live in London."

"Do you work outside the home?" I tried to sound as if this could at all be relevant to a telephone company worker.

"You're such a sweet girl," Mrs. Brady patted my arm. "We've been retired for years, but thank you for pretending we look young enough to still be working."

James and Mr. Brady came back from the kitchen. James met my eyes and I knew the kitchen window had a view of the café. Mr. Brady pointed to another telephone, on the wall between the dining area and living room. James moved to the phone, standing just in front of Mrs. Brady and me.

"Is he good in bed?" Mrs. Brady spoke next to me.

"What?" I jerked my head to look at her in shock.

"He looks like he would be," she watched James as he unscrewed the casing from the telephone. "He's got such good hands."

"Florence!" Mr. Brady barked from several feet away. He stood by the kitchen door frowning across the room at his wife. "Don't embarrass the young lady."

James didn't turn around but I could see by the rigidity in his shoulders that he was holding himself stiffly, trying not to laugh. He took out another tool and unhooked a small wire, leaning over to grab a new wire from the toolbox.

"Those shoulders are so broad," Mrs. Brady continued with a wink at me. "And his a—"

James dropped his screwdriver which hit his toolbox with a loud clatter and bent to pick it up, keeping his face turned away from us. Mr. Brady's eyes were narrowed as he stared at his wife. "Don't harass the nice people working late to help us."

"I'm sorry," she said although she didn't sound contrite at all. "It's my fifth day on this bloody diet the doctor put me on. No sweets, no dairy, no caffeine. Even my tea is bland without milk and sugar."

"Welcome to my world," Mr. Brady growled. "I haven't been allowed to eat nuts or popcorn for two years. My favorite foods, once upon a time."

James was upright again, deftly attaching the new wire. Considering he had never done this before, I was impressed. He looked as if he knew what he was doing.

Mrs. Brady smiled at me again, her pale blue eyes intelligent. I looked at my clipboard, quickly making some notes and trying to look official.

"I remember the days when I had a strong young man in my bed." Mrs. Brady's voice was so matter of fact we might have been discussing the weather. "In his day, Robert was very –"

"Florence!" Mr. Brady almost yelled this time. "You're making the young lady blush."

"I apologize Miss –" she glanced at my name tag "Edwards. I tend to be frank. No point beating around the bush, eh?"

"Yes ma'am," I answered. I didn't even want to know how red my face was by this point. James was putting the casing back on the phone and I flipped the cover over the clipboard.

"All done sir," James picked up his toolbox and turned to Mr. Brady. "Thank you both for your time." He moved towards me.

"Thank you," Mr. Brady said. "You two enjoy the rest of your evening." James reached to open the door and we stepped into the hall.

"And those large hands," Mrs. Brady added with another wink at me. I stumbled and James caught my arm, steadying me. Mrs. Brady swung the door shut and James and I managed to sprint down the hall and around the corner before dissolving into laughter.

Sirius and Marcus followed us from their respective look-out posts. "What's so funny?" Sirius asked.

"The elderly lady in that flat wanted to talk about sex," James managed to croak out.

"And James' hot body," I added, my hand holding my stomach.

"You should have seen Lily's face when we finally were ready to go," James sputtered. "She had no idea how to handle it."

"Bloody hell," Sirius threw up his hands. "So does their flat have a view of the café from the kitchen or not?"

"Yes," James said. "A window looks right at it from over their breakfast table in the kitchen. But it couldn't be either of them. Mr. Brady told me they'd never left England."

"Mrs. Brady said they've lived here thirty years," I added. "They are retired and their children have long moved out."

"Shit," Sirius said. "Let's check out the last flat then and get out of here."

We ascended the last flight of stairs. After several unanswered knocks on the last possible flat's door, James and I slipped in while Marcus and Sirius assumed their watch positions. It only took us thirty seconds to discover the kitchen window faced the wrong side of the building, its floor plan identical to the flat on the first floor.

James and I made our way back to the front door, but before he could open it, a key was plunged in the lock from the outside and the door swung open. James pushed me behind him. I forgot to breathe as I saw a tall, muscular man was looking down at his ring of keys as he pulled the key out of the lock. He swiveled away from us as the sound of footsteps rushing up behind him came from down the hall. Marcus flanked by Sirius stood panting a few feet away.

"What the fuck is going on?" The man sounded belligerent. He was taller even than James and must have outweighed him by a couple stones. He fumbled with his keys looking a little off balance and hope blossomed in my chest that he was drunk.

"Sorry to disturb you, sir," Marcus tried to smile ingratiatingly. "I was just looking for the flat of a friend. Does Anthony Rivers live here?"

The man stepped out of the doorway and closer to Marcus. James and I edged closer to the door, waiting for our chance to slip out behind him. Only a few more feet and we would be clear.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Apparently he wasn't that drunk, if at all. It was also apparent Marcus' smile worked better on the opposite sex. "This building is locked to everyone but the tenants."

"I know Mr. Brady," Marcus said smoothly. That Marcus was quick on his feet. "He let us in."

The man moved another intimidating step toward Marcus. "I don't believe that. Rivers moved out six months ago."

Shit, obviously no one had bothered to update the mailbox labels downstairs. Behind Marcus, I noticed Sirius had taken out his wand quietly. The man moved another step in Marcus and Sirius' direction, his arm swinging out. "You punks are crazy, just like downstairs. Get the hell out of my building!"

He was just far enough down the hall that James and I were able to slip out of his flat into the hall. James pulled his wand out and he shot a spell at the man before he got within reach of Marcus. The man froze, suspended in mid-action. James and I ran around him to Marcus and Sirius.

"He has a few friends coming up behind him," Sirius hissed. "I was watching through the hall window when they came in together. Two of his mates said they were stopping to grab a few beers and would be right up."

As if on cue, we heard heavy footsteps coming up the staircase and the sound of blokes' low voices. I lifted my wand and obliviated the last few minutes from the man's memory. James levitated the man and propelled his body into his flat where he gently lowered him to the couch. I flicked my wand and James and my costumes and props disappeared, replaced by our jeans and light shirts again.

"Let's go," Marcus whispered. We all moved to the stairs that went to the roof. James held the door open for each of us to slip through. We could hear the sound of the man's friends as they called out to their friend through his open door. Hopefully, he'd be conscious soon.

I breathed a sigh of relief as the rooftop door shut safely behind us. Sirius had brought up the rear and he shook his head speaking softly. "We'd better not go back that way. I heard them say they're leaving the flat door open for another friend whose on his way."

James frowned at Sirius. "Why didn't you warn us that huge bloke was coming up?"

"I tried," Sirius glared at Marcus. "We didn't see him enter the building because Princess here found a nest of rats. After killing the rats, we went back to the hall window that overlooks the street and saw the others coming right as huge bloke lumbered up the last flight of stairs."

"The rats had babies and were squealing," Marcus said defensively. "I didn't mean to jump, they just startled me and Sirius came running."

"Don't quit your day job. I don't think you'll make it as a spy," Sirius scoffed.

"Haven't we discovered it's best if you don't try to think at all?" Marcus gritted out.

"Shit," Sirius swore loudly as he stumbled over a heavy doorstop low on the ground near the doorway.

"Let's just call it a night and ap—" James started. I elbowed him and he followed my gaze. A young couple were sitting on a bench to the side of us and they had stopped what looked like a snog session to stare at us.

"Hullo," the man said awkwardly. "Didn't think we'd have company up here."

"Er, sorry," Marcus moved towards the pair. "We were…trying to avoid—"

"Norm?" The woman supplied quickly. At our confused looks she clarified. "Large bloke on the third floor?"

"Yeah," James nodded. "We ran into him on our way out and he became a bit upset."

"That happens often. He tends to turn belligerent easily," the man said. "There's a fire escape over there if you want to steer clear of him. He and his buddies get raucous when they're partying."

"Thanks," Marcus said. He stepped closer to the couple and began to talk to them quietly while the three of us walked to the other side of the building near the fire escape.

Marcus rejoined us. "They didn't hear our talk about spying," he said quietly. "Luckily, they were busy snogging and didn't notice us until Klutzy almost fell on his arse and swore." He indicated Sirius with a wave of his hand.

James looked over the edge of the roof into the small alley next to the building. "No one's down there. We'll just have to drop the last six feet or so."

"Ladies first," Sirius stepped back behind Marcus and I. I made sure my wand was pushed into my pocket securely. I swung my leg over the edge and started down the ladder to the top floor's platform. "Don't get your knickers in a twist, princess," Sirius grinned at Marcus who had stepped forward to watch me. "You can go next."

"Something else is going to get twisted if you don't shut up," Marcus muttered.

I reached the first platform and moved to the second ladder as Marcus started down. It was dark and I felt for each rung carefully before shifting my weight. Above me, I felt the ladder tremor with Marcus' weight.

By the time I reached the last platform, Sirius and James were also descending. I released the last ladder so it could slide closer to the ground and started down. When I got to the bottom rung, I dropped, braced to hit the ground with my knees slightly bent. To my shock, I fell into the arms of a beefy male, whose alcohol infested breath made my eyes want to roll back in my head.

"Whoa," he slurred not letting go of me even when my body had slid down against his enough so that my feet could touch the ground. "What have we here?"

His arms imprisoned mine making it impossible for me to reach my wand buried deep in my pocket. A memory rose of a hand holding me down. Alcohol fumed breath choked me and a voice hissed "Hold still you little bitch" as I struggled, a heavy hand clamping over my mouth as I tried to scream.

The memory receded. A different pair of eyes stared at me. "Put me down," I cried, trying not to breathe his pungent breath, fighting off waves of terror.

There was no reason to panic, I knew three very capable wizards were right behind me. Yet I couldn't help it. My heart was hammering in my chest and my throat was dry. I felt sweat trickling down my back and my head spun. I struggled against his tight hold, nausea rising in my throat.

"Not so fast, luv," the man grunted as I tried to use my elbows to break his hold. "I'm not going to hurt you, I just want to set you do-."

I heard the sound of feet hitting the ground behind my captor and there was a deep groan as I was released. The man sank to the alley pavement in a stupor revealing Marcus behind him with his wand out. I took a deep cleansing breath stumbling back a few paces from the drunken bloke.

"Are you alright?" Marcus came to me, putting an arm around me.

I tried to nod but wasn't even sure if I pulled that off. I put my face into his shoulder and he held me, my body quaking with fear. But of what, I had no idea. Surely I hadn't been afraid of an inebriated eejit with three wizards ready to defend me. More feet landed on the ground and James yanked me away from Marcus and pulled me to him in a hard hug. I clutched him, burying my face in his chest. Amazing how much different James' body felt pressed up against mine than the hefty drunk. "I couldn't see well enough to risk stunning him without hitting you," he said in apology. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"No," I croaked.

"What's wrong?" James held me tighter, feeling my tremors. "Lil? Did something else happen?"

I nodded against his neck, unable to speak. James rubbed my back, understanding I needed some time. My chest ached as I tried to control my breath which kept hitching erratically. Every time I remembered the feel of that hand across my mouth, panic would set in; my heart would speed up and my knees wanted to buckle. But this bloke hadn't put his hand on my mouth. I couldn't think about it anymore. I concentrated on feeling James' solid body holding mine, the clean smell of his neck and his hand running up and down my back.

After a few minutes, my breathing had become more even and my heart no longer felt like it was trying to leap out of my chest. "I'm sorry, I couldn't see him from the rooftop," James ran his fingers through my hair still giving me time to recover.

Sirius materialized next to us. "He must have been hidden from our view by the fire escape."

I pulled back from James and tried to control my voice. "He wasn't trying to do anything. I think he just saw me dropping the last few feet and was trying to be helpful. But he was drunk and smelled so bad. I wasn't sure how long I could keep from puking on him."

"That wouldn't have been a bad idea," Marcus quipped. His smile looked a little strained as he looked at me. I didn't blame him, all three of them were no doubt trying to figure out why I was falling apart just because some drunk bloke had held on to me. I was wondering the same thing.

"Let's get out of here," Sirius suggested and he did a quick check to make sure no one else had entered the dingy alley.

"He'll be okay, right?" I indicated the muggle now groaning as he started to come to.

"Yeah," Marcus pocketed his wand. "I barely stunned him." James kept his arms around me and the two of us apparated to our rooftop, Sirius and Marcus close behind.

Once we'd entered our flat, James sat on the couch and pulled me into his lap. He flicked his wand and a glass of water floated to me, which I gulped down. Sirius and Marcus sat down, both just watching me. Beth came out of her room with a welcoming smile, but stopped cold when she saw our faces. "What happened?" she asked quickly.

"Can you tell us about it, Lily?" James asked. His arms were around me and I leaned into his chest.

I shook my head. "There's nothing to talk about. The bloke didn't try to hurt me. I don't know why I panicked."

James ran his fingers through his hair. "Are you sure?" He looked uneasy. "You normally don't get upset easily."

They were all so intent, staring at me. "Let's just skip it, okay?" I know my voice was a little shrill but I couldn't think about what had happened without my heart starting to race again.

I felt rather than saw James look over my head at Sirius and Marcus. Beth moved to sit down next to Sirius, but she didn't ask me anything, just eyed me worriedly.

Sirius finally spoke up. "There's nothing you want to tell us? You're as pale as death."

"I'm always pale," I snapped. "His breath just grossed me out."

"Okay," James said soothingly. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

I nodded, relieved and then just sat back and listened as the others told Beth about our night.


	8. Chapter 8

I was walking outside proudly looking down at my feet encased in new pink shoes that contrasted sharply with the deep green of the grass. I could see the shine of the leather and I went up on my tiptoes, twirling around as I watched my pretty pink feet and my yellow dress swirl. A hand clamped over my mouth and it was suddenly dark. I smelled sour breath reeking of alcohol and I struggled as another hand pinned my stomach to the hard ground. Waves of terror washed over me and I tried to scream as–

"Lily," James was shaking me awake. "Lily, wake up."

My eyes flew open. I could make out James looming over me in the dark. I relaxed against the pillows, my heart pounding in my throat. James gently stroked the hair on one side of my head. "Another nightmare?"

I nodded, turning my cheek into his warm palm. Fragments of the nightmare remained but when I tried to concentrate on what had happened, they spun away eluding me. Only the feelings remained, the horror permeating my body. Had there been pink shoes? I'd always hated pink shoes.

James rolled onto his back and pulled me across his chest. I listened to his steady heartbeat, closing my mind to the fear from my subconscious and concentrating on his solid warmth. "Do you want to tell me about it?" James' voice rumbled beneath my cheek.

I shook my head, licking my dry lips. James kneaded my back gently. My breath became even but I didn't fall asleep until long after James' hand had stilled on my back as he succumbed to slumber.

The next evening, Marlene, Beth and I were window shopping on a side street off Kensington when Marlene suddenly stopped and closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. "Where is that scrumptious smell coming from?"

Beth pointed across the street. "Probably that café. Should we go there?"

"Yes!" Marlene's blond hair swished as she looked frantically both ways before walking across the middle of the street. Fortunately it was a small side street and there wasn't much traffic. Beth and I followed her after exchanging an amused glance.

We'd been shopping all evening. Actually, only Marlene and Beth were shopping, I was just tagging along watching them, vicariously enjoying their purchases. I didn't have any money for non-necessities this month and I wasn't about to blow my budget.

Beth was being very careful of her spending and had only purchased a few inexpensive items. But Marlene was happily revamping her post-Hogwarts wardrobe and thrilled she had two friends to model for. She had purchased three new blouses, one a silky blue one that I was itching to try on and maybe borrow in the near future, two pairs of pants and a pair of heels.

After picking out pastries and drinks, we settled into a corner table. The café was quiet and we were the only ones in the storefront once the saleslady had slipped to the back after ringing up our purchases. "Thanks for coming with me today," Marlene said several bites into her cream cheese croissant. "I know it's less fun when you're not buying anything."

"I like looking even when I can't afford to buy," I said taking a sip of my lemonade. I carefully took a small bite of my pastry. The price had been marked 50% down on the day-old rack and it looked slightly wilted and much less appetizing than the fresh goods.

"How's your mission going?" Marlene asked through a mouthful of croissant.

"Slow," I sighed. "James and Sirius have been working every day to whittle down possibilities." Marlene already knew how we had cracked the code Boris and Grant had used and our quest to find Boris' bakery building. Over the last three days, James and Sirius had meticulously scoped out another of our targeted buildings. "It takes a lot of work. They've crossed another one off our list."

"When are you going to tell us about what happened to you the other night?" Beth looked at me slightly apologetically, but she had her stubborn not-backing-down expression on her face. Clearly, Sirius had told her what had happened. I wondered if James and he had set Beth up to grill me.

Marlene looked between us confused. "What am I missing?"

I sighed. I knew Beth wasn't going to let this go without a fight. "When James, Sirius, Marcus and I were working on our Order mission a few nights ago, I freaked out when a drunken bloke grabbed me and wouldn't let go."

Marlene's brow furrowed. "Define 'freaked out'".

"I panicked," I said bluntly. "I couldn't think straight even when there was no reason to be scared."

"Do you know why you were so scared?" Beth asked gently.

"I'm… not sure," I hedged. I stared at my pastry, my hunger disappearing with this conversation. If only I could make this topic go away as easily as my appetite had the last several days.

"But you have an idea," Marlene pressed.

I looked down, folding the napkin next to my plate over and over. "I had a flash of a memory when the bloke was holding me and breathing alcohol fumes in my face," I said slowly.

"What was the memory?" Beth leaned towards me.

"I don't know," I shook my head obviously reluctant to think about it. "Somebody whose breath reeked of alcohol was holding his hand over my mouth and telling me to hold still. Mostly I remember being absolutely frantic."

Marlene and Beth stared at me for a long beat. "And you don't remember anything else?" Marlene finally asked. "Like what happened after that?"

"No." It hurt too much to try.

"Do you think you have a repressed memory?" Beth spoke carefully, her words measured.

I rubbed my forehead. "I don't know. When I try to remember more, I feel sick." I didn't tell them that I'd woken up from the same nightmare every day this week or that the headache pounding at me today, and every other day, refused to go away. Far be it from me to add fuel to their fire.

Beth and Marlene looked at each other. "Maybe you should talk to a professional about this," Beth said.

"You mean a therapist?" I asked surprised.

"Yes," Beth nodded.

"I don't need therapy," I said. My voice sounded defensive even to my own ears.

"It wouldn't hurt to try, would it?" Marlene persisted although her tone was sympathetic.

"You like psychology," Beth pointed out. "You might find it interesting—how they work with you and try to find out what's bothering you."

"Weren't you listening?" I frowned at them angrily. "It makes me sick to even think about it. If a therapist is trying to make me remember, I'll have to feel that panic again." Even just talking about talking about that wisp of a memory made my heart speed up and sweat bead on my forehead.

"But if you don't, it might make you scared again when something sets the memory off," Beth said evenly. Her pretty brown eyes were earnest as they locked with mine. "That panic could come back unexpectedly at any time. A therapist could help you learn how to handle it."

I glared at her feeling mutinous. This was not helping. She reached across the table and took my hand. "Just think about it, Lily," she said her voice soothing. I hated the way she and Marlene were being so cautiously nice with me. Like I was a recalcitrant child who needed coaxing to do what was right.

"Fine," I said mostly to shut her up. There was no way I wanted to open this cesspool of pain inside of me but I didn't want to argue anymore. "I like you better when you're harassing Sirius."

Beth grinned at me. "I know. I love you too, Lily."

I looked at my watch. "I have to go. James, Sirius and Marcus are working on our mission tonight and they should be back by now. I want to check in with them and see if they made any progress."

"Why aren't you working with them?" Marlene asked.

"James insisted I take a few hours off," I said flatly. I didn't tell them that James had become increasingly worried over the week as my nightmares continued. He was hoping some time away from the mission and my job would help me relax. I hadn't even told him about my headaches knowing that would make him more stressed. That was what aspirin was for anyway. "I'll see you both later." They said their good-byes cheerfully enough, but I caught Beth's overly concerned look.

When I got back to our flat, I found the three of them hard at work-playing Sock Quidditch. I dropped onto the couch and watched them, smiling when I noticed Sirius and Marcus' random insults at each other were becoming more routine and impersonal, a sign of Sirius' grudging acceptance of Marcus on our team.

James plopped beside me when their game finished, pulling my legs up over his lap so I lounged sideways on the couch. "The bakery building we went to tonight is another possibility," James said, massaging my calves gently. "We checked out all but two of the flats that have a view of a café. No one was home in those two. We thought we'd go back tomorrow."

"Loser!" Sirius crowed to Marcus just after his sock scored a goal. The two of them had started another game once James had sat down.

"How was your shopping?" James asked. He looked to where I had dropped my purse on a table near the front door. "What did you buy?"

"Nothing," I snuggled in closer to him. "I was just looking."

James pulled back so he could stare at me. "Lily, are you broke? You know I can-"

"I'm not broke, I'm just living within my budget," I told him firmly. "I don't need you to pay for stuff for me. You just bought me that amazing dress anyway."

"You shouldn't have to worry about money all the time," James argued. "You never eat lunch out, you don't buy anything for yourself, you only buy groceries on sale, and you don't even go to muggle movies with Beth. You shouldn't have to be so frugal, Lil."

I laughed. "James, I'm better off than 90% of the world."

"But I'm rich," James said, annoyed. "You won't even let me help you. Why can't I spoil you? You're my girlfriend."

"You do more than spoil me," I touched his clenched jaw. "I'm with you. That's what's important to me."

James' eyes softened. "Me too. I know that having money doesn't matter, but I want to give you so much. It's frustrating me that you won't let me."

"You're always looking out for me, James. I get it." I smiled at him. "But I'm doing fine. I've got everything I need."

"Okay," James looked at me soberly. There was a flicker of disappointment and something else in his eyes that was gone before I could identify it.

"Jeez, Stevens," Sirius yelled. Our eyes swung to Marcus and him standing close in the center of the room. James and I had ignored their flying socks as well as their usual mindless insult match as we had talked. "Watch where you're going." Even while bickering, their eyes were trained on their sock players careening around the room.

Marcus snorted. "I barely bumped you. I didn't have you pegged as such a pansy." His sock Quidditch beater aimed a bludger at Sirius' chaser.

"I just don't like you standing so close that you're practically feeling me up. You're not my type," Sirius said caustically as he directed his chaser to fly in a tight circle to avoid the bludger. "I like my girls curvier than you."

"Yeah, well my type is literate," Marcus retorted. "Good thing we both have such high standards since we can't stand each other." His chaser dove to steal the quaffle Sirius had tried to pass and six socks changed direction and headed towards Sirius' goal.

"Just how many more witless attempts at humour will you have tonight?" Sirius asked as his goalkeeper successfully blocked Marcus' shot.

"Now you're hitting below the belt," Marcus smirked. "The lack of wit is clearly your M.O., not mine."

"Are you two done with your girlish bonding?" James asked peevishly. "Your audience would rather see you actually _play_ instead of flirting for a few minutes." I looked at James in surprise. He sounded tense and seemed out of sorts.

Sirius lifted an eyebrow but did not look at James. "What's got your knickers in a bunch?" His chaser brought the quaffle in front of Marcus' goal and passed it to his other chaser.

"Bite me," James growled.

"In your dreams," Sirius said smugly. His chaser scored and he grunted in approval.

"Ah baby," Marcus moaned, batting his long eyelashes at Sirius. "You're making me jealous. It's not just me you sweet-talk, is it?"

Sirius snorted and flicked his wand so that all four of his sock players flew to Marcus and were plastered across his face, hiding his grin.

James lifted his wand and his socks began to whack at Sirius. Pretty soon I was watching a sock equivalent of locker room towel flicking as the three of them went at each other, laughing when they scored good hits. I shook my head. Blokes were weird. Still, I was relieved the sock flicking restored James' spirits and I had to admit it wasn't a hardship to watch three fit blokes fighting.

Soon I was unable to resist commenting on expert moves. "Careful Marcus," I cried after Marcus' sock skimmed the side of Sirius' hair, making it stick up. "Messing up Sirius' pretty hair is an unforgiveable offense." I loved to tease Sirius about his hair. He took his striking looks for granted but his one vanity was the work he put in to make his unruly wavy hair manageable. James, by contrast, had given up trying to tame his thick, dark hair years ago.

Sirius' sock wrapped around my mouth, effectively shutting me up. I pulled out my wand and my yellow socks joined the fray, the first one smacking Sirius upside the head.

Sirius chortled. "Oh, that's the way we're playing it, eh Evans?" Two of his socks converged on me and wrapped themselves around each side of my hair, lifting the thick locks straight out to the side and twisting them until I looked like Pippi Longstocking. I heard James snicker as he caught sight of me.

A twist of my wand sent my four socks to work. While two wrapped around each of Sirius' wrists, pulling them together, the other two knotted together and tied his hands in front of him, his wand knotted against one arm. Sirius laughed as I took control of his socks and made them flick him repeatedly in the abs. "What are you trying to do, Evans? Tickle me to death?" He could have easily shrugged my socks off his wrists and regained control of his wand but he chose to attempt to toy with me instead. We both knew I didn't have it in me to flick the socks hard enough to sting, unlike these blokes who reveled in inflicting pain on each other.

James and Marcus stopped their sock fight to watch us, huge grins on both of their faces. "You want more?" I lifted an eyebrow. I could imagine how I looked, my hair crazily tousled, my eyes intent and my grin diabolical.

"Give it to me, sweetheart," Sirius said mockingly. Sirius was the only bloke James would allow to talk to me like that and my smile widened.

My wand swished and the sound of rustling clothes came from both bedrooms. Two pairs of dirty socks, one courtesy of James and the other Sirius, came flying from their respective laundry bins and met in the living room. We did our laundry on the weekends and the socks were from last Saturday, when James and Sirius had run and sweated for several hours in them at the park. To describe them as pungent was putting it mildly; they had lain under the other dirty clothes all week, their stench growing. Sirius' face froze in horror as the socks marched through the air in formation to him, until they were plastered right under his nose, the odor causing his eyes to water. James and Marcus laughed as Sirius gagged, frantically freeing his wand to make the malodorous socks drop to the floor.

"Bloody hell, Lily," Sirius groaned waving his hand in front of his nose as if the stench remained. "Remind me to stay on your good side."

I blew him a kiss. The pounding in my head had receded and I noticed a gleam in Sirius' eyes as he winked at me. I was more than suspicious he had taunted me to help take my mind off my worries over my frightening memories this last week. No doubt I was a lucky witch with the mates I had.


	9. Chapter 9

I turned to frown at Beth as I hear the sound again. "Do you hear knocking?" I asked, reaching across the side table to turn down the stereo.

Beth looked up from her book. "What?" Beth was one of those rare people who can read anywhere with total concentration. It wouldn't matter if she was on stage during the ritual smashing of guitars at the end of a Who concert, once immersed in a book she tuned the world out. It was no surprise when she didn't notice what was happening around her when she was reading, it was more of a shock when she _did_ notice anything outside of her book.

Another knock sounded much louder without the music blaring. "Who could that be?" I asked quizzically. It was relatively early on a Saturday morning. James and Sirius were still asleep, but Beth had got up early and I'd been awakened from another nightmare and hadn't wanted to go back to sleep. After putting a silence charm around our living room, I'd turned on music and stretched out on one of the couches with a magazine, still in my pajamas and robe. After my second week at work and no plans until afternoon for our Boris mission, I looked forward to a morning with no responsibilities and hopefully no memories.

James and Sirius had spent hours investigating another bakery yesterday. Through due diligence, they had been able to cross another bakery building from our list of possibilities. They'd given Marcus and me the morning off while they planned to check if the occupants were home in the flat they'd canvassed last night.

Beth shrugged but didn't get up. Sirius had decided it would be safer if she never answered the door just in case the visitor was unwelcome. I picked up my wand and went to the special peephole Sirius had installed. It had better optics than a muggle peephole and I could see the entire hall outside of our flat.

"Shit," I hissed as I saw two familiar faces looking impatiently at our front door. "Beth, it's my parents!"

Beth leaped up from the couch, her eyes wide. "I'll go wake Sirius up and make him leave." She didn't pause but ran into their bedroom.

Sirius and Beth's small flat was actually the one Beth and I leased and paid for. While Beth was rousing Sirius from bed, I waved my wand at the opening in the living room wall. It smoothly began to close up, as James had carefully set up a quick spell for the wall to fill in again, the paint perfectly matching the rest of the wall and a framed Beatles poster hanging itself in the middle. I didn't have time to go warn James, but figured Sirius could do that once Beth got him conscious.

Beth came out of the bedroom and nodded to me to indicate Sirius was gone. Fortunately, Sirius was so skilled at apparating he could probably do it in his sleep. I looked around the room for any other evidence to our actual living arrangements and whisked a shirt of James' to slip through the last few inches of opening to the flat next door before the wall completely closed. I turned off our stereo and headed back towards the door.

James had wanted me to tell my parents we were living together. His parents knew. But I wasn't too sure my parents were ready to hear that their eighteen year old daughter was shacking up with her boyfriend. Okay, it was stupid, but I was still my dad's little girl at heart. I was his youngest and he'd always been very protective of me. As for Beth, her parents thought she was staying with me over the summer and had no idea how serious her relationship with Sirius was. Fortunately for her, they lived too far away to drop by unexpectedly.

I mussed up my hair as if I had just rolled out of bed and opened the door slowly, feigning a yawn. "Mum, Dad!" My eyes opened wide in imaginary surprise.

"It certainly took a long time for you to get the door," my dad said.

"I just got up. Beth was in the loo," I said trying to look bleary. "What are you doing in London? I didn't know you were coming to the city."

"We thought we'd surprise you," my mum said cheerfully. She and my father were early risers and they loved getting up and doing their errands before anyone else was awake on the weekends. "We have some shopping to do in the city and thought we'd take you and Beth to breakfast and see your place."

I opened the door wide and motioned them in. "Come in," I smiled. Beth came forward as I shut the door behind my parents and greeted them warmly. Beth loved my parents and although she was too loyal to say so, I was pretty sure she agreed with James that I should tell them the truth about our relationship. She desperately wanted to tell her parents about Sirius, but knew her wizard uncle, who had a high position in the U.S. Department of Magic, would persuade her parents to make her come home if he knew she was closely involved with a pureblood wizard who was actively fighting in the war.

"This is lovely," my mother walked slowly across the living room. "After seeing the staircase and hall, I didn't expect your flat to be so nice."

I smiled warmly. "Beth and I scoured this place and painted the entire flat."

"You should have seen the bucket of dirty water after we cleaned the floors," Beth added. "And the windows were covered in grime. Losing the curtains only helped."

My dad went to the walls, tapping on the thick plaster. "This building has solid construction. It was probably built in the '20's."

"Come see the kitchen," I said, excited now to show them our place. My dad noted the thick molding around the interior doors and the high ceilings as we went in. He casually went to the refrigerator and opened it up. Too late, I realized most of our food was in the larger kitchen in the other flat. This flat only held the bulk food that took up too much space in the kitchen we actually used. The refrigerator currently sported an old box of baking soda left by the previous tenant to absorb odors, a huge bag of apples (two for one sale), and a pitcher of juice. At the same time, my mother had opened several of the cupboards to find them mostly empty besides a large bag of oatmeal, several bags of pasta, crackers, salt and pepper.

"You barely have any food," he said puzzled. "You've been here a couple of weeks, surely you've shopped for food."

"Actually, we only bought a little because we were so busy cleaning and painting," Beth said quickly. "We were planning to go on a big shopping trip today."

"You haven't purchased any staples," my mum looked a bit puzzled. She knew I loved to bake.

"I figured I'd wait for my first paycheck to buy all that," I said avoiding her eyes.

"Of course," my mother murmured. She looked sympathetic and I realized she was worried about my financial status. I felt like a worm as I caught Beth's eye. I'm a terrible liar. Not because I can't do it, but because it makes me feel like scum.

"Well, this is small but a really nice kitchen." My dad peered out of the tiny window over the sink. "You have a pretty good view up on this floor."

"How do the new bedspreads I made look in your room?" My mother looked eager as she quickly exited the kitchen. My mum moved fast and I hurriedly moved ahead of her to steer her towards the bathroom, my heart thumping. I had no idea what shape Sirius had left his and Beth's bedroom in. It needed at least a quick spell before my parents could see it.

"Let me show you our old-fashioned loo first," I took her elbow. "You'll love the claw-foot tub."

I breathed a sigh of relief as we stepped into the bathroom, babbling to my mum about how we'd thought the tiles were a dingy light brown before scrubbing them and discovering their true colour. The bathroom had gleaming white subway tiles around the claw-foot tub. A shower curtain was hung from a curved metal rod that hung from the ceiling. Fortunately, Sirius had not left any clothes or decidedly male stuff lying around. Beth had hung forest green towels against the white tiled walls, and put some pretty carved soaps in a bowl by the pedestal sink. It was small but very functional and my mum obviously liked it.

"Beth, why don't you show my dad how the hot water knob gets a bit stuck sometimes," I said hastily. Beth nodded, giving me a reassuring look as she edged closer to the bathtub with my dad following her. It was pretty tight with four of us in this small room and I casually left as if it was because it was too crowded. I needed at least half a minute alone to change the bedroom from a couples' room to a girls' room. I knew Sirius' habits enough to know he didn't mind a mess in his bedroom.

Once out of the bathroom, I whipped towards the bedroom. Just as I opened the door, my mum spoke from right behind me. "I'm coming with you, Lily. I want to see how those bedspreads look." She was only two feet away, not giving me enough time. My chest tightened as I braced myself as she pushed past me.

"Oh, Lily," my mum sighed. "They look so nice if I do say so myself."

I blinked in surprise, unable to speak for a few seconds. Inwardly, I was mentally worshiping Sirius for his quick thinking even after being jerked awake. Sirius didn't fully wake up easily. Yet, not only had he changed the double bed into two single beds, but he had remembered to put my mother's bedspreads on both beds and had cleared the dresser of his personal items. A few framed photos of Beth's, a photo of James and I which Beth had taken our last semester at Hogwarts, and a few pieces of my jewelry were on the dresser. The shared bedside table was piled with a couple of Beth's books that I could easily have been reading. All clothes were out of sight, either in the dresser or the wardrobe.

"You girls keep your room so clean," my mum sounded impressed.

"Yeah, well," my voice sounded a little hesitant as I recovered from my surprise. "We haven't been here long enough to make a mess."

My mum walked over to one of the beds and smoothed it gently. "You usually don't make your bed this well at home. There are always bumps and wrinkles. I always guessed you just threw the bedspread over the top of the covers."

"Beth made the beds right before you came this morning," I improvised. "She's more careful than I am."

My dad and Beth came in and once my dad had seen the space, we went back out into the living room. "So, would you two ladies like to accompany us to breakfast?" My dad smiled at us genially.

"Sure," I said as Beth simultaneously agreed. "Give me a few minutes to change and I'll be right back." Beth had already dressed before my parents arrived and she sat down to chat with them as I hustled back to her and Sirius' room.

Of course, none of my clothes were there. I was careful enough to lock the door before apparating to the living room of James' and my flat.

James was sitting on the couch, idly looking through a magazine. At first I thought he looked pretty relaxed, but then I noticed a tenseness in his frame as if he was waiting for something. Sirius came in from the kitchen, eating steaming oatmeal from a bowl as he walked.

"I've only got a couple of minutes," I almost started talking before I was all the way there. I swear my mouth apparated before the rest of my body. "They're taking us out to breakfast and I need to change."

"Everything alright?" James asked.

"It's great." I looked at Sirius. "Thank you so much, Sirius, for remembering to put my mum's bedspreads on the beds, put some of my stuff on the dresser and to get your clothes out of sight."

"It was James," Sirius said, his mouth full. "I was so sleepy I barely managed to bloody apparate out of there."

"You didn't manage, you eejit" James growled. "You ended up in my bed. You scared the hell out of me when you yelled."

"What do you expect when you rolled over and threw your arm around me?" Sirius said disgusted. "You're lucky I didn't bloody your nose, perv."

"I thought you were Lily," James groused. "It was as much as a shock for me as it was for you when I felt your hairy chest."

Sirius pulled up his t-shirt and inspected his upper body. "My chest isn't that hairy," he informed James.

"It sure as hell isn't like Li-," James started to retort, then looked at me abashed.

"Just admit you're warm for my form," Sirius leered at James. "You didn't pull away near fast enough to suit me."

"Your form?" James scoffed. "When did you become a girl?"

"The way you've been ogling me lately, I'm not sure just who you're attracted to," Sirius shook his head in admonishment. "Sorry you had to find out like this, Evans."

"Stay out of my bed, you fucking Lech," James glared at his mate. "Next time apparate to the bloody couch, moron."

"Focus, you two. What do you mean, it was James?" I finally managed to get a word in edgewise. James and Sirius could volley abuse all day if you let them.

"James apparated back to _my _room," Sirius paused to enunciate the possessive pronoun. "He changed it into a _girls'_ room. He's good at shite like that."

"How did you know we wouldn't be in there?" My hair swung as my head whipped back to James.

"I figured you'd save the bedroom for last on your tour and I would have a few minutes. I apparated into your wardrobe to make sure," James explained. He rubbed his back and I knew he'd had to crouch to fit in the wardrobe. "I knew your parents would be suspicious if they saw a double bed with Padfoot's shit lying all around the room." He glowered at Sirius who gave him a bland smile in return.

I ran over to perch next to him on the couch and threw my arms around him. "That was so sweet," I said, my lips close to his ear. "My mum was so happy to see her bedspreads on the beds. And you even remembered to put my favorite picture of us there. Thank you."

James held me tight. "No prob, Lil." It was just like him to make light of it. James was amazingly thoughtful of me and I was constantly surprised with how much he did for me. Even though he really wanted me to open with my parents about our living arrangements, he still helped me hide our cohabitation because he knew that's what I wanted.

I leaned back and kissed him quickly. "I've got to put on my clothes and get back. See you after breakfast?"

James nodded and I raced to our bedroom. One minute later, I was calmly walking back into the living room from Beth and Sirius' room. "I'm ready," I announced to my parents and Beth.

Over a large breakfast, my parents quizzed Beth and me about our jobs and our flat before moving to one of their favorite topics, my love life. "So, Lily," my mum started in that faux-casual way that causes every daughter's hairs to rise on her arms in warning, "Are you seeing a lot of James this summer?"

"Not as much as I'd like," I said deceptively. It was true, I told myself as I saw Beth's involuntary look of surprise. At Hogwarts, I'd been in several classes with James and we'd hung out together all of our free time. Now I was gone almost nine hours each weekday at my job. Even though we lived together, eight of those fourteen remaining hours each day were occupied with sleeping. I actually missed talking with him throughout the day and I was always anxious to get home to him after work.

"What is James doing this summer?" My dad asked. I had braced myself for this question. I couldn't tell them the truth. They would freak out if they knew about the wizard war—and that muggleborns like me were Voldemort's main targets. I'd most likely be ordered to come home and forget about being a witch until the war was over if they learned the truth.

So how to explain James was not working so he could fight in the wizard war? My parents knew James was wealthy enough not to need employment but I came from a solid middle-class background. My parents couldn't even conceive of someone who was young and healthy not working, whether they needed the money or not. They would lose respect for James if they felt he was not doing something.

"He is working with the Ministry of Magic on some reconnaissance work," I said, busying myself with cutting my sausage into bite-sized pieces. I wanted to stay as close to the truth as possible. It would make it easier to keep my story straight.

"You mean, he's a spy?" My mum sounded horrified. "Doing what? Why would they need spies?"

"No, not _exactly_ a spy," I hedged. "The Ministry has to keep their eyes on what's going on with wizards and witches. Just like the British government monitors its citizens to some extent."

"They have to make sure witches and wizards follow the laws," Beth interjected, trying to help me. "You can imagine with the power of magic how easily things could get out of control if someone started ignoring the laws." Beth's uncle was the President of the Department of Magic in the United States so my parents accepted she would have some understanding of these things even though she wasn't a witch.

"How do they do that?" My dad asked sensibly.

I grabbed my glass of juice and took a quick sip. "I'm not sure," I told him. "It's mostly…classified information."

My dad gave a shrewd look at my discomforted face. "Is something going on in the wizard world we don't know about?"

"Um, there is a wizard who has been flouting the laws recently," I replied. "James has been helping with that project. But it's top secret," I rushed as I saw my parents exchange a glance. "You can't tell anyone. Even Petunia."

"Isn't James a bit young to be entrusted with this kind of work?" My dad frowned. He had a skeptical expression that did not sit well with me.

"Yes, but he's a very powerful wizard," I knew they could hear the pride in my voice. For a few seconds, I wished I could tell them about some of James' accomplishments. Being an animagnus and making the Marauder's Map were just a few of the difficult feats he'd been able to perform that few knew about. Even Beth didn't know that James and Sirius were animagi. And I wasn't sure my parents would approve of the purpose of the map, even though the magic used to create it was incredible. James' pranks, although legendary in Hogwarts, normally resulted in postponements of exams, or a classmate being hexed. Not the stuff to brag to parents about.

"Well," my mum folded her napkin and set it next to her plate. "I hope James is…enjoying this position."

"He is," I assured her. Both she and my father shared a slightly bemused expression.

My dad paid for the breakfast and we headed back towards our flat. My dad was scanning the neighborhood, noticing the graffiti and a few disreputable looking people who walked a bit too aimlessly. "Does James and Sirius live nearby?" he asked gruffly. "This area looks a bit rough."

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" I spoke a tad too brightly. "James and Sirius' flat is in our building." They didn't need to know it was right next door to ours. Or that the living rooms were usually connected. Or that I slept in James' bed.

"No, you definitely didn't mention that," my mother said. "That's a relief. I'm trying not to be sexist, dear, but sometimes just being with a strong young man will keep the wrong sorts away."

My dad nodded, although he looked torn. I stifled a smile. Even though they knew I was a witch, my parents didn't fully understand that I could take care of myself with my wand better than the strongest man in this muggle neighborhood. I had other uses for James beyond protection. We reached our building and my parents insisted on escorting us into our flat before they left.

Once the door had closed behind them, I laughingly told Beth where Sirius had apparated this morning. I moved my wand and the living room wall separating the flats slowly opened. Sirius and James were sprawled on the couches, casually lobbing a cricket ball to each other. "How was breakfast?" Sirius called as Beth and I moved into their side of the room. "Did you bring me back any muffins?"

Beth put her hands on her hips. "You have a lot of nerve asking for leftovers," she said coolly.

Sirius frowned, puzzled. "I'm always hungry. You know that, babe."

"I heard you found someone else to cuddle with in bed," Beth continued, her voice low and furious.

"What?" Sirius dropped the ball James had just tossed. His face turned pale. "What are you talking about? Of course I haven't-" he stopped when he saw her lips twitch and he turned to me, eyes narrowed.

"Bloody hell, Evans," Sirius fumed. "Can't you keep your boyfriend's peccadilloes to yourself?"

"Not when they involve Beth's boyfriend," I said lightly. "She's the jealous type."

"Let's keep this story in this flat," James said. "The last thing we need is Remus and Peter to find out. We'd never hear the end of it."

I grinned as I dropped into his lap. "You blokes worry about the silliest things."

"And you don't?" James raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you the one lying to your parents because you are worried how your dad will think of you if he knows you're living with me?"

I frowned at him. "Surely you can understand how hard it must be for a father to see his daughter living with a man when she's still a teen-ager. My dad's a bit overprotective. I bet you'd feel the same about your daughter."

"_Our_ daughter will only be with an upstanding responsible bloke," James grumbled. "So I won't have to worry."

"What if she falls for Sirius' son?" I nudged his shoulder with a grin. James gave a visible shudder.

"Hey," Sirius bristled, narrowing his eyes at us. "Little Lily should be so lucky as to land SJ."

"SJ? Really? You're going to name him Sirius Junior?" James shook his head at Sirius. "You'd better teach your bratty kid to be respectful to girls."

Sirius looked slightly affronted. He muttered something under his breath about best mates who were less than respectful to him and Beth laughed.

James turned back to me and shook his head. "But my future parental issues don't matter now. Don't you want your parents to know the truth about our relationship?"

I saw a raw look in his eyes that surprised me and I squirmed. "Of course, James. I just…think it's a lot for them to take in. I've never been in a serious relationship before. They're going to be really shocked when the find out how serious we are. I want to ease them in."

"Just how long will this easing thing take?" He watched me, his expression inscrutable.

"Do we have to set a timeline?" I asked. "Can I please decide later, after I've dropped more hints about how close we are?"

James sighed. "It's up to you. They're your parents," he said, but he looked disgruntled and his eyes were shuttered.

"I told them you lived in the same building," I said brightly. "And I told them I wanted more time for us to spend together. I meant it, even though they don't know we're living together and spending all of our time outside of work with each other." I slid my hand around his neck and pressed closer, feeling his strong steady heartbeat against my chest.

James tightened his arms around me and he gave me a crooked smile. "I'll never be satisfied with how much time I have with you. Ever. I'll always want more of you, Lily."


	10. Chapter 10

Several hours later, Marcus arrived promptly after lunch. "Come in," I smiled as he entered the flat.

Marcus looked around the unusually quiet living room. "Where is everyone?"

"Beth is out with a friend. James and Sirius aren't back from scoping out another bakery building and should be back any minute." I felt a little awkward alone with Marcus in our flat. We were alone all the time at work, but well, that was work. "Do you want to play Sock Quidditch?"

Marcus grinned at me. "Can I use bloke socks this time?"

I laughed. "I'll get you some of Sirius'". I flicked my wand and two pairs of black socks came from Sirius' room, meeting two pairs of yellow socks from my room in front of us.

Marcus took out his wand as I set up the goals and brought out the quaffle and bludgers from a small box on the side table. "I'll pay you if you hit a bludger through one of his socks," Marcus offered.

"Oh, I'll do that for free," I smirked.

I was ten points down when James and Sirius arrived back twenty minutes later. James frowned when he saw Marcus was already here but he flopped on the couch and watched us for a few minutes. After I scored a goal to tie, James shook his head at me. "Quit playing easy on him, Lil."

Marcus stared at me. "You're going easy on me? Why?"

I shrugged guiltily. "Sometimes blokes don't like it when girls beat them in games."

Marcus gave me a weighted look. "I'm not that insecure. I've been easy on you."

"What?" The tip of my wand flopped face down as I stared at him and my socks fell to the floor. "Why?"

"Last time, you said James had killed you," he smiled sheepishly. "I was trying to be nice and play at your level."

"I told you she was being modest," James told Marcus acerbically. "Lily's just as good as I am."

"Okay, gloves off," I moved my wand and brought my socks up. "Let's go."

Ten minutes of faster paced action later, I was up twenty points when the timer signaled the end of the match. The little arms on the side of the clock timer held up a sign that said "Girl Power." Marcus smiled at me. "Good game, Lily."

I flicked my wand to put away our game, making Sirius' sock sporting a brand new bludger-shaped hole strut in front of him as he looked at a Quidditch magazine. He raised a sardonic eyebrow at my grin and repaired the sock before sending it back to his room.

"We still need to check on the two viable flats in the bakery building from Thursday night," James said once I'd curled on the couch beside him. "The occupants weren't there this morning or when we went by yesterday. Sirius and I went to our next building on the list, but only had time to go to three flats. No sign of Boris in any of them."

"We know the two flats fit Boris' description," Sirius said. "We could see their kitchen windows from the café."

"What should our story be?" I asked. "Repair people aren't really believable on the weekend."

"Like they were on a weeknight," James shook his head. "I don't know how we got away with that with the Brady's."

"They were old and sweet," I protested.

"More like gullible," Sirius commented drily.

"How about I pretend to be looking for a friend who lives there and I only speak French? That will be an easy way to see if they know French." Marcus suggested. "Lily can be my girlfriend."

James bristled. "Why does Lily need to be your fake girlfriend?"

"People worry less with strangers when one of them is a girl," Marcus said.

I nodded. "That's true. They tend to think girls aren't up to something evil, like knocking them out and robbing them."

James scowled but Sirius surprised me by agreeing. "Yeah, that might work." He turned to James. "You and I will be right there watching for trouble."

"Fine," James said shortly. "Let's go."

We met outside the front of the building after apparating to a quiet corner behind a magazine stand a few seconds apart. This building was much nicer than the one by the British Museum but the outside door to the street had not been locked. "Lock was already busted when we got here," James told me. "They're probably waiting on a repairman."

Sirius motioned with his head to James. "Let's go in and set up our look-out spots first," he said. James looked a bit reluctant to leave without me but he nodded. "Give us five minutes," Sirius told Marcus and me.

Marcus grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the window of a nearby jewelry store. "I want your advice," he smiled down at me. "I'm looking for a necklace for my little sister for her birthday." James turned back just as he was about to enter the building door and he glowered when saw our joined hands. I pulled my hand hastily from Marcus' and James went in after one final frown at me. Marcus and I spent a few minutes at the window display and I pointed out a couple necklaces I liked before we went into the building.

We walked up three flights of stairs to the third floor, ignoring the lift. We assumed James and Sirius were already in their look-out positions as Marcus and I went to the first flat door. Marcus knocked and we waited, hearing sounds of someone moving inside. The door was flung open by a large thirty-something year old woman with dark blonde hair.

"Bonjour," Marcus smiled at her. "Est-Phillipe ici?"

"Was?" She frowned. "Was machen sie hier?" Shit, she was speaking German. And if my memory of the small smattering of German I had learned in grammar school was correct, she'd asked what we were doing here.

Marcus' frown matched hers. "Quoi?" He spoke rapidly a few more sentences I couldn't follow.

"Ich spreche kein Französisch," she looked confused. She spoke next in halting English. "I no speak French."

I broke in. "I'm sorry, you speak English?"

She turned to me looking slightly relieved. "A little," she said, her words heavily accented.

"My boyfriend and I are looking for a friend of his," I gestured towards Marcus. "Does Phillipe live here?"

"Nein—no," she shook her head. "I alone here."

"I'm sorry," I apologized again. "We must have the wrong flat. We didn't mean to disturb you."

She gave me a small smile and shut the door firmly. We moved down the hall and met up with James. "Pretty sure that's a no for Boris being here," Marcus reported.

Sirius joined us. "Sure she's not faking not knowing French?"

I shook my head. "She's an amazing actress if she was. There was no comprehension on her face when Marcus spoke in French to her."

"Good, another down," James nodded grimly. "Let's try the next one."

We trudged up the flight of stairs to the top floor. James and Sirius separated, each heading in a different direction. Marcus and I walked to the flat door that was on the back side of the building. "Ready?" Marcus asked quietly.

I nodded and he knocked. There was no sound from behind the flat door. Marcus knocked again and then we heard voices coming down the hall from behind us.

"It's no problem." We heard James say. Marcus took my arm and pulled me into a shallow alcove across from the flat door. A fake potted palm shielded us from casual view.

"I don't know how I thought I'd manage all these bags by myself," a female voice gushed flirtatiously. I peeked between the leaves of the plant to see a bleach blonde, twenty-something woman in high heels and a tight skirt gyrating down the hall, a purse on her arm and holding keys in her hand. Her free side was pressed up against James who walked beside her carrying three large shopping bags. She stopped at the flat door and inserted her key, kicking the door open with her foot and looking at James with a suggestive smile on her overly painted too-red lips. Her hair was pulled up in a high ponytail so tight it looked as if it must hurt and her eyes were heavily lined, giving her a hard, edgy look. Without even checking with James, she waltzed in as if there was no question he would want to come in also. To my annoyance, he obediently turned to follow her in. I raced around the plant and managed to pull James' invisibility cloak out of his front pocket before he'd made it past the threshold. He lifted an eyebrow at me, but silently continued into the flat.

I threw the invisibility cloak on and slipped into the flat behind James, closing the door behind me. Her flat was sleek and modern. The walls were a deep blue with glossy white trim on all the moldings. The couches and chairs were black leather with chrome legs. Magazines were perfectly arranged on the glass coffee table. The art on the wall were modern splashes of colour that were no doubt expensive, but to my untrained eyes looked like a hyperactive kindergartener had painted. There was no clutter and very few knickknacks giving the flat a cold, Spartan air. James walked into the living area and set the bags down on the couch. Blondie turned and smiled at him, sleazily in my opinion. "Can I get you a drink?"

"Just a glass of water," James replied. I knew he wanted to make sure she wasn't Boris, but really? Obviously Boris wouldn't be this slutty, trying to hit on a complete stranger.

"Nothing stronger?" She raised her eyebrows at James who smiled and shook his head.

Blondie poured James a glass of water and brought it to him. James lifted the glass to take a sip as she stepped closer to him. She put a hand on his upper arm. "You're very well endowed, aren't you?"

James choked on his water and backed up a step. He hit the couch behind him and froze, his eyes almost comically wide. "Um…I don't know." Evidently his brain wasn't well endowed, not seeing her obvious pass coming.

She smiled at him. Her hand squeezed his bicep slowly. "Don't be modest." She obviously wasn't. The bitch was wearing a low cut blouse and her black push-up bra was visible. I twitched my wand and her blouse was buttoned up three buttons higher. She didn't notice, still staring at James.

"Do you live alone?" James asked, his voice sounding cautious, his mouth twitching. _Moron!_ There was no way she wouldn't take this as a come-on. I was living with an idiot. I had hoped we'd have smart children someday. Clearly that was not in the cards.

She smiled with a self-satisfied gleam in her eyes. "Yes," her hand trailed down his arm and then back up to grasp his shoulder. I gritted my teeth, my knuckles clenched on my wand under the invisibility cloak.

James hastily set his cup of water down. It made a clanking sound as it hit the glass end table. He ran his hand through his hair nervously. "Do you speak French?" he managed to squeak. I was furious. This was the lamest start to discovering if she was Boris. Obviously the blood had left James' brain to go elsewhere.

She leaned closer to speak in his ear. "Why? Do you like to talk dirty in French?"

James put his hands on her arms to push her away. "Er…no. I mean I have a girlfriend." His eyes wildly swept the room over her shoulder looking for me. Stupid wanker, he should know the Invisibility Cloak would keep me hidden. That is, until I chose to show myself. Which I was having a harder time holding off with each passing moment.

"She doesn't have to know." Blondie purred in his ear. "I'm not looking for anything more than a few hours of fun."

Hours? Wasn't she the optimistic one. _I'd_ show her a few hours of fun is she was up to it. Although the fun would all be on my side.

James cleared his throat awkwardly. "Have you ever lived in France?"

"No," she smiled silkily. "Do you have a thing for French girls? I have a maid's outfit you might like." Unknown to her, my wand moved and her lipstick was smeared on both of her cheeks. I grinned, knowing without seeing her face that my handiwork was excellent.

James grimaced when he saw the lipstick marks and pushed away from her harder, though still far too gently for me, and tried to step to the side. Blondie stopped him by wrapping her other arm around his waist and pressing up to him. "Where do you think you're going?" She crooned, placing her lips against his neck.

"I thought I might sit down," he said desperately. He disengaged her arm from around his waist but she just grabbed his shirt over his chest and clung to him, turning her cheek against his chest. I flicked my wand and her ponytail slapped James' face. He flinched and pushed her away.

"I have a rope. Do you ever tie your girlfriend up?" Blondie had not let go of his shirt and she pulled on it to try and bring him closer to her again. I jabbed my wand and a rope came out of her bedroom to hover behind her back. As James stared at it over her shoulder, it twisted to make a noose and James' eyes widened behind his spectacles.

James jerked away, his expression frantic. "What?"

"Didn't your girlfriend learn to share in school?" she growled as close as she could get to his ear. "We should teach her it's nice to share."

Okay, enough. I was going to do the teaching here. It was time for _her _lesson. I had another, quicker way than James' fumbling questions to see if she could be Boris. In normal situations we tried not to use magic in a way muggles could witness. This situation had just left the boundaries of normal or maybe just past my tolerance level. Either way, it was time to see if she was a witch. I flicked my wand from under the cloak and her hands were pushed down to her sides, hard. Her head was snapped back from James' neck and her face froze in shock.

"Did you just shove me away?" She asked her voice incredulous and at least two octaves higher than the pseudo sexy voice she had been attempting to seduce him with.

James took advantage of her forced movement away from him to step out of her reach. His face contorted. "Er…maybe? You were getting too close."

She reached for him again, only to hit an invisible wall between them. "What the fuck?" She stared at her hand bemused. She put her hand towards James, wincing when she felt the obstruction. "What is this? It feels like a glass wall is between us."

James widened his eyes. The arts world should be grateful he didn't go into acting. "There's no wall," he protested unconvincingly.

She put both of her hands against the wall, looking like a pissed-off mime. "Why can't I touch you then? What the hell is going on?"

"I should go," James walked towards the door. Blondie turned to watch him, her mouth open in stupefaction. Clearly not a witch. She should feel lucky I had been gentle with her, I thought with a touch of malice as I followed James out of the flat after flicking my wand to clean her face and obliterate the glass wall. The noose I left lying on the floor. It would be good for her to learn to not invite strangers to her flat, I reflected. She could use a bit of a scare.

James moved quickly, practically running ahead of me until we rounded the corner and went down the hall to the stairwell. Sirius was there and his eyebrows quirked when I pulled off the Invisibility Cloak to appear behind James. Marcus was right behind me and he spoke first. "Was Boris there?"

"No," I huffed. "Although this rotter—" my arm swept towards James who still had his back to me "—could not figure out how to ask the blonde bitch questions to find out."

James turned towards me then and I saw his shoulders were shaking as he held his sides, his mouth pressed tight to keep silent. He dissolved into laughter, reaching out to pull me into his arms. "Lil-Lily wa-," he gasped unable to finish. Not surprising considering the tosser could barely hold a thought in his thick skull just because some bimbo pressed her chest up to him.

"What happened to set him off?" Sirius moved his shoulder to indicate James. "Did some old bag want to talk about you two having sex again?"

"No," I frowned at James who was now resting his face in the crook of my neck still too overcome with laughter to speak. "The blonde bitch didn't know I was there under the Invisibility Cloak. She just hit on James and the prat wasn't much at fending her off."

Sirius grinned. "So you had to watch some chick going after James? No wonder he's so happy."

"Li—Lily buttoned up the woman's blouse," James chortled. "And she drew eyes watching me with the woman's lipstick on her face." This set him off into fresh gales of merriment.

I narrowed my eyes at him as Sirius and Marcus laughed. "How did you notice her blouse was no longer open past her chest? You weren't supposed to be looking down at her cleavage."

"Hell, he's whipped but not dead," Sirius told me.

"It's tough not to notice how fast those buttons were magically closed," James wheezed. He looked at Sirius and Marcus. "Then Lily smacked the woman's arms away from me and shoved her head back. She p-put a glass w-wall between us."

I scowled at him as Sirius snickered. "What did you expect? Her hands were all over you and her lips were on your neck! You weren't heading off her slutty passes fast enough."

"I was trying to ask her questions to see if she was Boris or if he lived there," James protested, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

"So you asked her if she lived alone, you arsehole," I bit out. "That made her think you were interested, eejit!"

"I didn't think of how that sounded until it was too late," James admitted. His eyes were bright as he looked down at me. "It was tough heading her off while worrying about what you were going to do next, Lil."

"How did you manage to become her bag boy, anyway?" I asked eyes narrowed.

"She dropped one of her bags when she came out of the elevator," James lightly touched my cheek and I jerked away. "Her flat was the only one in that direction. I figured if I helped her, I had an in to figure out if she was Boris or if he was with her."

"If James fucked up questioning her, how do you know she's not Boris?" Marcus asked sounding annoyed.

"I used obvious magic on her," I said still testy. "She would have known what was happening if she had any knowledge of witches or wizards."

James nodded. "Lily's method was more efficient than my questions. Funnier too." He grinned at me. I glared back. James hugged me tightly to him again. "I had to bite my cheek until it bled to keep from bursting into laughter when you started messing with her, Lily."

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself," I said sarcastically. I held myself stiff in his embrace but James didn't seem to care, chuckling as he kissed my hair.

Sirius rolled his eyes at us. "Let's move on."

We spent the rest of the afternoon looking over another potential bakery building. By the time we'd ascertained that it fit in with Boris' comments and checked to no avail on a few flats, it was late and we decided we would have to wait until the next day to talk to more occupants. Marcus went home and Sirius went off to find Beth when we reached our flat.

I went into our bedroom, kicking off my sandals. I wasn't hungry for dinner, I felt irritated and restless. As my wand made my sandals zoom into the wardrobe, I felt James' long arms wrap around my waist from behind. He nuzzled my neck where it curved into my shoulder. "You seem…..a bit peeved about that woman who made a pass at me," he said, a trace of amusement still in his voice.

"And you think that's funny?" I asked waspishly. I tried to step away but James pulled me back against his body more closely.

"I have to admit, I like it when you get possessive about me," his lips moved down my shoulder. It was hard to hold my body tense when he caressed me like this. I wanted to melt into him.

"You seemed to enjoy her hands all over you" I said flatly.

James chuckled deep in his throat, his lips still busy on my body. "No, I didn't. I only allowed her to be so close to me because of our mission."

"Are you sure you weren't struggling to figure out what to ask her because you were so turned on you couldn't think?" I batted at James' hands which were busy unbuttoning the front of my blouse.

"Of course not," James seemed undeterred by my feeble resistance. I obviously wasn't fooling him. Or myself for that matter. "I struggled to figure out what to ask her because I was torn between trying not to laugh and worrying about what you were thinking, watching us."

"So you didn't find her attractive?" I persisted trying to hold my body stiff as he pulled my blouse all the way open and one warm hand settled on my bare stomach and began to inch upward. My irritation was fading and I sensed the perfect outlet for my restlessness was at hand.

"No," James' lips moved up to my earlobe. "There was only one person I was attracted to in that room and she was hiding under my invisibility cloak."

I relaxed slightly and tilted my head to give him better access. "I only want your hands all over me, Lily." James continued his voice husky. "Your lips," he kept talking between longer and longer kisses that inched up my neck to my jaw. "Your body," he gently tangled his other hand in my hair and turned my face so his lips could meet mine. I sighed as the kiss escalated, his mouth moving firmly over my mouth before he slightly pulled back. "Only you," James' voice was barely a whisper, his lips hovering over mine. His hands were busy finding their way to my sensitive spots and my legs were having trouble holding me up. A familiar warmth was building in me and I parted my lips allowing James to dive in as he kissed me again.

James' breathing was as rough as mine when we finally came up for air. "I love your front-clasp bra," he whispered as his deft fingers unhooked it. He supported my weight as I sagged boneless against him, lifting my right arm up and behind me to hold around his neck. I heard his breath catch. "Shit, Lily," he groaned and pressed closer. "You drive me batty with wanting you. You know that, yeah?" I turned my head to see his eyes were lit up as they followed his own large hands making their way down my body. His breathing was harsh and I closed my eyes, the heat intensifying with each touch of his talented fingers.

"Seriously James," I managed to say raggedly knowing soon I wouldn't capable of doing much thinking. "Are you ever tempted?"

He laughed throatily knowing exactly what I was asking. "Not even," James said. "You're all I ever want, Lily." And then he showed me.


	11. Chapter 11

"Another day, another bunch of people to stalk," Sirius said the next morning as we arrived at the building we'd looked over yesterday. James was still in high spirits after living out a few of his fantasies last night. Not the pathetic seduction attempt by the blonde bimbo but how he'd convinced me I was all he wanted afterwards. I had to admit I'd been sated and relaxed last night too, helping me fall to sleep easily. Unfortunately, another nightmare woke me up early this morning and the good feelings generated from James had ebbed. I was feeling raw with emotions too close to the surface.

"Shall we try the French speaking bloke and his girlfriend scenario again?" Marcus asked. He looked at James this time for agreement.

James' smile dimmed for the first time in more than twelve hours but he nodded after a quick glance at me. "If we must," he grunted. I smiled at him and slipped my hand in his. He leaned in and brushed my lips quickly with his before he and Sirius went in to find their look-out points.

Marcus and I followed a few minutes later. We made our way to the first flat that had a window facing the café across the street. Marcus lifted an inquiring eyebrow and I nodded that I was ready. We heard strange sounds coming from the flat. He knocked on the door and the sounds abruptly ceased.

Marcus knocked again. After a long pause, a muted "Just a minute," came through the door. There were more scuffling sounds. Marcus and I exchanged a bemused glance. The door swung open and a young woman stared at us, tension radiating from her. Her dark hair was messy and her blouse hung askew. She was biting her lip and I noticed the hand that wasn't holding the door was clenching, her knuckles white.

"Bonjour," Marcus tried to look composed but I could tell her appearance startled him also. "Est-Phillipe ici?"

"Who?" The woman was giving us almost pleading looks that belied the even tone of her voice.

"Is anything wrong?" I broke in. I couldn't help myself. It didn't take a genius to realize something was amiss here.

"No, of course not," she said flatly but her expression remained beseeching. She flicked her eyes towards the other side of the flat that the door was blocking from our view.

"May we use your phone?" I didn't know how to get into the flat, but I sensed we needed to. "We're having trouble finding our friend's flat number."

"Um, okay," she said, yet she hesitated clearly unsure.

Marcus stepped firmly into the flat and I followed. Once we were barely past the door, the woman was suddenly shoved out of the way and someone wielding a heavy pan bashed Marcus with it on his head. He fell unconscious to the ground. I reached for my wand, but before I could pull it out, someone else from the other side of the door had grabbed me. He held me from behind trapping my arms at my side. "Bloody eejits," he cursed in my ear. "Barging in when it's not your business, slimy bitch." He shut the door and pulled me back more tightly against him, one hand tightly holding my throat so hard it was difficult to breathe.

"Let me go," I managed to rasp out as I struggled. The beefy hand moved from my throat and quickly settled over my mouth. I couldn't see the bloke holding me, but the other bloke dropped the pan he had hit Marcus with and came forward. He maliciously kicked the woman on the floor in the side before turning back to look at me.

"Now we each have one," he leered at me as he spoke to my captor, swaying slightly on his feet. He was a big bloke with sandy hair and cold eyes. His forehead was sweaty and his clothes rumpled and stained with breakfast or whatever his last meal was. "Better than having to take turns with the one." His hand indicated the woman on the floor who whimpered and tried to scoot on her back away from him, her eyes panicked and her hand holding her hurt side.

My hand still barely clung to the edge of my wand but I wasn't able to move it at all. Whoever holding me was strong and also sweaty judging by the sour smell that wafted from his pores straight to my beleaguered nose. If I could get the arsehole holding me to loosen his grip just a bit, I could take care of both of them easily with my wand. But terror made my body shake and my arms weak. I tried to breathe and calm my racing heart, fighting back the memories that I knew would make me incapacitated with fear.

I squirmed again. "Hold still. You can wiggle for me later when I'm banging you," the man holding me hissed malevolently in my ear. Bile rose in my throat. My heart felt like it had escaped outside of my chest, it was pounding so hard.

"This one's a real looker," the man in front of me said. He moved closer to me and lifted a strand of my hair. The reek of alcohol from his breath staggered me and the horror I had been fighting to keep at bay dropped on me like a stone. Panicked, I fought and for a split second, the hand of the bloke behind me slipped from my mouth. I opened my mouth and screamed. The large hairy hand clamped over my mouth harder. "Shut up, bitch!"

The room seemed to turn black. A hand was over my mouth and another pushed down on my stomach, keeping my writhing body from getting up. The bare ground was hard beneath me and I could see the leaves of an overgrown hedge above and around me. "Hold still, you little bitch," a man's voice snarled. His breath reeked of alcohol and tears leaked from my eyes as I felt his hand move lower on my stomach. I went into a frenzy of movement, kicking my feet and knocking my head back and forth. My arms swung wildly towards him, my fingernails scratching his face. His breath hissed and he hit me, hard on the side of the head. I was choking, his heavy hand cutting off my air. I struggled against the blackness threatening to pull me under, flailing harder. The world was spinning and it was turning darker and darker.

I opened my eyes. There was no hedge. I was inside some flat, trying to control my traitorous body. I couldn't get enough air and I concentrated on breathing through my nose, weakly fighting off waves of nausea. Time had slowed down and I felt every inch of my body in contact with his. The bloke's hand was pressed so hard against my mouth I could not even turn my head. His other arm wrapped around my stomach, holding both of my arms against my sides with no leeway for me to reach my wand.

Marcus hadn't moved, his body lay lifeless on the floor. Dread swept through me again. Don't be dead, don't be dead, don't be dead, my mind intoned uselessly.

My eyes suddenly locked on the woman's terrified eyes as she cowered on the floor. Her helplessness and fear for Marcus galvanized me. A murderous rage billowed up replacing the feeble weakness in my shrinking body with strength. I fiercely tried to bite the man's hand on my mouth and his other hand slipped a little as he swore and grappled to contain me. My hand was able to get just enough leverage to grasp my wand and I whipped it up, shooting a spell at the alcohol-breath bloke in front of me. His legs were knocked out from under him as he crumpled in a heap and the man holding me stiffened in shock giving me an opening. I jabbed an elbow hard in his ribs and when he flinched, turned my wand towards the arm that held my mouth shut. The spell slashed his arm open and he reflexively yanked it away from me yelling in pain and dropping his other arm. I whirled around, my wand moving faster than it ever had.

"DON'T YOU EVER-" the man keeled over as an invisible kick to his groin was delivered "—EVER HURT—" a sharp right jab to his jaw made a gratifying sound "—OR THREATEN OR EVEN THINK OF TOUCHING—" the next punch hit his nose causing the sound of cartilage breaking and blood to spurt out "—ANY CHILD OR WOMAN OR MAN—" the next slash of my wand broke his kneecap and he screamed in pain "—OR EVEN ANIMAL !" The man was sobbing in terror as he curled on the floor. I turned to the other sot whose eyes were wide with fear as he tried to scramble away on his arse on the floor. "THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO!" I yelled and his head jerked back as an invisible punch leveled him flat on the floor and blood and maybe a tooth flew out of his mouth. "I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND-" another slash of my wand caused him to jerk into the fetal position and scream as his groin was slammed "—TORTURE YOU—" My wand seemed to have a mind of its own and he groaned in pain as his kidney was hit hard "-UNTIL YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LI—"

"Lily," I heard James say next to me, his voice full of pain. His arm touched mine gently, careful not to startle me. Something seemed to break open inside of me as I turned and saw his anguished expression. James was here, he would take care of everything. I flung myself in his arms, tears streaming down my face. James held me close as I sobbed incoherently, the room spinning around me. James was solid and warm and I clung to him, my arms a vise around his shoulders. He held me securely, protecting, his large hands splayed on my back as I buried my face against his chest, my weeping eyes wetting his shirt.

After an indeterminate length of time, I was able to stop crying and look around the flat from the safety of James' arms. My body was still shaking so hard, I could not have remained standing without his support. To my infinite relief, Marcus was conscious, though grimacing in pain and directing his wand to bind the two men's hands behind their backs. The first was unconscious; the second looked like he wished he was as he moaned in pain. Sirius was helping the woman sit on a comfortable chair. Her eyes were wide and she was trembling as she stared at the two prone men. When she saw my head turn, her gaze collided with mine. In her eyes was a curious mixture of gratefulness—a look almost of hero worship—and apprehension.

"What h-happened?" I asked James, wiping my eyes and face with the handkerchief he'd produced.

"Both Sirius and I heard you scream, which was quickly cut off," James said, his voice grim. His eyes were murderous and his face harder than I'd ever seen it. "We came down here and blasted through the door to find that git beat up and knocked out, and you in the process of kicking the shit out of the other git."

Sirius moved close to us. "His breath smelled like al-alcohol," I stuttered. James' forehead furrowed.

Sirius gave me an unfathomable look as he spoke to James. "Take Lily home. Marcus and I will clean this up."

James nodded and handed Sirius his invisibility cloak. Once we'd apparated back to the flat, he gave me some chocolate, not the muggle kind which only tastes good but the wizard kind that warms you up from the inside out. Then he put me to bed, gently taking off my shoes and socks before cradling my shivering body in his arms as we lay without speaking. The pillowcase felt cool and smooth beneath my cheek. My mind was curiously blank. I concentrated on counting James' breaths and the steadying warmth of his body wrapped around mine until the bliss of oblivious sleep took me under.

When I woke up, I could tell a few hours had passed by the slant of the sun in our room. James moved as I stirred and kissed my temple. "Hungry?" he asked quietly.

Surprisingly, I was. I nodded and we got up and went to the living room. Sirius and Beth were cuddled on one of the couches, Sirius' hand combing through Beth's hair as Beth read him a passage from the book on her lap. They both looked up, their eyes full of concern as I came in and flopped on the other couch.

"I made lunch," Beth said starting to rise.

"Let me get it," James looked anxious to keep busy and he moved quickly to the kitchen.

I turned to Sirius. "Everything okay over there now?" I was proud my voice only cracked a little.

"Yeah," Sirius said solemnly. "Marcus talked to the woman—her name is Trudi-while I took the blokes one at a time to the police station using James' invisibility cloak. She was accosted by the two creeps when she answered the door, expecting a friend she had plans with. They had been tearing apart her place searching for money and valuables when you and Marcus knocked on the door. They only let her open the door because they were thought it was her friend and they knew she'd call the police if no one answered. They told her to tell her friend she was sick and get her to leave or they'd hurt her friend too." He paused, looking both sickened and furious. "They threatened to rape her."

James heard the last part as he came back with a plate of sandwiches for lunch. Bottles of butterbeer floated behind him and he set the food on the coffee table with arms suddenly shaky. "Fucking rotters," he growled, passing out plates. "You did good taking them out, Lily." Suddenly he froze and stared at me. "Did they threaten you too?"

He saw the answer in my bleak expression. "Dammit!" James picked up one of the bottles of butterbeer and threw it hard against the wall. It shattered and streaks of butterbeer darkened the paint.

James sat next to me and hauled me in his arms. "I'm so sorry, Lil," he said. I shuddered as he ran his hands over my back. After several minutes, he looked at Sirius. "Those bastards had better not be anywhere I can go after them."

Sirius shook his head. "They're in the hospital and will be moved to prison once they're well enough. Marcus has a mate who is a police officer. He found out they have outstanding arrest warrants. They've done this before."

Sirius continued after a minute where we took that in. "The first one was sent to the Emergency Room, the second might have to go there too but was headed to a clinic. We decided not to obliviate the prats' memories. We thought Lily's threat might be good for them to remember and no one will believe them if they tell how she hurt them. If they can, that is. According to police records, they're drug addicts and have been ordered into mandatory treatment in the past. The one that was conscious kept babbling that he needed a fix. He had been drinking some of Trudi's alcohol before Lily and Marcus arrived." He looked at me sympathetically. "He wasn't drunk but that's why his breath had such strong alcohol fumes."

"How did you find out so much about their records?" Beth asked. "Isn't that confidential information?"

Sirius nodded grimly. "Marcus used the invisibility cloak to sneak into the interrogation room after the officer had pulled their records in preparation to charge them."

"What about Trudi?" I asked my voice tremulous.

"We decided to obliviate her memory once we discovered the sodding perverts had priors—they're wanted. They have thick files- her testimony won't be needed to convict them. After we obliviated Trudi's memory, we waited outside her flat until her friend arrived. We dressed as officers and knocked on the door to warn them a couple of thugs were canvassing the area and to not open their door without checking. She's fine." Sirius looked at me. "She's better off not knowing what almost happened to her."

I wilted a little in relief and took a bite of one of the sandwiches Beth was passing around. We ate ravenously and I realized Beth and Sirius had also delayed eating for me. "Marcus waited for you to wake up, but eventually left. He felt guilty that they were able to knock him out and he left you to fight them alone," Sirius told me after a few minutes.

"It wasn't his fault," I said shakily. "They surprised both of us. One of them bashed Marcus over the head as the other grabbed me."

"Can you tell us what happened?" James asked me carefully. He put his arm around me and tucked me closer to his side.

I ran my hands through my hair agitatedly. "The bloke grabbed me from behind just as I was reaching for my wand. I couldn't move. He threatened me and when I told him to let me go, he put his hand over my mouth. The other bloke came close and his breath smelled like alcohol. I remembered…." I stopped, overcome.

"Was it the same memory you had before?" Beth asked softly.

I nodded. "Yes, with more details. But I still don't remember much."

James rubbed my shoulder. I took another shuddering breath. "I tried to scream but he cut me off. I think I bit the bloke's hand and was able to reach my wand. And then, I don't really know what I did except I knew I was screaming at them and my wand was just slashing through the air. I was so furious and my heart was practically leaping out of my chest and I felt like I was going to be sick to my stomach."

"She wiped the floor with their sorry sodding arses," Sirius told Beth with a savage note of satisfaction in his voice.

"I was out of control," I said, my body starting to shake again. "I could have killed them."

James pulled me against his chest. "You were easier on them than I would have been," he said venomously.

"But I wasn't fully conscious of what I was doing," I protested. "I felt like I was watching someone else torture them. It is scary feeling like you are not in control of your actions." I clenched my teeth to keep them from chattering. I hated being in shock and I hated that I still felt sick to my stomach and I hated whatever kept happening to me to bring all these feelings of panic. I had never hurt anyone that much before and it frightened me that I was capable of it. Even in self-defense, my violence towards the blokes had been excessive. "I don't know what to do," I admitted wearily, my head dropping to James' chest.

"You need to go talk to your parents," Beth said, her tone matter of fact. At my startled glance, she nodded reassuringly. "It sounds like something awful happened to you at some point in your life. They may know."

James rubbed my arm. "I'll take you whenever you want."

"Let's go this afternoon," I said. One of the many benefits of magic was quick travel over short distances. I'd popped in to see my parents a few times on weeknight evenings when I had a little free time. I knew they would likely be home relaxing on a Sunday afternoon.

I called my parents to let them know we were coming over and that there was something important I needed to talk to them about. Less than an hour later, my mother ushered James and I into the living room when we arrived. My dad stood up and kissed me before we arranged ourselves on various pieces of furniture.

"What's wrong, Lily?" My mum looked at me worriedly. I had put make-up over my cheeks and throat to conceal the bruises, but I knew my eyes were wide and distressed. My dad leaned forward, his shoulders tense.

I wasn't sure how to start so I just dove awkwardly in. "Did someone attack me or try to hurt me when I was a child?" I asked baldly. My hands twisted together and James covered them with his large hand.

My mum started, her hand flying to cover her mouth. My dad stared at me slack jawed. "Did something happen to you, Lily?"

"I've had strange memories a couple times," I told them. "And I've been having nightmares. Some man is holding me down against the ground and I'm panic-stricken trying to escape."

Tears filled my mum's eyes and coursed down her cheeks. My dad looked away, grief and guilt etched on his face. My mum spoke first. "We weren't sure if we should talk about it with you. You were so young-we hoped you wouldn't remember it again. You seemed to have forgotten it."

"Mum," I leaned towards her anxiously. "Please, this is driving me crazy. Tell me what happened."

My mum took a deep breath. "When you were seven, we went out one beautiful June day. We had been driving around Hampshire heading towards the sea. We stopped for lunch at a large park. It was a little early for lunch and we didn't see anyone else there. After lunch, Petunia and I went to take a walk. You said you didn't want to come with us, so we left you with your dad." She stopped, wiping her eyes.

My dad spoke, his voice raspy. "Just a couple minutes after they left, you changed your mind. You wanted to walk with them. I could see your mum and Petunia in the distance and I called to them as I watched you scamper after them. Then a car pulled up and someone asked me for directions. I turned away to answer. When the car had left, I looked back and could no longer see you or your mum and Petunia. I assumed you had reached them." He looked at his hands sadly his head bowed. "I was wrong."

There was a long pause. My mum waited and then picked up the story when my dad remained quiet. "We're not sure exactly what happened. I didn't hear your dad call that you were following us, and Petunia and I descended a small hill and were no longer in your eyesight. Some man grabbed you as you walked past. He pulled you under a huge overgrown hedge and was—well, he was going to hurt you. Your dad heard you screaming and he ran to find you. You were sitting on the ground in an open spot in the middle of the hedge. Your dress was dirty and your new pink shoes were scuffed. The man was lying a few feet away. He was dead."

Silence. I looked at James, my eyes wide. James chafed my cold hands between his.

"You were screaming and sobbing," my dad continued. Tears came from his eyes and he wiped them away gruffly. I had never seen my dad cry before and it made my chest ache. "You couldn't tell me what had happened. I picked you up and held you. Your little arms clung to me, your body was shaking so hard your teeth were clattering and you wouldn't let go."

"The police came," my mum's voice was shaky. "Later they told us there was evidence the man had molested children before. They think he stumbled backwards over a root in the ground and fell. His head hit a rock and he died instantly."

James made a sound that sounded like "good."

"You had a small lump on your head and bruises on your cheeks from him covering your mouth," my mum's throat worked as she talked. "The police believe he hit you. There were marks on the ground where your body had been pressed in the dirt. The doctor who examined you said you were not raped. Your clothes were still on. He didn't know if the man had time to touch you—down there. You would cry and become incoherent when we asked you about it."

I clutched James' hand harder. His eyes were wet when I looked at him.

"Years later, we guessed your magical powers saved you," my mum said slowly. "That wasn't the first time a strong emotion caused something inexplicable—to us anyway-to happen with you. We didn't even realize you had magical powers—we didn't know wizards and witches existed yet. But the man was strong and we don't know what else would have stopped him when he had a tiny seven-year old pinned on the ground."

"You..you didn't send me to therapy?" I asked croakily.

My mum and dad looked at each other. "We tried a few times but you became hysterical." My mum put her head down and rubbed her forehead. "We decided to wait a little while until you were less upset. You had nightmares for several weeks. But then suddenly, your nightmares stopped. When I tried to ask you about that day, you couldn't remember it anymore."

"We didn't know what to do," my dad said unsteadily. "You were happy again."

"We're so sorry, baby," my mum rasped.

I shook my head, my heart reaching out to them. I knew they had suffered so much. Maybe more than me. "You did the best you could."

My dad stood up and stalked to the window angrily. His shoulders shook and his voice broke as he spoke. "You'll never know, Lily, how much I blame myself for what happened to you. I was supposed to protect you. I didn't watch you closely enough. You are my little girl and I failed you."

"Oh Dad," I went to the window and hugged him from behind. "You didn't fail me."

My dad drew a shaky sigh. "It's the worst feeling in the world," he said turning around and holding me closely. "To know you cannot protect your own child." There was nothing I could say so I just hung on as tight as I could.


	12. Chapter 12

James and I found Beth and Sirius sitting in the living room when we got back from my parents' house. I was weary but also agitated. Emotionally, I felt battered but adrenalin was coursing through my body giving me nervous energy I didn't know what to do with.

"You okay?" Sirius asked gruffly. Sirius acted tough but he was one of the most loyal and caring wizards to his friends I had ever met.

"I'm functioning," I said unsteadily. "I think that's the most I can expect right now."

"Would you like anything?" James had been treating me as if I was about to break since the incident. Not that I could blame him. Maybe I had broken. "Food, drinks?"

"I'm not hungry," I dropped onto the couch. Without further preamble, I told Sirius and Beth what we'd learned from my parents. They sat in shock, identical expressions of empathy and horror on their faces. Beth moved next to me and hugged me without speaking. Sirius picked up his wand and made one of his socks fly around, smashing into the walls. His knuckles were white on his wand.

"Lily," Beth finally spoke gently. "You need professional help."

"No, I don't," I protested. I jumped up from the couch unable to sit still. "I can handle this on my own."

"You're having flashbacks and headaches. You're not eating," Beth rejoined. Her voice was kind but firm. She must have been rehearsing this in her head for a while. "You need to work through this consciously so it won't keep haunting you."

"I don't want to!" I cried. "It's too painful to think about." I hugged my arms around myself defensively, pacing a few steps.

James put his arm around me and gave Beth a withering stare. "If Lily doesn't want to see a therapist, she doesn't have to."

Beth didn't wither. She shot him a weighted look. "You're not helping her by coddling her. Obviously she doesn't _want_ to see a therapist. She _needs_ to."

James frowned and his voice became stubborn. "No, she doesn't. She'll be fine."

Beth stood up. "Lily, have you been having nightmares about this?"

I felt as if I'd been stabbed. I gaped at her then turned to James, feeling betrayed. "You told her?"

"No!" James held me tighter. "I haven't told anyone."

Relief coursed through me and I let my body relax in his arms. Beth continued relentlessly. "James didn't have to tell me. Your eyes are anguished and your face looks drawn every morning since the first time you remembered."

James' arm went taut over my shoulder. I swallowed, refusing to meet her eyes.

Beth broke the silence. "Lily, I don't think you can shelve this."

"It will hurt her too much to drag it out," James said tersely.

"It's already causing her to be in pain," Beth said. Over her shoulder I could see Sirius hovering unsure if he should join this fracas. I was pretty sure he agreed in theory with James but wanted to support Beth. "She's tougher than you're giving her credit for." Beth kept her tone even although her face was distressed. "She needs to get this pervert out of her head."

"How is bringing it up over and over going to make it go away?" James yelled. His eyes glinted dangerously behind his glasses.

"It may not ever go away," Beth admitted soberly. "But Lily will be able to handle the memory better with a therapist's help. She'll learn how to deal with it, and it won't have the power to frighten her as much. And she needs to be sure she won't hurt anyone else."

"What are you talking about?" James spat, sounding insulted. "It's _Lily_! She'd never hurt anyone."

"Witches and wizards have enormous power with magic," Beth said. Her voice shook but she continued doggedly. "Lily beat up the guys who set off her memory pretty bad."

"They deserved it," James growled. "They were going to hurt Lily and Trudi."

"I'm not disputing that," Beth replied. I could tell she was struggling to stay composed and she shot me an apologetic look. "But what if something set Lily off and she shot off a spell that hurt a person who _wasn't_ doing anything wrong? What if they just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time?"

"That would never happen," James protested. "I'll never let her hurt someone."

James' words echoed in my mind_. I'll never let her hurt someone._ I took a sharp breath feeling as if a bucket of cold water had been poured on my head. He'd said almost the same thing when I had ripped him apart about letting Remus run outside when he was a werewolf. My throat tightened. I was a hypocrite and even worse, I was a coward as well. Remus didn't even have a choice. He couldn't learn to control his mind when he was a werewolf. Whereas I could recover from this. I could face my past, I could let myself remember the worst thing that had ever happened to me and I could learn to manage it instead of letting it have power over me.

I looked at James, his face furious as he fought for me. He always battled for me, trying with all his heart to protect me, help me or make my world better. But I had to take on this fight myself. Being born a muggle, I had never taken for granted how much power being a witch brought me. Beth was so right. I couldn't hide from this anymore.

"Not every sodding issue needs to be discussed to death," James was still arguing. He was glowering at Beth in a way that would have made most people retreat.

"This isn't a little issue," Beth returned James' look steadily. "It's been over ten years and Lily's having nightmares and flashbacks. She needs to work this out."

"You don't need to browbeat her," James snapped. He was incensed, his nostrils flaring.

"I'm not," Beth sounded guilty for the first time. "I'm sorry, Lily. I'm telling you what I truly believe is best for you."

Tears came to my eyes as I looked at Beth. "I know," I said my throat thick. My heart raced as I thought about what it would be like to dredge up this painful memory. Every time the feel of that hand over my mouth came back to me, the thoughtless terror swamped my body. And the alternative? It hadn't been working to ignore it so far. I didn't want to have to worry about this memory coming back whenever something set me off, or that I would lose control again. I couldn't take the chance that I would hurt someone.

I looked up at James. "She's right, James. I need to do this."

James shook his head, his eyes full of love and worry. "No, you don't luv."

I took a deep breath making myself exhale slowly. "Believe me, if I thought I could get better without putting myself through this, I would. But the memories have been rearing up stronger each time. I'm afraid…..afraid it will keep getting worse." I blinked back tears and used the words I knew would make him understand. "I couldn't live with myself if I hurt someone innocent, James."

James went still and his eyes widened remembering how I'd skewered him and his mates with similar words about Remus being allowed to run free as a werewolf. He realized exactly what I meant and why I had to do this. His gaze softened as he stared at me. He grabbed me and hugged me tightly, his lips in my hair. "Are you sure?"

I fitted my face into the crook of his neck. "Pretty sure." The words escaped me on a long sigh.

"What if we just obliviate that memory?" Sirius spoke up.

I shook my head regretfully. Much as I would like that, it wouldn't be that simple. "It's reasonably easy to obliviate a recent memory without repercussions," I said. "But to obliviate a long ago childhood memory can be dangerous, especially one that is rooted in the person's subconscious. What happened may have affected the child's perception of self and growth into the person she is as an adult."

"So—you could be different if an important childhood memory was wiped clean?" Beth asked.

"Yes," I looked sadly at James. "I haven't just read muggle psychology—I like learning about wizard psychology also. Unless I want to risk changing my sense of self and personality, I can't have someone just obliviate a strong childhood memory. As awful as that memory is, it must have had a large impact on me."

"No," James shook his head vehemently looking frightened. "We can't risk that. I would never want to change the person you are now." He drew me close to him again. My face pressed against his chest. I could hear his heart beating rapidly.

After a few minutes I was able to pull away from James' arms and turn back to Beth. Sirius had his arm slung around her shoulders and she was patiently waiting, her eyes wet and regarding me with compassion. She spoke gently. "One of my co-workers saw a therapist she raves about. His name is Dr. Thomas and his specialty is working with victims of trauma from when they were children. Would you like me to make you an appointment?"

"Yes," I croaked. "The sooner the better. I want to get this over with."

She nodded her expression troubled and caring. I opened my arms and stumbled to her, hugging her as hard as I could. I knew what it had cost her to push me to do this. "I love you," I warbled, tears overflowing my tired eyes.

I felt rather than heard Beth's choked sob. "I love you too." After a few minutes, Beth pulled back. She held my cheeks firmly between her hands and looked into my eyes fiercely. "You are going to be fine. You are strong. You can do this."

"I know," I bit my lip. Right now, I felt none of the above. But I had no choice but to hang on to the belief that I could overcome this.

I came home from work an hour early to get ready for my first appointment with Dr. Thomas on Tuesday. Beth had managed to talk directly to Dr. Thomas yesterday and persuaded him to stay a little past his normal office hours to meet me the next day. I changed into casual clothes and washed my face, my shaking hands fumbling with normally routine functions such as turning on the water faucet. I grabbed my purse and met James who waited white-faced in the living room. I had avoided looking in the bathroom mirror to see how pale my own face was. There were some things I was better off not knowing.

"I'm taking her to her appointment," Beth walked briskly into the living room. Sirius looked between James and Beth, his eyes alert and his body tense.

"I want to take her," James protested. He laced my fingers with his.

"No," Beth shook her head. "You can come and pick her up when it's over. She might have a last minute panic. You would let her run away and then she'll just have to go through it all over again."

James opened his mouth to argue, but I touched his arm to forestall him. "It's okay, James. Beth can take me. I'll see you after my appointment."

James frowned, his eyes searching my face worriedly. He sighed when he saw the resolution in my eyes. "I'll be there when you're done," he said leaning forward to kiss me. I held my tremors deep inside. He didn't need to know that I was quaking with fear at going through with this appointment despite my good intentions. Beth was right, she would firmly shepherd me through this without letting me back down. I couldn't let myself have an out.

"Don't come too soon or Beth will get mad," I whispered.

"I'm not scared of Beth," James grumbled in my ear.

"I am."

James laughed and kissed me again. "I'll be waiting for you."

Two hours later, I walked slowly with Dr. Thomas out of his office. James leaped up from a chair in the waiting room, rushing to my side. Behind him, I saw Beth stand up at a less warped speed and she moved next to him.

Dr. Thomas put his hand on my arm. His kind blue eyes regarded me with understanding as he smiled. "We'll meet again next week?"

"Yes," I smiled wanly at him. I felt wrung out, tired yet more relaxed than I'd been since the first time the memory had struck me. I put my head on James' shoulder, not listening as he introduced himself to my psychiatrist. After Dr. Thomas spoke quietly to his receptionist and returned to his office, James propelled me to the door, Beth on my other side. Before we stepped outside, James looked me over carefully. "Are you alright, Lil?"

I nodded to his spoken question and answered his unspoken one. "It helped. I'm going to be even better soon."

When we reached the floor of our flat, James surprised me by leading me to the flight of stairs that led to the roof. "What are we doing?" I asked.

Beth grinned at me. "It's the 4th of July. We're celebrating America's Independence Day."

My mouth dropped open in surprise when we reached the roof. Strings of small white Christmas lights had been strung around the owlery gazebo, radiating out in lines from its circular roof to the building's edges. Our dining room table and chairs were set between our vegetable garden and the plant containers. A checkered red and white tablecloth donned the table which was set with blue paper plates and napkins. A vase of red carnations sat in the middle of the table. The delicious smell of barbecuing hotdogs and hamburgers wafted to my nose. My stomach rumbled. For the first time in over a week, I felt famished and looked forward to eating.

The sun had not set but was low in the sky, blocked from our view by other nearby buildings taller than ours. Sirius appeared from behind the owlery brandishing barbecue tongs. "Dinner is almost ready," he said giving me an assessing look. I smiled at him and he looked reassured.

"Its All-American food," Beth pulled me to the table. "Hamburgers, hotdogs, potato chips, corn on the cob and apple pie for dessert."

"We call potato chips crisps here, Yank," Sirius reminded her.

"Not tonight," Beth said cheekily.

Conversation was light and inconsequential as we ate dinner. The food was just right on a soft summer night and we laughed as Beth told us stories of her dog trying to attack their fireworks on Independence Day last year. Despite my dry, gritty eyes from too many tears shed today, I felt as if I'd been given an emotional second wind, shored up by their love and support.

"Remus, Peter and Marlene are coming over later for some serious Sock Quidditch competition," James tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. "We're going to play partners in a round robin."

I looked at Beth who easily interpreted my concern. "I'm keeping score," she said. "Plus only four play at a time, so I'll have company on the sidelines."

"Later, we're shooting off fireworks," Sirius grinned in anticipation. "I found a spell that can keep it so only the people on this rooftop can see and hear them."

"Perfect," I smiled at them. They knew I wasn't just referring to the dinner and planned activities.

Sirius eyed the last piece of apple pie. Despite having already consumed two large pieces, he reached across the table for it. Beth beat him to it, dumping it on her plate.

"Hey," he protested. "I wanted that piece."

"It'll go straight to your hips," Beth grinned at him. At Sirius' sad puppy eyes look, she relented. "Okay, I'll share it with you."

James made a disgusted sound. Sirius smirked at him. "Works every time."

"Only with Beth," James informed him. "The rest of us don't like you that much."

Beth's expression turned serious. "Do you want to tell us about your appointment?" she asked me cautiously.

I took a deep breath. "It was painful, but…it feels better now. Like an abscess was drained and the pressure is gone."

"Do you remember what happened?" Sirius asked bluntly.

"Yes," I squeezed James' hand reassuringly under the table. "Thankfully nothing worse happened than what we already suspected. He didn't have a chance to-do what he wanted to."

"How did you fight him off?" Sirius leaned forward.

"My parents were right. It was my magical powers. He was holding me down, his hand over my mouth." I swallowed but forced myself to continue. It was already a bit easier to talk about which heartened me. "I was struggling and he hit me on the side of the head." I felt James flinch next to me and I reached across to rub his arm with my other hand. "For a little while, I was stunned but then I went kind of crazy in pain and panic. The next thing I knew, he had been flung off of me. His mouth was wide open as he stared at me from his arse on the ground a few feet away."

"He hadn't hit his head on the rock?" James asked surprised.

"Not yet," I spoke raggedly. "He scrambled up, saying something like 'How the hell did you do that?' I was as shocked as he was. I was petrified, afraid he'd come back at me but I couldn't move. Fortunately, he was freaked out. He started backing away from me and he tripped. He fell and I heard a thunk."

Beth exhaled a held breath. "Did you know he was dead?"

I shook my head. "I was so scared. I thought he might get back up. I was still frozen, my legs weren't able to move, but I was able to scream. It must have only been several seconds or a minute or two until my dad came but it felt like forever as I screamed, just waiting for the man to get back up and attack me again."

There was silence. Beth wiped her eyes. "Oh, Lily. My heart just breaks for you."

I could feel James' hand shaking in mine. "The memory was right there ready to come out once Dr. Thomas helped me feel safe enough to let it happen. He is teaching me some coping techniques to handle it when the memories frighten me."

James lifted my hand and kissed my knuckles, his eyes wet and full of emotion as they stared into mine.

"Dr. Thomas doesn't know you're a witch," Beth said. "How did you explain how the man was flung off of you?"

"I was just a kid," I said. "Dr. Thomas wouldn't be surprised if the details were fuzzy. I just told him the man must have heard something and stood up, backing away from me."

"Quick thinking," Sirius said approvingly.

"Dr. Thomas said something that made me think of it in a different light," I said slowly. "He was in postgraduate school when this happened and he remembered it. It was widely publicized in muggle newspapers. Until I described my memory, he didn't know the girl was me, of course, but they studied this creep's case in one of his classes. When I questioned him about it, he told me the man had done this before, as my parents said. But even worse, he'd murdered the last two girls he had molested." I looked at the three shocked faces of the people I loved most along with my parents. "I realized how fortunate I was. If I didn't have magical powers, I might have just been another statistic. Instead, I just have to deal with a scary memory."

"That's a lot to deal with," James protested.

"Yes, but I also thought about what may have happened if he hadn't grabbed _me _that day. He probably would have hurt or killed another child. I don't know if it's right to feel happy someone died. I just feel relieved no other little girl had to suffer and lose her life." I looked at James with a slight smile, a welcome feeling of peace inside me. "I'm so grateful that didn't happen."

"I have no problem feeling happy someone evil died," Sirius said harshly. James nodded, his face hard.

"Well, no matter what your moral stance," I smiled warmly. "I want to celebrate tonight. I'm happy to be here, to have you as my best mates, and to have the best boyfriend ever." I lifted my cup in a toast. "To you three, my loyal mates who support me no matter what." We clinked glasses and James threw in a long kiss.

"And to Lily," James raised his glass again. "For being the most caring, incredible witch I've ever known."

"Suck up," Sirius told James but he smiled at me with the true warmth he only showed a handful of people.


	13. Chapter 13

It was drizzling lightly when Marcus and I came outside after work the next day. "See you in a few hours?" I smiled at him. For the first time in over a week, I had slept well last night. I knew I wasn't past what had happened to me when I was perilously close to molested, but I was pretty sure the worst was over.

This morning, I had apparated to have breakfast with my parents and my feeling of well-being intensified when I saw how happy the news of my appointment with Dr. Thomas made them. My dad looked ten years younger by the time I left. My mum had hugged me, impatiently wiping away tears from her eyes. "I'm so proud of you, Lily," she whispered to me.

Marcus' mouth had dropped open when I told him what had happened to me when I was a child and about my session with Dr. Thomas at lunch. "I'm glad you're handling this so well," he had told me, looking shaken.

A shaft of sunlight pierced the grey clouds. Raindrops shone on Marcus' blonde perfectly coifed hair. He smiled back at me. "Yeah, I'll be over later. Bye Lily," He turned and left.

I looked around but James wasn't there. He was probably still working with Sirius. We only had three more buildings to check over for Boris and they had planned to work on that today. I walked to a private corner and apparated home.

I entered our flat humming, shrugging off my damp coat as I closed the door. I jumped slightly when I turned around. Mad-eye Moody was standing in our living room in front of James and Sirius, who were sitting on the couch, suspiciously quiet. Five eyes stared at me and I looked at them bemused. Tension radiated from the three of them and I gave James a questioning look. He looked down.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Did something happen?"

"Unfortunately," Moody turned away from me to stare at James and Sirius. I hesitated, unsure if I should interrupt them further. Moody's normal eye came back to me. "Sit down, Evans. You may as well hear this too."

I sat next to James. He did not pull me closer or touch me, which felt jarring. I considered reaching for his hand, but for once I wasn't sure if my touch would be welcome.

"So after you ran into Tucker and Avery, you decided it was time for a bloody chat? It was a good time to blab about your assignment?" Moody continued, his voice laden with sarcasm. Tucker and Avery were known Death Eaters and James and Sirius had had run-ins with them at Hogwarts.

I could tell James was holding still with an effort. "We got in a fight with them," he said levelly.

"They said some stuff that made us think they already knew," Sirius muttered. He looked more than angry, but it appeared it was mostly with himself.

"They tricked you," Moody said succinctly. "Two of the cleverest young wizards were fooled by these gits into telling them you are looking for the person who knows the muggle names Voldemort is after."

I caught my breath. I could tell James heard by the muscle that clenched in his jaw but he did not look at me, continuing to stare straight at Moody.

"They already knew Voldemort is looking for Boris," James protested. "We were stupid enough to let out who our team is." His voice dropped, embarrassed.

"They know Lily and Marcus are working on this too?" Moody's voice conveyed his derision.

"Yeah," Sirius answered. His shoulders sagged.

"What else?" Moody asked abruptly.

"Nothing," Sirius grumbled.

"You didn't tell them you broke the code Boris and his contact, Grant, were using or that you're narrowing down where Boris is living?"

"No!" James said forcibly. "We're not total idiots."

"That remains to be seen," Moody growled. He paced back and forth for a few minutes. "I'm perilously close to pulling this team from this mission." He stopped when I made a sound of protest. "But you seem to be close to locating Boris and time is wasting." His eye went between James and Sirius. "You two need to work with _all_ of your team from here out. Understood?"

James nodded. Sirius looked mutinous but finally nodded also after a longer glare from Moody.

"I look forward to better news next time I hear from you," Moody turned and left without further comment.

"Shit," Sirius said once the door had shut.

I shifted closer to James. He stared straight ahead, his jaw still tightly clenched. "James," I put my hand on his thigh. Although always hard, now it was like a rock he was so tense. "Are you okay?"

James sighed. He finally turned his head and met my eyes and I realized he was ashamed. "We fucked up, Lil," he said soberly.

I squeezed his hand. "Tell me about it."

"We had spent time looking over the building that houses 'Croissant my Heart and Die'," James began. "It's on Charing Cross Road, close to the Leaky Cauldron. When we left, we headed towards the Leaky Cauldron. We should have realized it was just coincidence that Tucker and Avery were there but we jumped to the conclusion they were following us."

"That arsehole Tucker had a cousin at Beauxbatons and he's met Marcus," Sirius joined in. "We realize- now that it's too late- that he had found out you work in the potions lab with Marcus. He started ragging James about you two, trying to make him jealous and lose his temper."

"So because he brought up Marcus and me, you thought he was talking about us working together on the mission?" I asked a bit perplexed.

"Yeah," James shifted uncomfortably. "I didn't think about your lab. I thought he had seen you two together when you were playacting as boyfriend and girlfriend the other night."

The easiest way to make James unable to think straight was if he was jealous about me. Tucker had hit James in his most vulnerable spot and I could understand why he'd jumped to conclusions.

"The four of us traded threats," Sirius spoke flatly. "Somehow it came out—that Marcus and you were working with us to find the person who has the muggle names Voldemort wants."

"We are such eejits," James spat. "We didn't realize they didn't know."

"But that's all they found out?" I asked just to make sure.

"Yeah," James nodded. "We decided we'd better come clean with Moody."

I lightly massaged James' arm, trying to ease the tension from his tight muscles. "Don't worry. We'll just have to make sure we're not followed when we go out to work on our mission."

James looked at me, guilt etched on his face. His head dropped into the crook of my neck. I looked across him to Sirius. "Where's Beth?"

"We sent her out to get takeaway for dinner when Moody arrived," he said standing up. "I'll go meet up with her."

"Marcus will be here at 6:30 tonight," I reminded him. Sirius grunted and left the flat.

"I feel so stupid, Lil," James said, his breath warm against my shoulder after Sirius had left.

I sifted my fingers through his hair. "We all have those moments," I said softly. "Don't beat yourself up."

James and I sat wordlessly on the couch, his head on my shoulder as I rubbed his back until Beth and Sirius arrived with pizza. I quickly whisked in plates, napkins and butterbeers. Beth looked shocked when Sirius told her what had happened. She didn't say anything, just lightly squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"We have to go out again tonight," Sirius told her ruefully.

Beth smiled. "I figured. I made plans to meet one of my co-workers. We're going to St. Paul's Cathedral." Beth was sandwiching in London sightseeing every chance she could knowing she would only be here for the summer.

"One of your _female_ co-workers?" Sirius raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yes dear," Beth laughed and kissed him.

Marcus arrived just a few minutes after Beth had left, although that took longer than she planned since Sirius couldn't seem to let her lips go. "Shit," James shook his head at his best mate. "You'll see her in a few hours."

"Stay out of my love life, eejit," Sirius had growled before reluctantly escorting Beth to the door.

I decided to explain our new situation to Marcus. "James and Sirius had a run-in today with a couple of Death Eaters."

"What happened?" Marcus asked.

"They got in a fight," I wanted to keep it simple. "Tucker and Avery know the four of us are the ones looking for Boris."

He didn't comment, just looked at Sirius and James. "Moody already reamed us out," Sirius said a tad sulkily. "We can't work on this without you two with us anymore." He looked more than slightly defensive but I had to hand it to Marcus who just nodded, not seeming inclined to put any blame on them.

I figured James and Sirius needed a little distraction before we headed out. "People will most likely be eating dinner right now. We have time for some Sock Quidditch, right? Let's play teams," I suggested cheerfully. "Marcus hasn't done that yet."

Sirius gave me a calculating stare. "Who will be on James' team?"

"Winner of an obstacle course?" I suggested. Already, James looked less dejected. He was trying not to smile as he watched me take out my wand. He moved his wand, creating an obstacle course of floating furniture and objects. His wand outlined a trail in orange for us to follow. I moved one of my yellow socks to the starting line. Sirius and Marcus flicked their wands and grey and black socks lined up with mine.

"Go!" James called. Our socks went screaming towards the first obstacle, flying under the end table then around a sharp turn towards a lamp. Sirius' sock knocked into Marcus' sock, causing him to fall back behind us. "Tosser," Marcus muttered under his breath.

Sirius didn't have time to gloat. Our socks looped around the couch, hovering a few centimeters above the ground, then rose to the ceiling before going for a free fall dive. We both pulled out of it perfectly, our socks keeping up their speed as they swept around a framed photo spinning in the air. Sirius and I were neck and neck, but we had a hairpin turn coming up. I was good at turns and my sock timed it perfectly, slowing down at just the right angle to bank the curve before screaming full speed where I straightened it out and flew over the finish line a split second before Sirius' sock.

Laughing, James caught my sock and lifted it triumphantly in the air. "Lily wins!"

"Shit," Sirius glared at James' grin. "How much do we get?"

"50?" James suggested.

"Okay, you start 50 in the hole." He turned to Marcus. "Get ready, this will be fast. Each team uses six socks when we're playing partners, three chasers, two beaters and a keeper. I'll control two chasers and one of the beaters, you take the others on our team."

"They're giving us a handicap?" Marcus looked confused. His deep blue eyes looked between the three of us in consternation.

"You haven't seen them play together," Sirius shook his head. "It's like they can read each other's mind. It's sodding freaky."

"Get ready to be taught," James' smile was diabolical. He took my hand. "Ready to kick arse, Lil?"

"Always," I grinned.

It took us less than ten minutes to erase our deficit. Twenty minutes later, Sirius groaned when one of my socks slammed the quaffle through the center hoop of their goal. "Bloody hell," he hissed. "Game's already over!"

Marcus' mouth dropped open, shell-shocked. "What? Don't we still have more time on the clock?" He looked at our timer, floating high above the middle of the field. It showed twelve minutes left in the match, but little arms had come out of the sides holding a sign that read "Pathetic."

"Pity Loss Rule," James explained. "If one team has 200 points more than the other team before time is up, it's officially over."

"Which means we were skunked," Sirius informed Marcus. "Mainly because you suck."

"Yeah, like you did any better," Marcus returned heatedly. "How'd you miss that quaffle I set up for you right in front of their goal?"

"You mean the one Lily stole and then turned into a fast break that James smashed in against your weak-arsed goalkeeping?" Sirius shook his head. "Not that how crappy you were mattered, Lily and James together are undefeated. Separate, they're good, but beatable. I've tried with every partner and no one comes close to the two of them as a team. Rotters even keep coming up with new plays every match." He scowled at us as if this was bad.

Marcus looked at James and me. "How do you play in tandem like that? It was like it was choreographed."

I smiled. "We're just well matched." James' smile lit up the room. He slid his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me. I was relieved to see the strain had left his face.

"We'd better get to work," Sirius told us, a tense expression settling back on his face. "The building above 'Croissant my Heart and Die' has six floors with four flats on each. It'll take us a while to check out twenty-four flats."

"Wow, you're good at math too," Marcus said.

Sirius glared at him. "I don't squeal like a little girl when I see rodents."

"But you're capable of counting them, yeah?" Marcus didn't bother to hold back his mocking grin.

"Aww," I slung an arm around Sirius' neck and the other around Marcus. "I love watching two of my best mates bond," I cooed to them both. Sirius rolled his eyes and Marcus grimaced.

"Bloody hell, Evans," Sirius groused. "We can see through you, you know."

"What?" I asked, opening my eyes wide innocently.

"You've read too much psychology gibberish if you expect us to bond over disliking your sappy sarcasm."

I grinned. "It's worth a try. I might just shut up if you act nice."

Sirius sighed dramatically. "This _is_ acting nice, eejit. My insults are mild enough even our Princess can make snide comebacks to them."

Marcus nodded in agreement. "For once, he's right. I'm dumbing down my comments so Ignoramus can actually understand them." He paused. "Or at least, that's the hope." To my surprise, Sirius' snort sounded amused.

Within twenty minutes, Marcus and I were knocking at the door of our first flat while James and Sirius manned their posts. If nothing else, we had become pretty good at this, I thought glancing at Marcus as we waited. The door was flung open by a pretty brunette woman in her late twenties. She was wearing a short dress and high heels, and Led Zeppelin was being pumped out from a nearby room behind her. Her eyes lit up when she saw us. "You're here!" she exclaimed before Marcus could ask for Phillippe.

Another woman, this one blonde and also dressed up with an abundance of make-up popped up next to her. Her eyes widened as she looked us over. "Good work, Belinda. They're smashing!"

Belinda smiled. "I didn't pick them, just asked for three. There should be another bloke coming."

Her friend wasn't listening. "Come in!" She opened the door to us wider.

Marcus and I stared at each other, dumbfounded. Obviously there was a party here from the sounds of conversation and music coming from one side of the flat. The foyer was large and open and we could see there was no one besides the two women there. It didn't look at all dangerous and we both unobtrusively put one hand in our wand pockets as we stepped into the flat.

The flat was gorgeous. We were in a foyer with a high ceiling, gleaming hardwood floors and a beautiful Oriental rug. A large mahogany framed mirror hung on one wall and some expensive looking art hung on the opposite wall near an arched doorway. Belinda was frowning slightly as she looked each of us over. "They're dressed a bit conservatively," she mused. "What do you think, Millie?"

Her friend let her eyes roam down and back up Marcus' body. He was wearing a light blue polo shirt that brought out the intense blue of his eyes and dark pants. "Who cares? He is the best looking bloke I've ever seen." Millie licked her lips and stared at Marcus lasciviously.

It seemed a bit rude the way they talked about us as if we were not standing right there. I frowned at each of them in turn and Marcus and I exchanged another confused look.

"Quoi?" Marcus asked. He backed up a slight step from the predatory look in Millie's eyes.

"Wha—" I started at the same time but the two women were both staring at Marcus bemusedly.

"He speaks French!" Millie grabbed her friend's arm. "Belinda, can he be any sexier?"

Belinda shook her head, the goofiest grin I'd ever seen splitting her face. "Gad, no." Her eyes swung to me. "Does he only speak French?"

This was getting stranger every minute. "Yes, but I think there's been a mis—" I started but was interrupted by Millie.

"Shit, you're not French too? The blokes would have loved that!" There seemed to be some confusion about who spoke what here.

"They'll still love her," Belinda waved Millie off. "She's so pretty and just look at those long legs!"

All eyes turned to my legs. I was wearing casual shorts in deference to the hot weather. My light short-sleeved blouse was white with thin green stripes and my feet were encased in functional sandals that had ankle straps. They were practical and perfect in case I had to run.

Millie nodded. "Her eyes are such a gorgeous green. She'd look even better if she was wearing a push-up bra." She spoke directly to me finally. "Maybe you can borrow one of mine. You're a C cup, right?" Before I realized what she was doing, she reached over and unbuttoned two of my blouse buttons, low enough to show the lace of my bra and more than a little cleavage.

"Hey," I protested, swatting at her hands with one of my hands. The other was occupied with gripping my wand firmly in my pocket. "What are you doing?"

"Sorry," she threw me a friendly grin. "Is the blouse primly buttoned part of the outfit? So that when you strip it off, the contrast makes it even more tantalizing?"

"Strip it off?" I sputtered. Marcus' mouth hung open and a slew of French words poured out that the other three of us ignored seeing as we could not understand any of it. "What are you talking about? I'm not a –"

"Don't worry," Belinda smiled at me. "We know you're from a quality strip club. Everyone has been told you're not hookers and no sex will be involved. If you want good tips, you may have to give a bit of lip action though. There are plenty of blokes here who would love to get their tongues down your throat."

Millie gave me a wicked grin. "Honey, with your lips, I'll help with a little girl-on-girl action. The blokes will eat it up." Marcus gave me a wild-eyed look I could not decipher as I shook my head at Millie.

"No," I protested louder. "You don't get it. We're not strippers." Marcus was still babbling in French. While I appreciated that he was sticking to our cover, it left me alone against two fast-talking determined women.

This time, Belinda heard me. "You're not? Then who are you?"

"Shit, are you guests of Sarah?" Millie dramatically smacked her forehead with her palm. "I'm so stupid! She told me some friends from her office were coming."

Belinda looked horrified. "I'm so sorry! You didn't look dressed for this party and I didn't know who you were so I just assumed you were the strippers." Her face flushed and she covered her mouth. "Now I've just insulted your clothes. Really, you look great, I –"

"It's okay," I interrupted her. "We're-"

Behind me, the doorbell rang. I jumped and Belinda smiled as she moved to the door. "That's probably our strippers." She pulled the door open.

James and Sirius stood in the hall. Their worried eyes changed to confusion when they saw Marcus and me standing there obviously unharmed. Millie craned her neck to see them. "Yes! They're here! We're just missing the girl."

Belinda gestured James and Sirius in. James' eyes met mine as he stepped close to me and his baffled look increased when he saw the amusement laced with exasperation there.

Belinda clasped her hands together. "You two are perfect! More rugged than this other bloke." She indicated Marcus. "No offense, but he is a bit _too _handsome. He's almost pretty."

Sirius failed to muffle his bark of laughter. Marcus' eyes narrowed and he spoke rapidly in French. Of the three of us mono-lingual wizards in the room, Sirius' French was the best. By Sirius' smug expression, I knew Marcus was giving Sirius an earful of invective along with an explanation.

Millie stared at Marcus again, tossing her hair. "He's not too pretty for me," she said with a sultry smile.

"Do you know these strippers?" Belinda asked me, pointing to James and Sirius.

I nodded and opened my mouth to explain just as Sirius said a short sentence in French to Marcus. I only caught the word "girl". Marcus answered with a diatribe that Sirius pretended to listen closely to. He turned back to Belinda and Millie. "He thinks he's too pretty too," Sirius said blandly. "This isn't the first time his masculinity has been questioned."

Marcus coughed and covered the lower half of his red face with his hand. Beside me, James snorted and I bit my lip, trying not to laugh. Clearly Sirius knew Marcus was sticking to his cover of not understanding English and was not going to hesitate to take advantage.

"I'm so sorry," Belinda stuttered as her cheeks flushed. "I didn't mean to question his masculinity."

"I'll bite the bullet and check on it," Millie volunteered. She moved closer to Marcus and smiled at him. "We can have fun even if I don't understand a word out of your pretty mouth, honey."

"But where's our girl stripper?" Belinda shut the door behind Sirius and James. "We have blokes here who will be really disappointed if there's no girl action."

Marcus pointed at Sirius. Belinda and Millie looked confused and then Millie laughed. "That's right, he doesn't understand English, does he? We need a _girl_ stripper," she spoke slowly to Marcus, enunciating carefully. At his frown, she moved her hands in the shape of a woman's torso, making exaggerated curves for the bust and hips. Marcus smiled and pointed at Sirius again while Sirius struggled to maintain a straight face understanding Marcus' attempt to brand him as enough of a girl.

"It's not just the language barrier," Sirius told them, eyes gleaming with malice. "He's a bit slow."

"Well that makes sense," Millie said bluntly. "With looks like that, he shouldn't get to be smart too."

"No worries there," Sirius grinned. I could see Marcus struggling not to roll his eyes.

"Er, we're not strippers," James ran his hand through his hair. "We're just here with them." He gestured to Marcus and me.

"Holy shit!" Millie burst out. "Isn't _anyone_ here willing to strip?" She paused and then smiled smugly. "Actually, I am." She gave me another assessing look. "Are you sure you aren't willing to join me? We could pull in some great tips if we're willing to snog a bit. The blokes will eat it up."

In my peripheral vision, I noticed James went utterly still. I shook my head, trying to look regretful. "Sorry, I'm not comfortable with that." I frowned towards James but he resolutely kept his eyes turned away so that I could not see his expression through the glass of his spectacles.

"Millie!" Belinda snapped her fingers under her friend's face. Millie was staring greedily at Marcus again. "Quit looking like the cat who is about to eat the canary. That's rude when he can't understand what you're saying."

"I'm pretty sure this expression is understood internationally," Millie winked salaciously at Marcus who blinked slowly.

"But he has other issues," Belinda protested. Oddly, Marcus struggling to hide that he understood the conversation made him look dim as well as confused. She glanced at Sirius. "Just how slow is he? He's not like, mentally handicapped, is he?"

"Pretty close," Sirius shrugged. "We suspect he was dropped on his head when he was a baby. Probably more than once."

Belinda gasped. "That's so sad." She looked woefully at Marcus who was having trouble meeting her gaze.

"True," Sirius nodded sagely. "If you understood French, you'd realize how little he makes sense. He gets easily confused. It's kind of pitiful."

"Salaud." Marcus' glare shot daggers at Sirius.

Belinda looked doubtfully between them. "He doesn't seem to like you very much."

At almost the same time, Millie cackled. "Did he just call you a bastard? I know that much French."

Sirius nodded faux sympathetically. "Jealousy is a bitch. I'm all he aspires to be."

"Ta Gueule!" Marcus snapped. Sirius laughed and smacked Marcus' arm companionably as if they were the best of friends although according to my limited French Marcus has just told Sirius to shut the fuck up.

I cleared my throat, realizing we should actually find out what we needed to know. "Sorry, we actually are not here for your party," I started. "We were looking for a friend of ours. Which of you lives here?"

Millie and Belinda looked guiltily at each other. "Er, neither. This is my mum's flat," Belinda said. "She's out of town right now."

"Which is why we're throwing this party on a weeknight," Millie grinned mischievously. "Seeing as this is our last night flat-sitting and all."

"So you don't live here?" I asked Belinda.

She shook her head. "No, I have a key. I just stay here for emergencies and stuff." She looked sheepishly at Millie.

"This party _is_ an emergency," Millie bumped Belinda's shoulder bracingly. "We needed a fun night."

"Does anyone live with your mum?" James interjected. "We're looking for a friend who is French. Name of Phillipe."

"Nope," Belinda said. "I can't imagine he would be here. My mum doesn't speak French either."

I felt deflated again. We'd canvassed plenty of flats and still, no sign of Boris. "Sorry we interrupted your party," I smiled wanly at Belinda and Millie.

"You're welcome to stay," Millie kept her eyes firmly fixed on Marcus who slowly backed away from her. "I've always wondered what the French call French kissing. I'd be content with a demo from a French bloke."

Marcus looked away. "Er, no demos today," I told the two friendly women feeling protective of Marcus. We hadn't acted like boyfriend and girlfriend when we first arrived which would have stopped Millie's blatant sexual teasing. Once James arrived, Marcus didn't want to act as if we were together, knowing it would wind James up.

"He's not your best bet for a kissing demo anyway," Sirius told Millie. "He doesn't really know how. The last girl he kissed told me it was like kissing a little kid. He kept his lips tightly shut."

Millie looked appalled. "His brain is that damaged?"

Sirius nodded. "He's more damaged than you can imagine."

I wasn't close enough to reach Sirius but Marcus was. Marcus put a friendly-looking arm behind Sirius' back. Apparently the reality was less than friendly. Sirius suddenly winced and had to step forward to keep from falling. He grimaced but then just grinned cockily at Marcus who was giving Sirius a death stare.

I glared at Sirius also. "We need to find Phillipe."

Sirius smiled back at me smugly. "Sure."

We left despite the obvious disappointment of Millie and another kind invitation to stay from Belinda. Once away from the flat door, Sirius doubled over in laughter, pausing after a few minutes to eye Marcus with relish. "Apparently my birthday came early this year. I'll consider you staying in character your gift, Princess."

"Oh, good," Marcus deadpanned. "I haven't been able to sleep at night trying to figure out what to get you."

Sirius mockingly saluted him, using just one choice finger to move stiffly away from his forehead. James looked carefully at me, his face impassive. "Why is your blouse unbuttoned lower than it was when we got here?"

"Oh," I blushed hastily buttoning my blouse. "Would you believe Millie did that so I'd be a more attractive stripper?"

James laughed and gave me a wink that looked eerily like Millie's. "Actually, yes." Sirius and James melted away to their look-out positions, James giving me one last Cheshire Cat grin before he disappeared.

Marcus shot a bracing look at me and smiled. "Ready for the next one?" He was clearly relieved to be finished with our last visit.

Three hours later, I wearily sighed as Marcus and I turned away from another obvious _no_ in our quest to find Boris. He made a quiet hooting sound of an owl and James and Sirius appeared from different directions at our side. "I think we should call it a night," Marcus said. He was giving me a peculiar look. "Lily looks done in."

"I'm okay," I protested, although right now I would kill to sit down with my swollen feet up and a cold drink in front of me. I pushed aside some hair that was straggling across my sweaty forehead. It was hot and I'd been on my feet all day at work followed by traipsing up and down these long hallways all night. The last few days had been a long and too filled with drama for my taste.

"It's a bit late to be knocking on strangers' doors now anyway," Sirius said diplomatically.

James came to my side and slid an arm around me. "You've crossed off lots of flats from our list tonight," he said consolingly. Yet when I looked at him, he was staring at Marcus. Marcus was still watching me with a concerned frown.

"Do you want to go to a pub in Diagon Alley and get something to drink?" Marcus asked the group but kept his eyes on me.

"That sounds heavenly," I leaned more into James. James kissed my temple and we apparated to the Leaky Cauldron.

Once seated in a booth in the pub with cold butterbeers and snuggled into James' side, I finally relaxed and just listened to the others. Across the table from me, Marcus kept throwing me worried looks. He and Sirius were squabbling, but even I could tell there was no animosity behind it anymore. James had one long arm over my shoulder, sifting his fingers through my hair which felt heavenly. He was quieter than the other two wizards.

"Ready to go, Lily?" James asked when my head rested heavier on his chest.

"Mm hmm," I said sleepily. He laughed and hauled me outside, where the now cool night air revived me. We said our good-byes to Marcus and soon were back on our rooftop, Sirius only seconds ahead of us.

"I'm starving," Sirius announced over his shoulder as he stomped down the stairs.

"Didn't you just have three butterbeers and a huge bowl of peanuts?" I asked.

"Yeah. So?" Sirius glanced back at me.

James was ominously quiet as he unlocked our flat door which had me sending a few anxious looks in his direction. It wasn't long before I found out what he was holding back on.

"What's wrong, James?" I asked once we'd entered our flat.

"I'm going to smash my fist into his pretty face if he doesn't stop looking at you like that," James exploded heatedly. Beth was sitting on the couch reading as she waited for Sirius. She gave Sirius a wide-eyed look and he sat next to her, his face suddenly carefully blank.

"Like what?" I stared at James in surprise. I didn't have to ask who he was referring to. It had to be Marcus.

"Like he wants to devour you," James bit out.

"What are you talking about?" I asked startled. "He doesn't like me that way. He rarely touches me and doesn't flirt with me. He pays more attention to Beth than to me."

"That's just to fuck with Sirius," James growled. "It's you he's interested in, Lil."

I looked at Sirius for support, but to my surprise, he nodded. "James is right. Marcus hones in on you and then tries to hide it."

My eyes widened. I turned to Beth with a mute question in my eyes. She looked a bit conflicted as she shrugged her shoulders. "I'm sorry Lily, but I think so too. He checks you out when he thinks no one will notice."

I blushed, my mind racing. Was it true? I had caught Marcus looking at me with certain warmth in his eyes a few times, especially tonight, but he'd always stopped quickly and I'd attributed it to our friendship. It was hard to discount the three of them all noticing Marcus' regard. Nevertheless, Marcus knew I loved James. He wouldn't hit on me when I was in a serious relationship. "He is just worried about me tonight. I told him today what happened to me and about my appointment with Dr. Thomas."

"Sirius knows too, and he doesn't look at you like that," James pointed out. "And it's not just tonight that he's been like this." He paced up and down the middle of the living room. "He doesn't touch you at work, does he?" James suddenly asked sharply, his eyes glittering dangerously. "Or lean in when he's showing you something?" James' hands were fisted.

"No!" I cried. "He's always a perfect gentleman. He barely looks at me when we're alone working." Now that I thought about it, Marcus was almost _too_ careful around me at work. He never brushed against me and always made sure to give me plenty of space when we were working side by side. A couple of times when I had touched his arm to get his attention recently, he'd even jumped slightly.

"At least it sounds like the rotter is trying to do the right thing," Sirius told James.

"Are you _defending_ him?" James spat at Sirius in disbelief.

Sirius looked slightly uncomfortable. "I'd never do it in front of him, but-yeah. He can't help it if he has feelings for Lily. Sometimes we fall for someone we didn't plan to." He looked at Beth. The timing for Sirius to be in love with a muggle who lived thousands of kilometers away couldn't be worse. Beth smiled at him tremulously and Sirius leaned in to kiss her gently. He turned back to James. "And he's obviously trying not to put a move on Lily."

"He'd better not," James hissed out furiously. "I'd like nothing better than to pound him into the -"

"James!" I put my hand on his arm. "If—and I do mean _if-_-Marcus has a crush on me, he's not going to try anything. He knows I'm with you."

"Does he know how serious we are?" James said irritably. "Because you haven't even bothered to tell your parents yet."

I drew a sharp intake of breath. There it was. The source of James' insecurity fueling this anger. I knew I had to tread carefully when I saw his eyes had a curious mix of fury and vulnerability. It hadn't been that long since my parents' visit to our flat had first clued me in. What I hadn't told them about James and my relationship spoke volumes to him. I still had underestimated what it meant to him and my chest hurt when I saw that look on his face.

I thought of how it must look to him—I hadn't told my parents we were living together, let alone in a serious relationship. I refused to let James help pay my way, wanting to be financially independent. I balked or froze when he tried to bring up marriage or having children. James knew I loved him but I had to admit, it was hard from my actions for him to know just where I stood in regards to our future.

"I'm sorry James," I spoke cautiously, my voice quiet. "I didn't mean to make you feel I was less committed to our relationship because I haven't told my parents. I am, you know."

James just looked at me. I desperately needed to get that hurt look out of his eyes. I moistened my lips with my tongue nervously. "I will tell them—very soon, I promise." I moved closer to him and slid my arms around his waist, leaning my head against his chest.

James was stiff for a few seconds and then I heard him sigh as his arms came around me. "Okay, Lil," he said against my hair. But I knew it wasn't okay. Not yet.


	14. Chapter 14

I couldn't sleep that night. James' hurt expression kept watching me in my mind's eye. That wasn't the only James haunting me. I kept remembering the defeated slump in his shoulders after Moody had left. James wasn't used to screwing up big time. We were out of school, this was no longer a game of who could hex who better. James took this mission really seriously. He knew the stakes, the many lives of these innocent muggles. He wanted to prove himself, but more importantly, he cared.

I opened my eyes and stared at the real James, his face relaxed in repose in the faint light falling through our window from the street. He twitched and a frown chased across his brow. I knew there was also our relationship weighing on him. I hadn't acted as vested as he did. He was there for me, always fighting in my corner, single-mindedly loyal. I was there for him too, but had I shown him? Did he understand how deep I was in?

I wasn't sure when, but in the last few days my feelings had shifted without me even realizing it. Maybe it had happened even sooner and I had refused to notice. I no longer wanted to hold back, I was as crazy as James—ready to commit the rest of my life to him although we'd barely begun our lives as adults. I inched closer to James and cuddled against his side. He turned towards me in his sleep, his far arm moving to rest across my hip. I'd find a way to tell him. I finally fell asleep with a smile on my lips thinking of our future, belonging with James always.

James was still asleep when I left for work the next morning and I didn't have the heart to wake him for more than just a brief good-bye kiss. When I got into our lab, I found a note from Angela. Marcus had left a message he would be late. Frowning, I started setting up my work. Marcus was really dedicated to his job and I was curious and a bit worried about what was keeping him from work.

Marcus still wasn't in at lunch. I ate my lunch with Bridget and Angela. Angela pulled out her knitting once she had finished eating. "Did Marcus say when he would be in today?" I asked her.

Angela shook her head. "No, I didn't talk to him. I just found his note on my desk."

"How do you stand working with him?" Bridget grinned at me. "Without drooling and messing up your potions?"

I shrugged. "I have a boyfriend, you know."

"But you still have eyes, right? I mean, Marcus is so hot I can barely talk to him without making an eejit of myself." Bridget shook her head. "He's young and a potions assistant to Derek which means his IQ is in the stratosphere. Tell me he's an arsehole and full of himself. There's got to be something wrong with him to balance the rest."

I laughed as I shook my head. "Sorry, he comes across as a good bloke."

She sighed. "I don't know how you resist. That boyfriend of yours must be special."

"He is," I smiled.

Midafternoon Marcus finally came into our lab. "Hi," he greeted me as he quickly pulled on his lab coat. "Sorry I'm so late. Family business."

"Everything okay?" I asked. Marcus looked drawn and he wasn't meeting my eyes.

"It will be," he said, a little grimly. He tried to give me a reassuring smile and then turned to his work, signaling the conversation was over.

I tried to concentrate on my own work but it was difficult. I could feel tension radiating from Marcus. When I heard a beaker crash to the table and Marcus hiss a swear word between his teeth, I finally confronted him. "Let's take a break."

Marcus looked at me almost sheepishly. "Okay," he said, flicking his wand to clean up the spilled liquid and broken beaker.

We walked to the deserted break room without speaking. Marcus ran his fingers through his perfect hair and sighed once we sat at a table. I flicked my wand to pour hot water for tea from the ever present pot of hot water. "What's wrong?" I asked gently as I floated some biscuits to land in front of Marcus on the table and busied my hands dropping a tea bag in his cup.

"Family issues," Marcus said before taking a bite of a biscuit.

I waited. Marcus looked at me and smiled, but his smile didn't meet his eyes. "My sister can't come here yet. I've been looking forward to her visiting me. But now she can't make it."

"That's too bad," I said. "Are you close to her?"

"Very," he played with the string of his tea bag. "My parents died last year. My sister's fifteen, and I'm her guardian now. We've become even closer now that we just have each other."

"I'm so sorry about your parents," I put my hand on Marcus' hand that was lying on the table. He turned his palm over to grasp mine for a minute and then pulled away.

"It's just so different when you have to be the responsible one," he mused. "I used to be so reckless and carefree. Now that she depends on me, I've had to grow up fast." He looked at me, his eyes soft. "She's a great kid. I'd do anything for her."

"She is lucky to have you," I said quietly.

Marcus flinched slightly. "I don't know," he said. "I don't think I've been the greatest brother."

"But you're doing your best," I said reassuringly.

Marcus gave me a searching look that I didn't understand. "Yes, I'm doing my best." He changed the subject to the work I'd done this morning and we chatted more easily. Later, as we were walking back to our lab, Marcus smiled reassuringly at me. "Don't worry about me. I'll take care of this."

I grinned back. "Okay."

It was drizzling as I stepped out on the sidewalk in front of the potions lab building the next day after work. I reached up to pull my hood over my head and jumped when a pair of hands grabbed my shoulders. "Lily!" James looked frantic. His hands ran over my body and his eyes were searching. "You're not hurt, are you? What happened? Where were you? Nothing's wrong, is it?"

"James," I stuttered in confusion. "I'm fine. What are you talking about?"

He frowned down at me. His look of relief was followed by a narrowing of his eyes. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was thoroughly pissed. At _me_.

"Why didn't you come?" His voice was one I wasn't used to hearing spoken to me. It was low and void of emotion, too tightly controlled. "Is your work too important for you to leave for our mission?"

I shook my head confused. "Come where?"

"To meet Boris," James' face was fierce. I almost drew back at his expression, a cold feeling settling in my stomach.

"I was supposed to meet Boris?" I shook my head again. "What are you talking about? When?"

"We sent you a message," James said but his voice now held a note of uncertainty.

"I didn't get any message from you," I wiped the rain from my face to see him better. His angry look had been replaced by a confused expression.

"Sirius sent Hamlish over an hour ago." James ran his hand through his hair. "Hamlish came back without the message which means he'd delivered it."

"I didn't get it." I peered up at him. The gentle rain dripped down his spectacles making it harder to read his expression now that his face had softened. James was right, Sirius' owl Hamlish would never have returned home without completing his task.

"It must have been intercepted," James bit out looking over my shoulder grimly. His gaze came back to me, now considerably gentler. "Sorry, Lily. I should have known you'd never have blown us off."

"Of course I wouldn't," I reached up to smooth his damp hair. "So what happened? How did you set up a meeting with Boris?"

"Let's go home and talk," James slid an arm around my shoulders. "It didn't end well." He pulled me around the corner so we could apparate, ignoring my questions. Once back on our rooftop, we hurried down to our flat.

Sirius was pacing the living room as we entered the flat. Beth sat on the couch watching him with a troubled expression. "Where the fuck were you?" Sirius exploded when he saw me. "Why didn't you—"

"She didn't get our message," James interrupted him. He helped me take off my wet jacket. "Was Marcus there all day?"

"Yes," I whisked my wand to hang my jacket up outside of the closet so it could dry. "He worked with Derek this afternoon but he never left the building."

Sirius' brow knit. "So neither of you saw our message?"

I shook my head. "What was the message? James said you met with Boris?" My head whipped between Sirius and James.

"We thought we were meeting Boris," James said wearily. "It was a set-up. Tucker, Avery and a couple of their mates were there."

My breath caught. I grabbed James' arm and tried to look him over for injuries. "Are you okay? You weren't hurt, were you?"

"Nothing to speak of," James waved away my concern. I'd have to check him over later. I knew James wouldn't take any wounds of his seriously unless there was blood spurting.

"What happened?" I held my breath. Sirius and James exchanged a guarded look.

"We got a message earlier this afternoon," James said tiredly. "It said it was from Boris. He said he'd heard from others in his building that we'd been asking questions a few nights ago and he knew we were looking for him."

"His note said he was in the building with the bakery 'Croissant My Heart and Die', the one by Charing Cross," Sirius interjected. "And that he was able to vet us and knew we were safe to contact. He asked us to meet him so we could bring him in. He wanted us to meet him right away—said he was nervous Voldemort was getting closer to finding him."

"We sent Hamlish with a message to you and Marcus at the lab," James continued. "Hamlish returned and we went to meet Boris. Only you weren't there."

"We still had a few minutes," Sirius said. "We had asked you and Marcus to meet us before our meeting time with Boris. So we apparated to right outside your lab building."

"But we couldn't get in," James said grimly. "You were right when you said your sodding lab is as secure as Azkaban. At least you don't have dementors as guards. We tried everything, but the security is top notch. Only witches and wizards who have clearance to work there can get through."

"So you had to leave to get to your meeting with Boris," I said.

"Yeah," James sighed. "We were back just in time for the meeting. The meeting that was really set up by Tucker."

"They attacked us. Four of them to two of us," Sirius said flatly. "Fucking rotters thought they'd be able to grab us and find out what we knew about Boris."

My breath caught. I didn't want to think of what they would have done if they'd got a hold of James and Sirius. "How did you beat them?"

"We didn't," James snapped. His face was fierce but I knew he was angry at himself. "There was a messy battle. We barely got away."

"We're afraid Boris is there," Sirius added. "And we may have scared him off."

I released my breath. "Does Moody know?" I asked tentatively.

"We don't know," Sirius growled. He paced a few more steps. "He's going to be pissed you and Marcus weren't with us and we might have made Boris move."

"If he did live there, he _should_ move," James pointed out. "Tucker obviously knows we were searching for Boris there."

"Was your message to me addressed to Marcus also?" I asked.

Sirius nodded. "Hamlish could have brought it to him."

"Marcus would have told me," I protested.

"Let's get Marcus," James scrawled a note on a piece of parchment and headed up to the owlery.

We didn't know what to do while waiting for Marcus. None of us had an appetite. Less than fifteen minutes later, he arrived. Sirius opened the door at his knock and Marcus entered, his eyes moving between us quickly. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"James and Sirius sent a message to us at the lab today," I said levelly. "I never saw it. Did you get it?"

"Did it come by owl?" Marcus asked.

"Yeah," Sirius said. "My owl brought it."

"An owl I didn't recognize brought me a message in the afternoon," Marcus twisted his hands. "I took it and opened it but Derek asked me to pour some acetic acid to add to our mixture and I set the parchment down for a minute. The acid caused a reaction to the chemicals in the beaker. The chemicals in it were volatile and it bubbled over and splashed on the parchment. I had to clean the spilled liquid up carefully. The parchment was unreadable." He looked between James and Sirius. "What was the message?"

"We needed you and Lily to meet us," James said flatly. "We thought Boris sent us a message, but it was a trap. We ended up fighting Tucker and some of his mates."

Marcus paled. "I'm sorry. I didn't know who the owl belonged to. He'd already left by the time the note was destroyed."

"Moody is going to kill us," Sirius told James.

"I'll tell him it was my fault we didn't get your message," Marcus said guiltily. "I assumed it was a message from my aunt. I messaged her back but haven't heard back from her yet."

"That's not the worst of it," James said moodily. "If we scared off Boris, we're stuck. We'll have no way to find him if he moved."

We looked at each other soberly. Marcus glanced at his watch. "I have to go home," he said his eyes pained. "I'm expecting to hear from my sister. I'm sorry about this."

I smiled at him. "Don't worry. It'll work out."

Beth slipped her hand into Sirius' after Marcus had left. "You guys have been doing a great job," she told us. "I know you'll find Boris."

"No use brooding about it," James shrugged. "Maybe Boris wasn't spooked and Moody won't even find out."

I found out soon enough even James' optimistic outcome was not to be. We systematically worked through the flats in the building that housed one of the 'Croissants and More' bakeries over the weekend. It was a beautiful summer weekend and it was difficult to catch people in their flats. But by the end of the weekend, we decided Boris was not living there. James and Sirius had discovered another bakery with croissant in the name, "Croissants Worth the Calories" and they made plans to canvass it on Monday while Marcus and I were at work.

Monday afternoon at work, Marcus and I received a message from Moody. He wanted to meet with us immediately after work. My stomach dropped when I saw Moody's bold scrawl on the parchment. As optimistic as I tried to be, even I doubted this could be anything but bad news for our team.

"Rats," I showed the missive to Marcus. "I'm afraid this might be it for our team."

Marcus frowned as he read it. "Don't worry, Lily," he finally said. "He might just have some news for us about Boris."

Marcus and I arrived at the meeting place, an office building currently under renovation. We were uncharacteristically quiet as we ducked under ladders and stepped over equipment in the dusty space. Marcus gave me a bracing smile as he opened the door to the office Moody had directed us to.

Moody was sitting alone. The room had just had new carpet installed, but tufts from the edging had not yet been vacuumed and it smelled of fresh paint. Moody nodded to us and then started speaking. "I've made some—"

"Where are James and Sirius?" I interrupted. "Shouldn't we wait for them?"

"They are not in this meeting," Moody stared at me. "I'm changing the assignees to this mission."

I gaped at him. Even though it was not unexpected, the finality in which he announced it left me flabbergasted. "What? Surely you can't do that!"

"I can and I have," Moody said flatly. "They had orders and they ignored them. I'll give them another mission soon. Something easier that they can't ruin."

"That's not fair," I cried. "They haven't ruined this."

"Not for lack of trying," Moody said. "I'm telling you Evans, they've screwed up too many times. This is a delicate mission and I'm taking them off."

"Then why aren't they here? Why did you only call in me and Marcus if you're taking us off this mission?" I looked between Moody and Marcus not understanding. Only Moody met my eyes.

"I need the two of you to stay on this," Moody said. "You've been closing in on Boris. The longer he stays out there without protection, the higher the chance Voldemort will find him."

My mouth dropped open as shock swept through me. This felt worse than the entire team being removed. "James and Sirius have invested way more time and energy on this than Marcus and me." My hand swept through the air impotently. "They've worked on it every day while we've been in the lab."

"Yeah, but you and Marcus did not screw up," Moody returned.

"It wasn't their fault," I protested. "They tried to message Marcus and me."

"I'm the one who messed up by destroying their message," Marcus added.

"They were ordered not to work on this without you," Moody spat. "They shouldn't have gone at all."

"But then they might have missed Boris," I cried.

"If Boris had wanted to come in, he would have tried again if they couldn't meet him within the hour." Moody stood up and paced away from me. "They knew Tucker and Avery had found out who was working on this mission. They weren't using their brains not seeing through such a stupid trap."

"This isn't right! I can't tell James that this mission—one he's spent hours obsessing over and working on—has been jerked away from him yet I'm still on it!" I hated that my voice was shrill. Moody wouldn't let emotions be a part of decisions.

"Then lie to him," Moody snarled, his very finite amount of patience seemingly gone. "If your pansy of a boyfriend can't hear the truth, tell him the whole team is done and I'm putting someone else on it. I don't give a shit what you say, but I need you on this."

"I hate to lie." My eyes were wet but I stared at Moody. Beside me, Marcus shifted uncomfortably. "I can't lie to James."

Moody leaned in closer to me using his strong will to intimidate. "Evans, you know the big picture is more important than this personnel change. There are lives at stake here."

"Yes," I admitted, my shoulders slumping.

"Then you know what you have to do," he said, his gravelly voice suddenly almost sympathetic. "Get it done."

I bowed my head unable to look at Moody and see the pity in his gaze. "I know what I have to do," I said, my voice void of emotion.

When I got to our flat, I found James and Sirius drinking butterbeers in the living room. James took one look at my face and jumped to his feet. "What happened?" He took my hand and drew me to him.

"Marcus and I met with Moody." I burrowed in his arms. James held me until I pulled away and sat on the couch. He dropped next to me and waited.

Sirius was less patient. "Did Moody kick us off our mission to find Boris?"

I nodded my eyes down.

"Fuck," Sirius summed up his feelings succinctly.

"My sentiments exactly," James agreed bitterly.


End file.
